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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think sitting in a pub, drinking alone is quite a sad thing to do

181 replies

dryu · 10/08/2012 12:16

Me and DH went out to a pub yesterday afternoon and in the pub there were at least 8 men sat at tables on their own drinking. I've noticed this before and you never see women doing this and I think its quite sad to just be sat there drinking on your own. DH disagrees though and says that maybe they just enjoy a quiet Pint or two. AIBU?

OP posts:
Babyrabbits · 10/08/2012 13:21

Yabu

Its ok to do this, i used to do stuff on my own ( bliss) before children. I went to the cinema alone also.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 10/08/2012 13:24

YABU.
I'm perfectly happy within my own company and if it weren't for the ever present children could gladly sit with a drink and the paper on my own. The bliss of no-one badgering me for anything! :)

TinkerBellaFlora · 10/08/2012 13:25

To a certain extent it depends on the circumstances as to whether yabu but I am another who will happily pass the time by myself with a glass of wine at a pub. Have no shortage of pals who would join me, and DH always game, but it is lovely taking a moment just for yourself to read a book/magazine/people watch. Not so much since DD was born, which makes it all the more pleasurable when I do get chance. The thought of anyone feeling sorry for me whilst doing this is quite amusing ...

EmpressOfTheSevenFlames · 10/08/2012 13:26

YABU. I used to drop DD at Scouts, then spend a lovely hour in the nearby Costa with a large mocha, the evening paper & NO COMPANY. I could just as happily have spent it with a pint of bitter.

YANBU only if they're not alone through choice & you don't know that.

LST · 10/08/2012 13:30

Yabvvvvu

RevoltingPeasant · 10/08/2012 13:33

YABVU and quite sad yourself.

When I first started a job after my PhD and had actual money I used to go to the pub on the way home from the station on my longest teaching day with a nice novel. Bliss bliss bliss. No students emailing (that was before smartphones), no one talking to you, just a quiet hum of background noise, a few friendly faces, and a nice quality pint and the chance to read something non-work-related.

Other than going to the gym, it's the only real 'me' time I get. Sadly drive to work now and can't do it anymore.

chickensaresafehere · 10/08/2012 13:38

Went to the pub on my own this week after a late osteopath appointment,sat there with a pint of real ale & revelled in the peace away from dc's & rabbiting dhWink

I'm another one who loves her own company too,I often wonder if it's because I'm an only child?!?

TheDoctrineOfEnnis · 10/08/2012 13:48

YABU. I quite often go for a walk at the end of the day once the kids are finally in bed, clears my head nicely. I sometimes stop at the pub for a drink on the way back for a bit more headspace - if I am in the house I can't stop seeing the chores even if I'm ignoring them, but I can't see them from the pub!

amillionyears · 10/08/2012 13:51

All depends whether they are lonely or not.

fruitysummer · 10/08/2012 13:56

I sit on my own in the pub,

done it twice this week already has it happens.

I was waiting for DH to finish work as we car shared but I'd still go for a pint/glass of wine *delete as applicable on my tod if I fancied it

so YABU

AbsolutelyNotHoneyDragon · 10/08/2012 14:00

I have done this since my teens. My father always used to stop for one on his own too.

If I'd had a long day at work I'd stop for a beer before I went home. It's nice.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/08/2012 14:02

That's brought back memories honey - my grandpa when I was little used to take me for walks and in winter, we'd go to the pub and he'd have a sherry and I'd have lemonade. It was his routine.

It's a nice memory and a nice habit, to have something you do to help you factor in some alone time before going home.

AbsolutelyNotHoneyDragon · 10/08/2012 14:06

I used to do that with my Dad Smile long walk with the dog on a Saturday afternoon then a Bitter for him and a Lemonade for me on the way home.

My Dad loved it when I won my University scholarship and moved back in with them as we used to meet at the village pub for 6pm after we'd both finished work. Then my Mum would give us this face Hmm when we both got fidgety at about 10.30pm and we'd nip up for last orders and have a pint too Grin

AbsolutelyNotHoneyDragon · 10/08/2012 14:08

LRD is it odd we both grew up in an environment where light drinking was normalised and as adults neither of us drink as adults?Confused

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/08/2012 14:08

Aw, that sounds lovely! Smile

It's funny how much ritual there is to these things. If I go and sit in a cafe on my own with a pot of darjeeling, I am straight back with my granny ... if I'm in the pub on my own, I'm thinking of my grandpa.

AbsolutelyNotHoneyDragon · 10/08/2012 14:09

Well I don't drink alchohol. I drink Becks Blue in the pub now Grin

ShatnersBassoon · 10/08/2012 14:10

YABU. I have sat in pubs on my own loads of times. It's not much different to sitting in Starbucks on your own, but you can have a reasonably priced cold drink and a bag of reasonably priced crisps in a pub.

Sitting day after day getting drunk on your own is sad, but having one drink in peace is something everyone would enjoy if they tried it.

cerf · 10/08/2012 14:10

YANBU in a pub near me they show the horse racing channels and its full of men watching it and reading the Racing Post, the bar staff have to watch their pints whilst they go to the bookies across the road to place their bets. It seems a very strange way to spend your time.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/08/2012 14:10

Oh, sorry, I cross posted!

Yes, I am aware there's a (big, in my case) down side to it.

I think probably it didn't do me any good that there was so much casual drinking around me when I was a child.

But, I also think that this doesn't necessarily mean that for other people, a solitary pint is any worse than a solitary cup of tea or coffee. Sometimes we all need a bit of time and space to ourselves and ordering a drink in a cafe or a bar is a way to mark out that time, whereas if I'm at home, I sit down with some tea and a million things interrupt me!

CaptainHetty · 10/08/2012 14:12

YABU. After a difficult/stressful day the thought of sitting on my arse somewhere quiet, with a nice drink and my phone off so nobody can bother me, is quite frankly blissful.

oliup · 10/08/2012 14:21

YABU they are adults and are free to do what they wish. Who cares if they are watching betting on the horses as well, in fact it sounds like a good idea from pubs to get some customers in during the day when its quiet.

As for the OP save your pity for someone who wants it because I almost guarantee that these men don't.

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea · 10/08/2012 14:22

I may just pop out for a quick glass of something cold and dry.
On my own.

glastocat · 10/08/2012 14:33

It sounds bloody lovely,in fact I wish I was in the pub garden with a good book and a glass of wine right now. And if anyone sees me and my husband in the pub not talking to each other, do not feel sorry for us! We will be reading the papers in perfect bliss.

mayorquimby · 10/08/2012 14:40

The pub with my dog and nobody bothering me is fucking bliss

5madthings · 10/08/2012 14:42

YABVU, i dont do it often, but sometimes if i am in town i will go to a pub and have a cold drink, or if its cold weather i will go to a cafe, i take a book or a read a magazine or paper and i just enjoy the relative peace compared to the mayhem at home with 5 children

i have done it since i was old enough to have a drink and i quite enjoy my own company.

i also go out with friends or dp and have a very nice time as well, but sometimes a quiet drink on my own is just what i need.

infact during the summer whenever i walk past a pub with a nice garden i always feel very envious of those sitting out in the sunshine enjoying the peace and having a drink on their own, now if only there was some kind of storage facility outside the pub for my children i would be doing the same thing!