I returned to work when our first child was 9 months old. We could have just about afforded for me to return 4 days a week but after listening to the experience of friends who did that and ended up basically working 5 days but being paid for 4, I could see that happening very easily in my job so negotiated a flexible working week where I work at least 2 days a week from home and 3 days in the office. That means I work a lot at night after the DCs have gone to bed. I work more hours probably than my contract but my job is so flexible, I kind of feel as though I 'owe' them more hours as they have been extremely flexible with the hours I work. As long as I meet the deadlines it doesn't really matter what time of day I am working iykwim.
Anyway, DP also works flexible hours which means that when I returned to work after DC1, we had a childminder who minded DC1 for 3 mornings a week from 8am - 12 and the rest of the time we split the childcare between us. From our antenatal class, I was the last mum who returned to work which meant that the other 6 babies in the group were all in childcare starting from 5 months onwards. 5 out of those 6 babies were placed in the same nursery for full-time care from 8am - 6:30 5 days a week. It is an extremely expensive nursery, I am talking 3,000 a month for 2 siblings, where the children learn lacrosse and have French lessons. There is no way we could have afforded it even if we wanted to or needed the hours which we didn't. We were quite happy with our 3 mornings a week childminder, where DD was with a little boy the same age as her. BUT whenever the group met up, the others always talked about how satisfied they were that they were 'getting the best childcare money could buy'. I would often come home feeling a bit deflated. DP and I went to the nursery one day as we were attending a First Aid course which happened to be held there. We saw all the photos of the other antenatal toddlers together in the same 'class' and even DP (who would never normally feel bothered about stuff like that) said he felt as though DD was missing out on something!
Fast forward a few years and I know now that we did the best we could for our DC, as did those other parents. The DCs are all at school now and the same pattern has continued. Ours go to the local primary school. Our antenatal contemporaries go to private schools where they are in after-school clubs every day and holiday clubs. It's just a totally different lifestyle. When I'm making breakfast in the morning at 7am and the DCs are either still asleep or just getting out of bed, I see one of our antenatal friends running down the road to get her second baby to said nursery, usually shouting to her DC1 who is trailing behind in her very smart uniform, travelling to her private school the other side of London. BUT, I am also convinced that they would never want a life like ours either and I am sure that they congratulate themselves that their children are going to good private schools. What, I am trying to say is everyone is different and most people want the best for their children. But people's ideas of what is 'best' will differ. Just as well too, otherwise the waiting list for everything would be huge!