To wonder whether a man can be raped?

[JazzAnnNonMouse]

I do not mean Anally.

Reading the thread about rape being any form of non mutual enthusiasm (although I can't seem to put it so eloquently, sorry). I think it has opened my mind to what rape actually is.
I was wondering therefore can a man be raped because they have to have some enthusiasm to gain an erection. (unless drugged I guess?)

Joyce McKinney without even looking it up -something about skiing down the Eiger with a flower up her nose?

I remember the case, I was 17 or so. Most of the papers seemed to think it was hysterically funny that a man was a sex slave and couldn't see an issue with the morality of it. Hopefully we've come further than that in the last 30 years.

I think seeker is asking if it is possible to tell if someone is dissociated. It sounds like something that should be evident, i guess by the person freezing or being very passive, but I don't know if that is how it shows up.

"Hopefully we've come further than that in the last 30 years."

Nope. (sorry for the daily heil link, but look at their comments section)
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2013870/Robber-broke-hair-salon-beaten-black-belt-owner-kept-sex-slave-days--fed-Viagra.html

Dissociation isn't always obvious ennis. I have been dissociated before while still laughing and talking. My dh tells me it's like watching a pretty good actor - i say all the right lines but the feeling isn't really there in my eyes. He knows instantly if i'm not right even if i say nothing.

Even if the tone of the story is not as mocking as it could be, would the daily mail ever leave the comments section open for people to joke about a woman being raped?

The tone of the comments from MrMiyagi's link are similar to those that are posted for news stories about female teachers that have sex with teenage boys.

"Good on him"
"I bet it was his parents that complained"
"I would have done better at school if she where my teacher etc."

These boys are also probably active in the sex as well so if the comments about "active" are correct they can't have been raped/sexually assualted.

Wow Cailin

TheDoctrineOfEnnis

I think seeker is asking if it is possible to tell if someone is dissociated. It sounds like something that should be evident, i guess by the person freezing or being very passive, but I don't know if that is how it shows up.

I don't think so. I think Seeker is trying desperately to ensure that rape remains a 'feminist' issue. The idea that men can be raped by women ruins the narrative that all men are rapists.

It brings to mind a programme I was listening to on the BBC World service a month or so ago, which was discussing the largely unreported incidence of male rape in the DRC during the civil war. The NGOs on the ground claim that male rape was almost non-existent. The NGO representative questioned (a woman) flatly denied that male rape had occurred, despite the reams of evidence to the contrary.

"I don't think so. I think Seeker is trying desperately to ensure that rape remains a 'feminist' issue. The idea that men can be raped by women ruins the narrative that all men are rapists."

I am doing nothing of the sort. As anyone who has actually read my posts could see.

"I don't think so. I think Seeker is trying desperately to ensure that rape remains a 'feminist' issue. The idea that men can be raped by women ruins the narrative that all men are rapists."

Don't be ridiculous

I don't think seeker has any motive; I think there is a misunderstanding of consent and possibly how a man's penis functions.

I would hope that one of the myths to be busted in this thread is that a man doesn't have to be "enthusiastic" to get an erection.

Nope. I do understand how a penis works.

I understand that an errection does not necessarily prove consent. A man being used as a dildo is an assault.

seeker Sat 25-Aug-12 07:18:43
But- and I'm sorry to be basic- surely the fact that as a man you are actually having piv sex would sort of imply consent?

Contrast with
I understand that an errection does not necessarily prove consent. A man being used as a dildo is an assault.

Yes it is.

DP awoke from a drunken stupor in his 20's to a girl manoeuvring herself in his penis. He had a girlfriend and was absolutely devastated and of course she didn't believe him because he had an erection.

It affected him negatively for a long time.

"actually having pic sex" is different to "being used as a dildo"

seeker
"actually having pic sex" is different to "being used as a dildo"

Wouldn't that depend on whether the PIV sex was forced/non consensual?

Well, obviously if the man was being forced by the threat of violence or something like that it would be an assault- I didn't think that needed saying.

Its a forum evrything needs explaining :)

Trills

Don't be ridiculous

I'm not. Re-read seeker's previous post, which I've quoted here:

"But, but, but.....and I expect people to be outraged by what I am about to say, I am incredibly wary of the issue being hijacked by men."

"There are constant attempts to do this with domestic violence- there are always people popping up saying "Men are victims too". Well, yes they are- but in general it's women who are on the receiving end."

"But we do need to be aware- there are powerful forces at work in the field of gender politics who do a disservice to both women and men."

Bolding mine.

How else could this post be read, except as an attempt to preserve rape as something only men are capable of? Any suggestion that women are capable of rape threatens the prevailing narrative in the female supremacist (I won't sully the word feminism by associating it with this thinking) worldview of Woman-As-Victim.

Selective quotation is a wonderful thing. Here is my post in full. Apologies for c&p.
"
"This is such a difficult subject. Yes of course men can be sexually assaulted, and it is unforgivable. And it would, I imagine, be practically impossible in the sort of cases described on this thread to get the law involved.

But, but, but.....and I expect people to be outraged by what I am about to say, I am incredibly wary of the issue being hijacked by men. There are constant attempts to do this with domestic violence- there are always people popping up saying "Men are victims too". Well, yes they are- but in general it's women who are on the receiving end. And in generql it's women who die or have their lives destroyed by DV. But there are people trying to make it look as if it's 50:50.

I don't really know where this thought is going, and I really don't mean any disrespect to the people who have shared their experiences here. But we do need to be aware- there are powerful forces at work in the field of gender politics who do a disservice to both women and men."

Posting in full doesn't make it sound any different. What do you mean by..

'there are powerful forces at work in the field of gender politics who do a disservice to women and men'

*to both women and men

Flatpckhamster's selective quoting left out any reference to me acknowledging the sexual abuse of men as a reality, and any reference to the fact that I was this through as I typed.

Which does rather change the meaning and pitch of my post.

You are of course fully aware of the "powerful forces" I mean.