to be baffled why so many parents automatically give their DCs the fathers surname?

[mackereltin]

It baffles me as women have come so far in the last century but the one thing that still seems to be very much the norm is giving the fathers surname to children. It doesn't seem to be questioned very much by society in general but for me it just seems to be one of the biggest symbols of patriachy. Or am I just going on? :)

I'm particularly thinking about married couples as I know lots of unmarried couples double barrell. I'm genuinely interested to hear peoples point of view on this - AIBU?

No Andie this is not how it works in Spain. Historically yes before 18th century children often had mother's names, but this is not the case currently. Traditionally the father's name comes first (although nowadays this can be changed) and children get the first of the 2 last names from either parent.
if Anna Fernandez Ramos and Jose Martinez Garcia have a son then the child would be called Martinez Fernandes and addressed as Senor Martinez, as that's dad's name.

Another common myth is that in Iceland, boys are called (Father's name)son and girls (Mother's name)dottir, Jonsson and Evasdottir for example. Not correct in most cases - (although possible), the kids of Jon and Eva would be Jonsson and Jonsdottir.

Interesting to note though that if you have a child in Switzerland and the parents are not married, the child will automatically get mother's last name.

And who ever thought Switzerland would lead the way in encouraging feminist behaviour!

All my kids took my name and then when I married DH six years ago he took my name too

Double barrelling isn't as complicated for the next generation as many people like to make out. You can keep your whole name, keep a part of it to join with another or even give it up.

HazleNutt I shall inform my Modern European History and Spanish lecturer of that fact immediately.

I took my husband's surname when I married as his is easier to spell than mine . So it followed that our son would take his surname too.

I took DH's name upon marriage, was very happy to. I really really think there are more important things to worry about.

But it's a thread about names and marriage.

Havent read the thread

I gave my DS my DHs surname and I took my DHs surname when I married him.

It it, therefore, not "his" name. It is our family name. I like that we all share it. We are 1 family with 1 name.

There are always more important things to worry about but that doesn't mean it isn't worthy of discussion. Personally I think issuse of identity are important.

The 'more important things to worry about' argument would lead to very few discussions in this world.

I'd actually like a computer side splurge gun to attack any poster who asks the HILARIOUS question: "What happens when people with double-barrelled names breeeed ?"

I know it shouldn't wind me up this much but it does. It's not that funny and (SHOCK) it's happened already, probably millions of times. People with two surnames have exactly the same options as everyone else. Give your child your name, the other parent's name, a combination of the two or something totally different like Twigbaby or Shitesalot.

I went to school with a Cuthbert Shitesalot.

No!

Yes Andie you should. Or you can inform Spanish Civil Registry that they are wrong:
www.registrocivil.gva.es/intranet/web/registrocivil/cambio-de-nombre-y/o-apellidos
La norma general es que el primer apellido de un español es el primero del padre y segundo apellido el primero de los personales de la madre

No, I lied. I felt we needed to lighten the tone, Elephants.

:o

Why would it be confusing if both parent had double barrel surnames? Just use the system used by the Spanish and give the children the first part of each parents surnames.

e.g. If Mr Johnson-Smyth had a child with Ms Wright- Jones the the children would be Johnson-Wright

I changed my name to DH's when we married. I like tradition, I wanted to be Mrs DH's name. Then when the kids came along they took our surname.

I don't see my name as a significant part of my identity. I am who I am and to me, my name is just a label someone else chose for me 36 years ago

I hate the implication that because I chose to take my DHs name I'm a sheep, or because DH is a dinosaur or would be emasculated by taking my name.

I'm a grown up with the ability to make decisions for myself. I wanted to become Mrs DH's name, so I did.

I'm a long time reader not member but I've joined just to comment on this.

My DH, DC and I all have the same name. I took his family name when we married. I was aged 18 then now aged 30 ( i think age is relevant to these discussions but not sure how).

It would never have occurred to me not to take his name as in marrying I was joining his family, we could have co habited and names would not have changed and any children would have been double barrelled.

I would like to say to the person who thinks young women taking husbands name "is very fucking sad" that i don't have an opinion on you changing or not changing your name. Changing my name at 18 did not make me any less me, it has not taken my identity.
I am and always will be me first, my children's mother second then equally my husband's wife and parent's daughter. That does not change whatever my nane may be.

Andie your lecturer seems to be rather confused between the Spanish naming convention and law and the Portuguese system which is the mother name first.

Anotherusefulname. Was he not joining your family too? And therefore could have taken your name. No difference.

Freddiefrog. Why do you think men do see their name as a significant part of their identity then? Why did you want to be mrs his name? What is gained from that.

So in answer to the OP, because it still apeears to be a widespread convention, but lots of people are realising that there are other conventions or possibilities that might suit them better, and all culture evolves.

Well I must be a Notorious Feminist Cowbag, because when I got married my entire family and group of friends said 'So are you keeping your surname?' i.e. assumed I almost certainly would. And I did.

Krumbrum - I don't know about other men. For me, my name isn't a significant part of my identity and I wasn't bothered about hanging on to it.

DH wasn't bothered either.

I like the tradition of taking my husbands name, so that's what I did. I don't care what other people do, I'm not 'baffled' by people who keep their name.

What's to be gained from it? Nothing. It was just something I wanted to do.