Screaming toddler next door what can we do....

[Crouchendmumoftwo]

Hello,

We live on a road with Victorian terraced houses. Our lovely neighbours who had 5 children have moved and a new couple have moved in with a 1.5 year old.
We havent slept for over a week since they moved in as their child cries on and off through the night and screeches and it wakes both of us up so 12 and then 3 in the morning and 6 in the morning. We are both exhausted. We have a 3 and 4 year old and are just getting our sleep back into order!
For some reason he seems to be in their bedroom and crying and we think that he is not being responded to immediately as the crying goes on and on. Also his screams are high pitched and really loud. We have had 5 kids next door with the youngest being 3 and we really didnt hear much so this is really ironic!
We also work from home and both hear him crying and screeching with his piercing voice throughout the day. I don't mind this so much it's just the lack of sleep at the moment. What would you do. I can't use earplugs unfortunately. We are at our wits end and exhausted from tiredness....
Thanks very much.

Of course, they have just moved so the toddler is going to be unsettled.

The parents absolutely LOVE the situation, so are not going to do anything to prevent it from continuing unless you remind them they should. Not sounding very likely? No, they are probably desperate for sleep themselves and their new neighbour having a dig may well tip them over the edge.

YABU!

The way you are talking about this child is awful. He's 18 months, a baby still. He's in their bedroom, so of course they're bloody trying to comfort him.

my daughter has the loudest scream you have heard.
my next door neighbours text me at 4am to say shes keeping us awake.

I offered her to come over and do it better. funnily enough she didnt come over. I also said we could try super nanny style, but to be warned she would cry constantly for hours on end, and funnily enough that wasnt good enough either.

leave her be, i assure she is feeling awful enough

isitmeor I came on here for the same reason haha

You could ask them nicely if he could sleep in the back bedroom if that might genuinely help. But I think you will need to try out more brands of earplugs. I found silicone ones much more comfortable. They sell them at Boots.

I'd love to listen to the conversation where you 'work through options' with them.

"how about you respond to him straight away?"
"we do, he doesn't stop crying"
"how about you deal with him in a different room"
"we do, you can obviously still hear him"
"oh"

It's them I feel sorry for...a miserable baby AND a miserable neighbour.

They actually look quite ok and not frazzled - weird! We on the otherhand are exhausted, sleep deprived and at our wits end, totally. There are 2 of then and its a 3 bed house, their room and the boy is next to ours. He doesnt look like a baby he is a little boy for the woman getting over sentimental about babies. We are destroyed, Im rubbing my eyes with tiredness now - arrrrrgh. Husband is going to buy earplugs as he has had 4 hours sleep last night. You would have thought 5 kids would have been the problem like the previous neighbours!

I think we are going to have to say something in a nice way if that is possible to work through options with them.

How patronising is that?

Can your dh not wear earplugs either? Have you tried the flat over the ear sort, they muffle sound rather than cut it out, but might not feel so umcomfortable to you.

Ds screeches during the day, because he is non verbal, and when frustrated lets out a really high pitched screech, it is his way of communicating, sometimes if he is tired or ill, it can go on for a long time.

Is it bad all over your house, or are there rooms where it is quieter than others?

yeah! go round there and make a frazzled family more frazzled! - that'll really help!

d'ya think THEY haven't noticed huh?

get a clue!

OP, go round and tell them their child is disturbing your sleep, that you are exhausted and how you've had not much else to do than work out all their sleeping arrangements, and that you are 'destroyed' by the fact their child can't sleep, im sure they'll understand

Stop compRing them to you're saintly old neighbours for all you know the reason their five kids were quiet isbecause they were gagged and bound.

If your so destroyed why can't you sleep downstairs or something?

Sure it's a shit solution but toddlers cry

I thought you said he was sleeping in the parent's room? But his bedroom is next to yours - so does tht mean parent's room isn't?

I know you are being nice, if i could wear earplugs I would.

Can you hear him if you were to sleep on the sofa down stairs yourself?

Probably!

Probably? But you haven't tried?

In that case I suppose it wouldn't make a difference if they took him downstairs or not.

Just a thought - could you sleep in a different room in your house? As others have said, they're probably doing their best and it's just a dreadful situation for all of you. We sleep in the smaller bedroom in our semi because there's less noise from the neighbours (not bad neighbours but DH has very sensitive hearing) and DH has put a thick layer of cheap polystyrene on our side of the wall in some rooms as well. Makes our rooms smaller but quieter!

did your neighbours introduce themselves when they moved in? I have to, 1-out of friendliness,2-out of nosiness (to see how approachable they are) and 3-I have to warn them as my 11yr old dc is autistic (and more) and is prone to screaming fits (i had a past neighbour call the police cos they thought i was abusing my child) and its very scary to hear the screaming fits for ANYONE, breaks MY heart when it happens. trying to move to a detratched especially. dc also gets extrememly agitated by neighbour noise so thats another reason. maybe your neughbours child is unwell, tho i agree with the mns that say the child needs to settle in. go round and invite them for a coffee, or if theres anything they need, usually works. good luck. x

these are the ones, ny friend uses them with her mp3 player playing very quiet music (her dh is a snorer).

Are you open to us suggesting that you and your husband try sleeping downstairs tonight yourselves to see if that helps?

www.boots.com/en/BioEars-Soft-Silicone-Earplugs-3-pairs_39424/

these are great- soft and squidgey, sit on the top of the inner ear not in canal and really block out noise. i used them when i had an extremely noisy neighbour who got drunk and had screaming fights with her boyfriend :)

What on earth do you expect them to do? Everyone makes noise of some sort at some point. I've lived in student accommodation, flats, terraced and a semi, and people make noise.

I can really imagine how knackered you must be, mine is a quiet family because I make them consider others, but this is a baby. He can't be told to behave! He can't help it, and neither can they.

thurnderbird5 thanks no they didnt introduce them selves at all! they are not the friendliest of people. But that doesnt matter I popped over with their post to say hi and was very friendly. they guy is not friendly at all is v odd.