Boris wants your children

[Sparrowp]

Boris wants your children for the gulags.

He wants to punish teach them skills of rock-breaking and oakum picking!

Bring your children to build the great nation!

Even if they have studied hard at school, achieved their expensive degree, and volunteer ten times a day, they must not expect payment until they get experience are working get paid.

At the press conference, Boris, with one arm oddly twisted behind his back, confirmed that it was a tough job market, and employers were crying out for prisoners free labour something for nothing work experience.

Congratulations Sparrowp! You win today's prize for "Most ridiculous exaggeration on mumsnet"!

I was going to say, he is welcome to them.

I'm all for it.

Thanks Snorbs

I know its difficult to tell satire apart from the truth. I should make clear that there is no guarantee of oakum-picking. And we don't call them Gulags here.

The rest is facts!

aka 13 weeks unpaid work experience in return for their benefits.

I don't think it's a terrible idea.

You get work experience. something to put on your CV. you get to experience the workplace and understand what's expected of you.

I did work experience under a similar scheme years ago. It taught me a lot. I was able to get a good job as I had skills that I otherwise wouldn't have had.

'As well as charities, some will be made to work for businesses that provide a clear "community benefit".'

So, what paying jobs will there be for them to get? What business would offer someone paid work when they can get 'work experience' people for free?

The Tory party did not confirm sponsorship plans to rename Great Britain to Great Tesco.

The plans are controversial as B&Q claim Great B&Q would have better, more consistent initials.

Well I guess it beats National Service!

Some of the partners under the existing 'experience schemes' have been worthy businesses like Tesco and Superdrug. How many free/exceptionally cheap hours of work do you think they got out of those people? Hours that otherwise would have been offered as paid work?

Good. Roll it on out. If my DC were signing on, I'd be happy to send them off with a nice packed lunch every morning.

They'd be gaining experience.

That's right Heath.

It's only 13 weeks.

It would be good if there was a cap on the number of work experience people you could have, so that companies don't just keep replacing one with another and another and another.

Although, having owned a business and employed people, I have to tell you that it really is a pain in the arse training new people up! I really wouldn't have fancied doing it every 13 weeks. But I would have had one or two every now and then to help young people get some relevant skills and a foot in the employment door, even if I didn't have an actual vacancy myself. and I would also have gone for it if I did have a vacancy, to test them out with a view to employing them.

It can be a win-win, if done properly.

I think all young people should do charity work of some sort.

About time to as decades of cash for nothing has not instilled a work ethic in many so lets take a different approach and see what comes of it. Call me Tony and his cultural marxism failed or did you not notice the mess they left the country in.

I'm sure there's training. But they'll have them for 13 weeks and the work isn't going to be highly skilled. At least 10 of those weeks they'll have capable staff that they should be paying at least minimum wage to. And they'll be paying nothing. Zero. Free labour. If that doesn't have a serious impact on hiring new staff and the hours offered to existing staff then they really need to look at their business plan because something's gone drastically wrong.

The summer is a great time to do it - why get your staff from a temping agency when you can get an expensively trained top graduate for free!

Reports that at superdrug, prisoners trainees get a free badge saying Gotcha! are unconfirmed.

If done properly its a good idea. If it leads to jobs for these young people then its a good idea. If it means that community projects can run its a good idea.

I dont understand what the over reaction about.

Entry level, minimum wage work will disappear. Or you'll only be able to access it by giving them 13 weeks for free, at the end of which they might just let you go anyway.

But they want the young people to work within charities and community groups.

You can also expect the PAID Christmas temp jobs to dissappear.

Look how well they work!

Vagaceratops, the article says 'As well as charities, some will be made to work for businesses that provide a clear "community benefit".' How will that be interpreted? Existing schemes have seen people sent to, amongst other places, Tesco and Superdrug.

Sorry but I thought the original idea was crap, and dressing it up as character building or whatever for young people is just as crap.

Not paying someone to work...I'm sure there is a word for it somewhere.
Oh and it worked so well before:
One, the mandatory work activity scheme, which lasts for a month, was found by the DWP to have zero effect on chances of landing a job. It also had no effect in getting people off benefits over a six-month period and led to a small increase in those claiming sickness support payments.

Thats right Vag and it includes care homes.
Lets see if the right wingers on here are so keen to pay extortionate rates for their elderly relatives to stay in these homes if they know they are saving on the wages by not paying some of their staff.
Will people still be keen to pay these rates then?
Or will they show the utmost hypocrisy and then be up in arms about it because workfare schemes will be starting to profit from the care home fees that they are paying.

I love Boris Bollochs, I want his children