to think my best mate went a bit bridezilla on me

[formallyknownasloveydarling]

I was planning to go abroad to a wedding party of my very good girlfriend with my family but eventually decided to go on my own because dh was less than enthusiastic and my kids were tired, it being the end of a busy summer hols.

My girlfriend was NOT HAPPY about this. She said I had left her out of pocket as they had put the final numbers through and because of me saying I would stay at her house and then not everyone else was out of pocket as they had to stay in hotels.

Clearly it is not my fault my kids are tired. It is because of the kitchen extension.

AIBU? Or, more likely, has my girlfriend turned into bridezilla?

It is hard work having a 3yr old with you all day and evening, (I assume) at a wedding. It seems like you didn't give it much thought. At 2 weeks to go I'd be worried if I didn't have my outfit sorted never mind no flights booked. I think you realised it would be easier and possibly more fun to go on your own and instead of just admitting it and apologising you are looking for excuses, a 3 yr old won't be so tired that an early night or 2 wouldn't fix it.

I also went to a wedding this weekend of a friend of more than 20 yrs, the first thing I did when I got the date months back was tell dh to put it in his diary and asked my parents to babysit.

It seems you are accepting now that YABU, I hope you and your friend sort it out.

YABVU if you said you would all go and then pulled out without good reason at the last minute. The kids were tired - very lame excuse.

And why would a kitchen extension make the kids tired - you got them plastering the walls and installing a cooker?

Just admit you're being a handpump!!

Why all the hysterics?
It's only a bloody wedding...
OP I see your point re kids being tired etc. it sounds like the constant moving around you have had to do could well lead to your DCs feeling tired and unsettled. My DD was knackered when school broke up and is still shattered. And yes we have kept her pretty much in her bed time and routine.
I also get the not being able to speak to your DH! DP and I can spend weeks trying to discuss a plan and thrash out a solution!
Hope you and your chum can patch things up. If not, well, move on...

Glad you realise yabu. I have a 3 year old, I can't tell if he'll be tired tomorrow night hopes never mind 2 weeks time
As for DH's job. I assume this isn't a new job, that's he's often / periodically busy? Unless he is self employed them he should have had his leave booked when the invite came through. If he's self employed then you should have told your friend that you & DC will be coming and DH will be a maybe until nearer the time (assuming she could add him).
I'm surprised you haven't booked flights, regardless of normal availability - who would risk that?
I'm also surprised you haven't mentioned the outfits the 4 of you have got and that you've wasted £xxx on them
Those 2 things make me wonder if you really intended to go as a family at all?

As for the extension, we are having one soon. It's going to be a dirty nightmare and we are moving into my parents. It'll take 6-8 weeks and if I had the opportunity to escape my parents for just a few days away in that time is jump at the chance. It'll do us the world of good to have a mini break.
YABU and hopefully you've really realised that now.

Glad you are calling your friend - hope she can manage to forgive you. But you might have to be very, very, very apologetic for quite a long time...

We had our kitchen done earlier this year and managed to do it without house hopping and being exhausted. We would have welcomed a trip abroad at the end of it.

These weren't small renovations either. We had a main wall knocked through, the kitchen floor dug down 3ft, insulated, concreted, levelled, the whole of downstairs rewired thank you bodge job diy man who lived here before and completely fucked the electrics and put my childrens lives at risk (we had only one electric socket downstairs at one point), kitchen fitted and painted.

All with a 3yo and a 7 mo knocking about. The work took 2 1/2 months and yes, it was stressful, the dust was horrendous but if my good friend had invited us to her wedding at the end of it we would have gone. We definitely wouldn't have been looking for any spurious excuse not to go and would have welcomed an excuse to get away. And even if we didn't want to go, we would have made the effort, because, you know, she is such a good, long standing friend.

Op, yabvu and are a shit friend to boot.

Any update OP? Any chance the wedding hasn't happened yet and you can reverse your decision (if friend agrees?).
Hope you manage to smooth things over / your friend forgives you.