Mil angst

[TooMuchRuddyChocolate]

I am fully prepared to admit that iabu if that's what the majority think. Have name changed for this as super sensitive.

My mil drives me bonkers. We got on fine until dh and I got married. We still "get on fine" - she has NO idea that she annoys me. But since I became her daughter in law there are few boundaries and she sees me as being part of her immediate family. Which I can see is lovely, but I am way more reserved than her and we've only ever met about a dozen times do it feels weird.

Three examples of things that irritate me to distraction.

1. She says "I'll come and stay in [month]. Let me know which weekend is best." Not "I'd love to see you, can I come and visit" Just this assumption that she can come whenever she likes for as long as she likes. It's so rude! None of my family would do this.

1. I have a baby. Last time she saw him she spent the entire visit trying to get her to sit on her lap. It was ALL about my mil's feelings. If she'd been patient, dd would happily have gone to her. But she kept pushing it when dd was hungry and that wasn't going to work (she's bf!).

1. She will buy dd a chocolate advent calendar. This annoys me because a) SHE'S A BABY b) I want to buy my daughter her first advent calendar c) she has completely different tastes/ideas to me - the advent calendar doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but it's indicative of a wider problem. (think cutesy teddy outfits made of polyester etc. I know I'm ungrateful, but eurgh)

Ok. Hit me. Out and out unreasonable or does anyone sympathise?

I think your examples are a symptom of other issues. I think I understand how you feel about the mil moving in after the birth of your baby. My inPIL separated in a very nasty divorce years ago and all came to the hospital. It was like a race to the hospital and who couldbe there first. These people cannot be in the same room together. I was so worked up about it that I think I genuinely forgot to feed the baby. Was finding bf difficult and didnt want to do it. I found it was all about Them and not really about me, dh and ds. I was so upset about it all unasked forno more visitors at the hospital until bf was established. Dh took this literally and even when dgmil turned up With a fruit basket bigger than her in the driving rain he turned her away. I would have loved to see her and am regretful of that but everybody else kind of spoiled it for us all!

It took some time to get over this tbh. Sounds trivial but I just remember sitting there kind of bewildered but now I feel angry at them and myself for not managing the situation better. Hope you find away to get over it so you can see what your real feelings are about her. Good luck! X