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Original poster

BBC interview with the mother who lost her son in Burnham at the weekend

201 replies

davinci · 21/08/2012 15:22

I can't believe that they interviewed her, she is clearly in a state of shock and should be left to mourn. The voyeuristic nature of the interviewer whose only goal appears to be to upset her even more for the benefit of his viewers made me ashamed to be watching. I can't see any justification for this type of interview

OP posts:
DizzyBeeisSchoolShoeShopping · 21/08/2012 18:07

Yes, she's just hoping to find his body I think, poor woman.
I am the same Fred, thinking the best of people even when it's naive to do so

TandB · 21/08/2012 19:58

I had just the slimmest fraction of a glimpse into what it might feel like to lose a child a few days ago. I fell down the stairs carrying DS2 and flipped over on top of him meaning that I had to push him away or risk crushing him. He somersaulted through the air and landed upside down at the bottom of the stairs. Fortunately he was fast asleep and performed a perfect forward roll and was entirely unharmed, not least due to my wonderfully paranoid MIL's double piece of carpet at the bottom of the stairs, but at the second that I saw him hit the ground I thought his neck was going to be broken and that he would be dead before I could get to him. I had the most bizarre "well, that is that, it's all over" feeling. Not fright, not panic, just a flat, dead feeling like everything was ending.

It only lasted a few seconds until DS2 started crying, but I never, ever want to feel anything like that again. I cannot possibly imagine that feeling going on and on, and I wonder if the poor woman is willing to do anything, talk to anyone, cling onto even the most remote hope to avoid feeling that way, even for a few minutes.

I know that a few seconds of fear does not in any way equate to the actual loss of a child, but that feeling wasn't at all what I would have imagined feeling if I lost a child, which makes me wonder whether if it is ever possible to really understand the motivation and actions of someone who has gone through that.

Methe · 21/08/2012 20:03

This story has moved me so so much, it has played on my mind all day :( I feel so so so sorry for Dylans family. People really need to cut them some slack, they are grieving!

FutTheShuckUp · 21/08/2012 20:08

Sad kungfu thank the lord it wasn't. I wish it could be the way for everyone. Nobody should ever have to suffer losing their children

TandB · 21/08/2012 20:16

Me too. I have never been so happy to hear a baby crying. I hope people are sensitive enough to let that poor mother do whatever she needs to do to get through this.

BoreOfWhabylon · 21/08/2012 20:19

There was a thread about this yesterday. A MNer said it was her cousin's little boy.

RIP Dylan

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 21/08/2012 20:29

I think it's part of being human to hope beyond all possibility of hope. I'm sure that the mum knows that her little boy has drowned but until his body is found there will always be a shadow of a hope that somehow he survived and was washed up somewhere on shore. I really hope his body is found soon so that the family are spared that torture.

Until you're in that situation how could you possibly know how you would feel or what you would do? Judging a grieving parent because they don't conform to your idea of what you would do is low.

4boyzmum · 21/08/2012 20:47

Grief is an unbelievably personal issue. How one person grieves the loss of a child could be completely different to another parents way. It's definately not for anyone to judge, and who's to say whats right or wrong in this situation. Personally, my heart breaks for the little boys mother and father, DC3 is of a similar age and when i heard the news story i just wanted/needed to cuddle my little boy. I live by the sea and have done all my life. I loved the beach and sea when i was a child/teen but as a mum it terrifies me now in a way that i never imagined. The power of the sea is scary and even when it appears calm i just can't relax properly. TBH i prefer not to go, even tho i know im depriving the kids of a good time which i enjoyed freely as a youngster. A few years ago a whole family were swept off a slipway into the sea here. If i recall correctly one of the bodies were never found. Im praying that little Dylans body is recovered and the family will be able to bury their little lad.

postolympicblues · 21/08/2012 21:01

the mum had clearly agreed to the interview so why shouldn't they interview her.
Although i feel deeply deeply sorry for them all, I just some good can come of it ie other parents hold their child's hand near such dangerous water.

Methe · 21/08/2012 21:04

from my understanding she was holding his hand.

