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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you have sex when on a period

252 replies

NoSex · 13/08/2012 19:54

My dh will not have sex with me when i am on a period, I respect that it make him feel grossed out, but I am on for 5-7 days which is IMO a long time with out sex :(

Aibu to think a grown man should not be freaked out by a bit of blood

OP posts:
MakeHayNotStraw · 14/08/2012 16:30

Gaah -overkeen, not overseen

Krumbum · 14/08/2012 16:33

Obviously most men are aware that women have periods! But not how much blood, how heavy, how sanitary protection works, pms, pain, irregularity etc.
I'm actually squeamish about blood from a cut, because it means someone is hurt, but period blood isn't the same, its natural and healthy not a sign of a wound.

Spuddybean · 14/08/2012 16:34

I also find the blood an opposite to lubricant. I have been quite sore, as have my partners, from the chaffing and almost granular quality of the blood.

Someone said earlier that they just remove the tampon just before and hop on, but i would be way too dry to do that and any blood actually makes me feel drier as it doesn't have that sticky, slick, lubey quality.

Krumbum · 14/08/2012 16:35

If you were aroused though Spuddybean you'd still have that lubricating you?

garlicnuts · 14/08/2012 16:36

I'm a woman and women's bodies bleed. I may be a little OTT, but any man who won't have sex with me while my body's bleeding is not sufficiently interested in me as a woman. I've felt this way since I started having sex - and only one-night stands have got away without being bloodied! I feel a lot more 'animal' when I'm on and never had any complaints. Possibly because they feared being torn limb from limb.

I'm going to have to re-think this when I get back in the saddle. Periods seem to be catching up with menopause at last, so I may not be having many more! Oh, joy!

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2012 16:37

It's still blood though Krumbum and lots of people are grossed out by other people's blood.

I think some people here are taking the fact it's menstrual blood a little personally or perhaps seeing it as something to 'man up' about.

Blood is blood to many people and they just don't like it no matter where it comes from.

garlicnuts · 14/08/2012 16:38

YY, Krumbum, I've known a shocking number of men think periods last a few hours, every 28 days. Some of them were married Confused

wankpants · 14/08/2012 16:41

My own period grosses me out. It isn't the blood, it's the clots and mucus too. And when it's slowing down so it's more brown when it comes out. The fact I constantly need a shit and am in agony doesn't help me feel sexy either! And the spots, and the mood swings. And the blimp like feeling.

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2012 16:42

When I was 7 or 8, I heard my sister mention to her friend that she was due on at the weekend.

I piped up with, "Oh really, what time? If you're not due before 1pm you can come swimming" Grin Blush

Spuddybean · 14/08/2012 16:43

But you dont krumbum because the tampon has absorbed that and you've just whisked it out.

Spuddybean · 14/08/2012 16:45

garlicnuts a bloke i worked with said women were lazy and liked milking periods otherwise why didn't we just go to the loo and 'wee it out' Confused

Krumbum · 14/08/2012 16:47

I do think fair one if a guy doesn't like it, but they don't need to go on about it being disgusting, that's just insulting. I hate spunk, don't want it on me or in me but I don't tell guys they are gross because they jizz.
I reckon if we were more open about periods though less men would be disgusted by it which would be better all round.

Krumbum · 14/08/2012 16:48

Spuddybean that is hilarious!
Ive met so many men that think we wee out of our vaginas!

5madthings · 14/08/2012 16:51

doesnt bother myself or dp, for the first day or so i am heavy and uncomfortable but after that i find as others that a good orgasm can help.

ditto using tampax and then doing non penatrative sex, dp is also happy to perform oral.

it does depend tho as sometimes i feel very tender and almost bruised? when i get my period, tho i have discovered that if a use tampax pearl rahter than the cardboard applicator tampons then this its much better, no bruised feeling.

each to their own i guess :)

oh and when i did sex ed at school the girls went of for a special 'period' talk and we got little 'goody' bags with towels, tampons etc in them. the boys had no info about periods at all! my eldest two boys 12 and 10 have done some sex ed at school and were taught about periods, tho they have seen tampax etc in the bathroom and know about them anyway.

Arabellasmella · 14/08/2012 16:59

Not for me. When I used to be on the pill I was keen on sex during the off period days. But now i'm not, no. I'm either really crampy and achy during first couple of days and aftre that I get the brown stuff - which actually feels a bit burny to me when it comes out. So, no, none going on here.

loopylou6 · 14/08/2012 17:05

Yes, we do, but I'm aghast at oral whilst on. Urgh just Urgh. in my defence tho, I'm very clotty and heavy so down there is like a scene out of Hostel, I really wouldn't allow my dh to put his mouth down there

Spuddybean · 14/08/2012 17:10

but loopylou - what if you had a tampon in so no blood would be coming out? I don't understand why oral is bad if you use tampons.

5madthings · 14/08/2012 17:14

what spuddy said, use a tampon, not a problem.

tbh tho i am happy with a tampon but if a couple are happy to have oral sex without a tampon then thats up to them as well, not for me but meh doesnt bother me what others do.

doublevodkaandcoke · 14/08/2012 17:14

I have led a sheltered life. I thought the answer to this question would be a resounding NO! And as for oral.........?!

minipie · 14/08/2012 17:14

Yes but only on the lighter days at start and end. Not during the horrible crampy bloaty middle days.

I do give DH a bit of warning though, otherwise he can be a bit shocked when he sees blood and thinks he's hurt me (I did go through a phase of painful sex Sad nothing to do with periods though). Also it means he gets up afterwards and goes to the bathroom to rinse instead of getting blood on the sheets.

I certainly don't think it's disgusting and would be a bit Hmm at any man who thought it was. I'd especially be Hmm Hmm Hmm at any man who was willing to have anal sex but not period sex.

GreenPetal94 · 14/08/2012 17:14

Why else would I own a small red towel? Its not one I use as a hand towel!

If your partner works away it is not always just a matter of waiting 5 days, I'm happy to have sex as long as I don't have period pain.

minipie · 14/08/2012 17:15

I don't understand why oral is bad if you use tampons

Erm doesn't the string get in the way??

Vagaceratops · 14/08/2012 17:18

I think my DH would faint.

He cut his finger on an envelope the other week and he went all light headed. He actually fainted when I was in labour with DD. This Doctor was trying to get a canula in my hand and there was a lot of blood.

BarredfromhavingStella · 14/08/2012 17:21

Lol minipie was thinking the same thing!!! Even if you tucked it away would still be possibility of it hanging down-V attractive i'm sure Hmm No, just no.

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2012 17:23

I need to stop opening this thread while waiting for my dinner to cook!

I'm thankful it's not tomato soup...but ironically it is toad in the hole.