to make my husband promise not to take coke at a party.

[merryplopppins]

Longish story will try to keep it brief.

My husband very occasionally indulges in a few lines of coke at parties. In my younger days I also did (bearing in mind this was pre kids) However, I feel that at 40 years old, he really ought to knock this kind of thing on the head. I am especially concerned as he has recently been under investigation for palpatations. I work in the medical field and I know how dangerous it is to mix alcohol with cocaine, in my opinion he would be completely irresponsble risking a heart attack when we have two small children to consider.
We spoke at length about this tonight, or rather i did. I gave him a long lecture and made him promise he would not take anything. To which he replied "well I won't buy any" This of course means he will have some if there is some going around.

Anyway now he is hardly speaking to me as we had a huge row about me trying to control what he does etc. etc. I am sure you can imagine.
Well AIBU???? Cos i bloody well don't think so!

Guess I don't read that stuff...

That is a valid point, a huge percentage of parents go out regularly and get drunk enough to have a hangover.

If OPs main problem is her DHs 'heart problem', as yet undiagnosed, I think she will just have to trust that her husband wouldn't put his life in danger.

I'll say it again: sudden death.

"you gave him a long lecture". The sure fire way to make a grown man do exactly what you don't want him to.... You are not his Mother, and you are controlling if you spoke to him like this.

Unfortunately he is acting like the child. He may be fully grown physically but he seems to have stunted growth mentally and emotionally.

I may be a lone voice here. Yanbu to be pissed off. However assuming it is a rare occurrence, and assuming that he's not off partying every weekend then I would personally let it pass.

Hes a grown man and can make his own choices. He's unlikely to have a heart attack and, whilst illegal, not equivalent to crack cocaine or heroin. If you used to do it yourself then keep that in perspective.

I would just refuse to go with him unless he makes the promise.