4Boyz I completely agree, I hope they get his body back to bury. I had to hold my little by too, he' be just the sort to fall of a jetty.. little boys being what they are.

McHappyPants2012 · 21/08/2012 21:04

Its a parents worse nightmare.

My thoughts are with the family at this devastating time

postolympicblues · 21/08/2012 21:13

She is reported as saying he was less than a metre away from her jumping up and down at the edge of the jetty and slipped Sad

postolympicblues · 21/08/2012 21:15

one thing to be thankful for is that the parents were rescued and his sisters not orphaned.

SoleSource · 21/08/2012 21:20

Kungfu you did brilliant :) I know that feeling, believe me I do.....

The sea is deadly. This is why it is so impottant to hold a childs hand at all times and teach them this.

Northernlurkerisonholiday · 21/08/2012 21:40

I always think I'm paranoid by the edge of water or steep drops. I ho;d hands, keep dcs away (when young) and generally flap a bit. Quite pleased to be like that tbh.

Nibledbyducks · 21/08/2012 22:52

I live a few miles down the coast from Burnham. It's very close to home for us, and never a year passes without someone being trapped by the tide and needing rescue that thankfully usually gets there in time.
I just wish that there was more information about the dangers of the sea, we have a harbour here and I've never taken my children along the wall without holding their hands until they've reached at least 7 because I know how dangerous it is.
Please don't think that was a criticism of the boys parents, it really wasn't, I just think it's heartbreaking Sad . Having said that there are equally always tourists who walk in dangerous places and ignore us when we tell them it's not safe, I wish it didn't take tragedies like this to make people think.
Sorry, not the most coherent post but it's so upsetting and all I can think of is all the ignorant parents I see walking out onto mud flats with young children thinking it's funny when we try to warn them, and then this poor family do nothing wrong and have this to deal with Sad

oopsi · 22/08/2012 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MrsKwazii · 22/08/2012 19:12

Many accidents are avoidable oopsi, it doesn't make them any less tragic. This family deserve sympathy, not opprobrium.

As for the the interview, perhaps the Mother wants to warn people about the danger - with something this awful you sometimes want to try to make a positive from the most awful negative and save others from finding themselves in a similar situation. Poor woman and the rest of the family.

missymoomoomee · 22/08/2012 19:14

All accidents are entirely avoidable if you wrap your children in cotton wool and never go anywhere or do anything. The little lad slipped, it could have happened to anyone ffs. Oopsi you are absolutely heartless.

FutTheShuckUp · 22/08/2012 19:16

Oh sod off Oopsi. Unless you were there how the hell do you know what happened? Idle gossip and speculation- but dont let that get in the way of villifying someone whos already in the worst place possible. There by the grace of god hey....

oopsi · 22/08/2012 19:18

No i am not heartless. This isn't a condolence book or a support thread for grieving parents- it is a debating forum.
It could have happened to anyone?
Would anyone on tghis thread really not hold a 4 yr olds hand so close to water especially if he was jumping up and down ? That isn't being overprotective that is normal fundamental basic safety awareness.

janey68 · 22/08/2012 19:18

Yes that is a really heartless hateful thing to post oopsi

None of us were there, so how do we know exactly what happened? Children can slip, trip, stumble, things happen in a split second. It could have been an adult who stumbled and fell.

What about the poor girl and her grandfather drowned in Portugal- I suppose they were being negligent by walking on a bloody beach?

Very many tragic accidents are 'there but for the grace of god...'
Trying to convince yourself the parents were at fault is a classic sign of being scared to face the reality that any child who LIVES a life rather than being wrapped in cottonwool is vulnerable

oopsi · 22/08/2012 19:19

'how the hell do you know what happened? Idle gossip and speculation'

no-the mother's own lips!!

Don't get me wrong I am very very sorry for the little boy and for his parents.They will have to live with that forever Sad

LemarchandsBox · 22/08/2012 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oopsi · 22/08/2012 19:23

His mother said was at the edge of the jetty jumping up and down, slipped and fell in.
If you think that the alternative to not a pre-schooler letting do that is wrapping in cotton wool, then you have a lot to learn about parenting

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