to think sitting in a pub, drinking alone is quite a sad thing to do

[dryu]

Me and DH went out to a pub yesterday afternoon and in the pub there were at least 8 men sat at tables on their own drinking. I've noticed this before and you never see women doing this and I think its quite sad to just be sat there drinking on your own. DH disagrees though and says that maybe they just enjoy a quiet Pint or two. AIBU?

As an avid people watcher, I don't need a book to go to a pub alone Lunatic.

If I see a pub I like the look of, I go to the bar, order whatever I feel like imbibing, and sit wherever there's a seat - which may be at the bar or at a table in the middle of the room.

Well-kept hanging baskets/window boxes/tubs outside tend to lure me in but, if I'm need of alcholic refreshment, I don't have any aversion to dropping into obviously spit and sawdust dives.

I also dine alone in swanky restaurants and cheap cafes but, Hard Rock Cafes excepted, I avoid burger chains and other fast food establishments at all times.

Love going to pub alone

And cinema too

In fact, anything alone

Yabu

I want to do things alone.

But I don't want to be lonely.

I am single, unpleasant split where many people in my village have an opinion/judgement/awareness of who/what/when/where/why, although the judgement on the xp is the negative judgement.

I guess I just don't want to look like a sad lonely person with no friends.

And it wouldn't be morally right for me to drive to a neighbouring village and drink alcohol.

:(

Maybe I should make it one of my aims for the week to wander to the riverside pub with a book, order a burger and a pint and sit and watch the world go by...

Do it Haunted! It's really lovely and relaxing. You won't look like a sad lonely person with no friends. You'll look like a confident woman who doesn't need someone with them 24/7 in order to have a pleasant time. Sorry to hear you've had a break up recently.....I think spending some time by the river relaxing/reading/watching the world go by will do you the power of good

I do this all the time. But I don't stay on my own for long, someone usually turns up.

I know other bitchy women think it's sad, but they also think it's sad that I am single, despite being told that it's by choice. Never met a man that thinks I'm sad, only women desperate to hang into the status quo.

Some of us like our own company.

When on a team work trip recently, normally travel alone. After three days of spending about 18 hours a day with these people (who in the main I like), our first free time I ran away. They did a group trip, I wandered around alone, in a city I love, had lunch in a little place that one of the locals recommended, and just enjoyed.

When we all met later, they all bitched about crowds, prices etc I sat serene and calm.

I'm not brave enough to do this but love a glass of wine and would dearly love an hour to myself. Can see the appeal .

I went to the pub alone last night. I fancied a pint. Later I'm going to starbucks with my kindle. It's called housework avoidance

No, not at all.
I was in a pub with other people yesterday and there were loads of people sitting alone inside. When I went in to get drinks I chatted to them and they were very friendly. But obviously quite happy with their own company.

I love going to food places on my own....I can read, not have to listen to eating sounds (v. sensitive hearing- I wear earplugs at the table), people-watch, be as cheap as I like....

I absolutely love going to the pub on my own. Been doing it since I was 19. With a book or the paper, natch.

Some people just like their own company. In fact, I had a very good friend, my housemate in fact, who used to go to the same cafe as me for lunch when we were at uni. We had a deal that we would just smile at each other then sit down at our separate tables and read our separate books. We'd spend the whole evening out together quite happily, we both just enjoyed a bit of peace & quiet between lectures.

I quite like going for lunch on my own, read a paper, bliss.

Had not realised I could be object of pity.

But that does not worry me

Its clearly a thing a lot of people like to do and I'm sorry if anyone was offended by my OP or thought it was patronising.

Cheers, OP

I probably wouldn't go to the pub on my own, because men would come up to me. It's just too annoying.

I go out for lunch all the time on my own though.

yellowraincoat are you Samantha Brick ?

My lovely looks have RUINED MY LIFE.

No, I don't mean it in an arrogant way, but I think some men see young(ish) woman and think "oh I'll go and chat to her" especially in a big city.

And my lovely looks, obviously.

Ah I love doing things on my own - no one to answer to, no compromise on what to do, where to go or when to leave. I am a bit of a grumpy cow though :o

I used to love wandering into a pub on my way home from work, with a book, and having a quiet half and a good read. This was 20 yars ago though, so apparently the only reason I could possibly be in there would be to pick up some twat . Why do some men not understand "no thank you, I'm reading"?

Well, I read this thread yesterday and had it in mind this morning.

DD had drama and this is the first week she hasn't wanted me to stay in the theatre.

So I decided that I was going to go and have a coffee, on my own headed to Costa, ordered a large latte and took one of the newspapers to read.

Didn't feel nearly as self-conscious as I thought I would. Relaxed, read the paper then back to pick up DD.

Only thing though - and mindful of another thread on MN. I was lucky to get a seat, as it was packed - and I had no-one to "bagsie" the seat for me. How do others manage that?

Oooh AmIthatbad
That's a whole other thread
You really, really don't want to start one, do you.

I absolutely love having time alone like that - it rarely happens but if those chaps in the pub were anything like me they would be sitting there cutting a lonely figure while their toes curled with absolute pleasure.

YABU

I remember once I did this nearly 15 years ago (!) and the local gob-on-legs decided I couldn't possibly want to be alone and talked at me for over an hour while I tried to hint I wanted him to get lost - I am still angry at him for spoiling my afternoon. These days I would just tell him to get lost.

LadyBeagle no, I really don't want to

It actually made me laugh to myself that one little trip to the coffee shop could have relevance to so many MN threads

i need to get out more

YABU. As with most posters, sitting in a nice pub - or cafe or wine bar - taking time for myself is a real treat to me.

I work f-t and have my lunch on my own most days in a cafe near work; I love disappearing for 40 minutes and reading my kindle while I eat a sarnie and drink a coffee. Is the difference that you don't like being drinking alcohol alone, not coffee?

When I was (much) younger I worked in all sorts of local pubs, real 'old-man's pubs' as they were dubbed. And yes, there were some sad, lonely old men propping up the bar every night, nursing their pints and making sad, cynical jokes to each other. They were usually older (over 50 at least), single and unlikely to meet a woman. And yes, I felt some pity for them, although they did have a camaraderie with each other, although they only ever bought their own pints! There were also the usual men (usually of the same generation) who did have a wife and home but who went to the pub every night out of habit. I often pitied the wife in that case, but I don't know any couples of my generation where one of them drinks in the pub on their own every night.

There's a big difference between someone escaping the rat race and a busy life for a bit of sanctuary and me-time in a classic British pub, enjoying a nice cold beer or glass of wine and a read of the paper without disturbance, and those old geezers sadly propping the bar up and eking out their coppers on half pints for decades at a time.