Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BBC interview with the mother who lost her son in Burnham at the weekend

201 replies

davinci · 21/08/2012 15:22

I can't believe that they interviewed her, she is clearly in a state of shock and should be left to mourn. The voyeuristic nature of the interviewer whose only goal appears to be to upset her even more for the benefit of his viewers made me ashamed to be watching. I can't see any justification for this type of interview

OP posts:
BlackberryIce · 21/08/2012 15:27

No, but if it saves some more lives this summer then it's been worthwhile.

The way she described the water and pointed it out certainly made me think a little. I would see that part of the sea and have thought it safe. I dint think that now though

Very Sad for all the family

Debeez · 21/08/2012 15:29

Poor woman is also on facebook defending her parenting as she's been accused of not watching her son closely enough. As if she and her family aren't suffering enough.

LookBehindYou · 21/08/2012 15:30

Very sad. A normal happy holiday day became a tragedy in an instant. His poor family must be shell shocked.

Original poster
davinci · 21/08/2012 15:32

oh I didn't see the Facebook thing, poor women. what has become of us that we can be so nasty collectively.

OP posts:
IHeartKingThistle · 21/08/2012 15:34

I thought the fb was a troll? Not actually her?

The whole thing is just awful Sad

Debeez · 21/08/2012 15:37

That's the problem with memorial pages on fb, there is no moderation and it attracts grief tourists who enjoy twisting the knife that little bit further. I do hope she doesn't feel pushed into the interviews in order to defend herself.

MsBrown · 21/08/2012 15:37

I felt the same after reading something about the grandparents this morning. It was basically them saying 'no comment', but the journalist had written it as 'the grandparents were too distraught to answer any of our questions', then proceeded to show a picture of the grandparents' flowers they had lain down. Terrible and insensitive invasion of privacy.

Water can be extrememly dangerous and i hope that this story - as tragic as it is - might educate more people on seaside hazards. My sister lives on an island in the North of Scotland and the part where the sand meets the water is a huge 5ft dip. There are no signs, and it looks completely flat, you don't realise there's a dip until you fallen.

My friend drowned when i was a teen. Absolutely horrific. The current was so strong it swept him under with a few seconds.

Debeez · 21/08/2012 15:38

Aw no IHeart, that's a new low. Impersonating a grieving mother. FFS.

bronze · 21/08/2012 15:39

So sad

Saw it on the local news last night

Can't believe she's being attacked
The way it was reported made it sound like a tragic accident

RIP little Dylan

drjohnsonscat · 21/08/2012 15:41

I sort of agree. Except that by watching her describe it and her son being less than 1 metre away made me realise how this sort of thing could happen to any of us. I couldn't quite visualise it before I saw the jetty on the TV and heard her describe him jumping and then slipping and the whirlpool. Now I understand and I will be more vigilant.

The poor, poor woman.

bronze · 21/08/2012 15:43

Not local news just news

It is a lesson to us all isn't it drJohnson. He was so close to them. It could happen to any of us

Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 15:47

I've just read about it online - she and her partner were both in the water to try and find him and had to be pulled out by other people because they wouldn't leave - it also said that the tides were such that he would have been swept away so quickly. What an awful tragedy, my heart goes out to them all. :(

janey68 · 21/08/2012 15:48

It's a terrible tragedy. But maybe the mother wanted the chance to have a voice, and tell it how it was.
There are so many vile people ready to jump on the bandwagon and accuse her of not watching him properly etc, so maybe for her, speaking out was better than staying quiet. It certainly highlights how quickly a terrible accident can happen, and I agree that if it helps just one parent to be extra aware of how dangerous the sea can be, then surely thats a positive thing.

ChickensArentEligableForGold · 21/08/2012 15:49

Awful, tragic accident. And to be so close and unable to save him...There aren't words for that, really :(

DowagersHump · 21/08/2012 15:52

I think it is a salutary reminder for many parents to be wary of the sea. I am surprised there aren't more tragedies, watching some of the laid back behaviour of some of the visitors we have here.

If you don't know the currents, the sea can be dangerous anywhere :(

DowagersHump · 21/08/2012 15:53

I'm not saying the parents were too laid back here, sorry if it came across that way.

