to want a national "Deadbeat Dad" register?

[bogeyface]

Inspired by another thread and my response to it.

So many of us get royally screwed by these twats. So if you end up getting your maintenance being taken from your wages because you refused to co-operate then you go on the DBDR.

Yes yes, I know it wouldnt really work, but AIBU to wish it could be done to save other women from getting involved with these twats?

And this thread isn't about those ones is it?

Oh, Amber, we always have to have a little chat about how hard things are for men, even when the stats show a huge majority of women suffering we ALWAYS have to diversify into how men are affected. It's internet law.

You said 'he should pay, every single time, without exception'

Sorry I must have read that incorrectly.

All about the menzzzzzz.

eh? If a man is in a shared care agreement or has full care for the child then he is paying, isn't he?

Blimey. This isn't complicated stuff I'm talking about here, it's all rather simple and easy to follow!

It is not rocket science.

It takes two to make a baby. If a man or a woman does not want a child, then they are responsible for their own contraception.

If they do not protect themselves, or the contraception fails (a risk that they have to assess each and every time they have sex) then they share the responsibility for that child.

Financially and emotionally.

I know Shirley! Cue lots of posts about bitter exes

Denise34

"I wish there was a male contraceptive pill, it would make the country such a better place to be."

The thread on here the last time that this was brought up showed that most women on the thread wouldn't trust their husband/partner/boyfriened to take it.

STBExH husband is a good dad, really not such a great husband, so not sure the register will protect the unwary who fall into his clutches.

Are DBD fairly easy to spot - spend no/little time with their kids/don't pay CM/ bad-mouth their dcs' mother?

I think we need a more reversible (maybe chemical?) vasectomy, at an appropriate age all boys could be vasectomised and then when they feel ready to become parents they could have it reversed.

Alamenda

I think that you have left a "LoL" or smiley off your post.

shirley I really admire your stamina in the face of some of the posts on this thread!

All the usual cliches about blaming women have been trotted out, I see, from women 'rushing into having babies with virtual strangers', 'tricking' men', etc.

It just beggars belief.

Tsk, Alameda, no need for all that chemical nastiness. Bumsex.

[tongue firmly in cheek]

[of the facial kind]

Olympic I do like the idea of the boys having more bumfun with one another but hope the traditional minge/schlong stuff doesn't die out.

I think too many people rush into having children without really knowing a person which means the relationship eventually breaks down. I have seen psts on here wher six months is classed as long enough to be serious.

Register is a bad idea, lts of mums dont contribute financially to their children either and let the state do it so women and well as men dont pay.

Would we be on the deadbeat register for falling pregnant at five months then?

Although we are now six years down the line, married and madly in love with another dc?

Guess I didn't marry a deadbeat. No fault of mine, he could have turned out to be an idiot. He still could. Or so could I. We can only be responsible for our own behaviour, surely?

Even if there was such a register, many would still believe the man's excuses.

Birdsgottafly
"Even if there was such a register, many would still believe the man's excuses."

If there was a register, it wouldn't matter what the excuses/reasons where, because the crateria for being on the register would be set.

The problem is what exactly would you do with the information and how would that be enforced?

happy brilliant you have tried to turn this into benefit bashing

Boney, the purpose of the register would be to warn potential partners, but very few people believe what they are told about new 'loves'.

Excuses are made and believed, about the circumstances.

Birds

I thought that bogey wanted something similar to the american version of this where absent parents could be tracked down and have money taken from accounts, houses and items they own sold to pay for their DC if they don't they are then put in prison.

Actually the CSA have some interesting powers in this country as well, including the suspension of driving licenses and passports.

shirley do you have any figures on when they actually use those powers? it would be intresting reading i expect.

Alameda you mean a safe, cheap, 100% effective, reversible vasectomy? it exists

I have spent some time looking for that information but I think it's a bit difficult to find, possibly down to the DPA maybe.

I happen to know that non payers who just flat out refuse to pay or respond to letters or whatever DO get taken to court and liability orders are taken out which then leads to bailiffs. If the bailiffs get nowhere then decisions are made on further action, which can include custodial sentences.

i think the differculty is that lots of nrps (the differcult ones) move repeatedly to evade them or dely stuff by not sending everything there ment to when they should and if faced with a large bill just go on benefits so they then get assesed at £5pw no matter how many kids and arrears can only be taken at £1pw. someone who has say 8k arrears but is now on benefits (not just proper means tested ones)and has done it intentionally to avoid payment could be paying £6pw for say 3 kids but according to the figures there payers and not evaders iyswim? perhaps thats why.