JustTheRightAmountOfWrong · 21/08/2012 15:55

V distressing seeing a mother suffering such raw grief. The poor poor woman. You can see that she is still in shock and can't believe it. She looked like she was having an out of body experience.

Those who are critisizing her parenting should be utterly ashamed of themselves; as she said in the interview, Dylan was less than a metre away from her, she dived in after him and nearly drowned too.

I feel for her so much. It pained me to watch and it makes uncomfortable viewing.

BikeMedalsRunningMedals · 21/08/2012 15:56

I heard this on my way to Whitby with my nearly 4 yo son and baby DD. I have never watched them so closely. Was in the rare situation of there being more adults than children.

Thumbwitch · 21/08/2012 15:59

I'm fairly terrified of the sea/lakes. MIL lives on a large saltwater lake and has a jetty out into it - DS managed to fall off the jetty, luckily land-side of it (it's L-shaped) and DH was into the water immediately to pick him out; BUT if he'd fallen the other side it would have been harder to do. The water there is clear, there aren't rips but it is deep (deep enough to moor a boat) and there were several people on the jetty - still DS managed to fall off (actually I think he was trying to push past one of the other people on there when he went in). He was just 4 at the time.

When we go to the beaches, we have to be careful about jumping in and out of the waves on certain beaches too because of the rips, the enormous "suck" of some of the waves where the beaches shelve quickly; the sea is an enormously powerful beast and sometimes isn't given enough respect, not even by people who live by it and know it reasonably well.

Don't think any of that applies in this case though. Just trying to say that, even when you know the dangers, and you're careful, accidents can still happen and can end in tragedy.

LtEveDallas · 21/08/2012 16:05

Unfortunately that area has had its fill of tragedies. The tides at Burnham are horrendous, and the current unbelievably strong. The mud flats at Brean Sands are terrible as well. I am sure I can recall at least one incident a year where someone, generally a child, gets caught up in it.

There have been other deaths, and lots of near-misses. It's a lovely area but you have to be hyper-vigilant. We almost lost my brother when he was a kid. The tide comes in at a hell of a speed and its really easy to get caught up in it. He risked his life for a bloody blow up boat, my breath catches when I think about it.

What happened to this poor family is a terrible, terrible accident. When you think that he was probably no more than a few metres from the shoreline, but wasn't able to be saved. It beggers belief doesn't it? God I hope they are getting support - she should NOT have to defend her parenting FGS, this really is the sort of thing that could happen to anyone.

RIP Dylan.

BikeMedalsRunningMedals · 21/08/2012 16:12

Well said Dallas

The family didn't go out deliberately to come back without Dylan. Let them be, their demons will be with them for ever as it is.

DiscoDaisy · 21/08/2012 16:13

If only it was one incident a year LtEveDallas.
The emergency services quite often get called out to be people stuck in the mud at Brean throughout the summer and that's with signs telling of the danger being all over the beach there.
There was a little girl who died on the mud at Brean about 10 yrs ago and as a result there was fundraising for a hovercraft that was named after her.

islandofsodor · 21/08/2012 16:15

We were there a few weeks ago on the part of the beach by the steps next to the jetty

The currents looked terrible, it's really deceiving. The kids couldn't understand why we kept on at them to come back as the tide was coming in. They create a type of whirlpool.

At Nearby Weston we actually reported a drunken man who decided to lie down at the waters edge and have a sleep as the tide was coming in. The sand is like quicksand in places too

My blood ran cold when I saw it on the tv last night. Poor poor family but I can see how it happened.

Sparklingbrook · 21/08/2012 16:20

I have read somewhere today that the Facebook trolls have been up to things too. Sad

LtEveDallas · 21/08/2012 16:34

DiscoDaisy, sorry, yes you are quite right. I think what I mean was that I hear about at least one incident a year - I'm not from Brean/Burnham but have weekended down there since I was a kid. It was drummed into me from year dot that I NEVER went into the mud - and now I do the same to DD.

I remember Lelaina. She was lost around about the time that we started taking DSD to Brean with us. I wasn't used to being around children at that point and became too paranoid to let DSD out of my hands whenever we walked the dog in Berrow - she complained at the time, but I just couldn't get her mothers face out of my mind Sad.

It seems one of the hovercrafts used in the search for Dylan was the one named Spirit of Lelaina, bought with money raised in her memory.