to think sitting in a pub, drinking alone is quite a sad thing to do

[dryu]

Me and DH went out to a pub yesterday afternoon and in the pub there were at least 8 men sat at tables on their own drinking. I've noticed this before and you never see women doing this and I think its quite sad to just be sat there drinking on your own. DH disagrees though and says that maybe they just enjoy a quiet Pint or two. AIBU?

I worked in a town centre chain pub for six years (think Wetherspoons but not). Every day the same solitary men would be waiting outside the doors for us to open. They would then sit on their own, drinking slowly but steadily, for my whole shift. Not reading the paper, not talking to anyone. I used to want to MAKE them all sit on one big table and give them a box of dominoes or something!
I do love to sit by myself, have a pint or two and read the papers but it's not the same as making it the only thing you do with your days.

Sounds lovely.

I often go and have a coffee by myself. Take time out, read a crappy magazine the Times and just enjoy being out, watching the world go by. Part of what makes it so nice is relaxing and having nobody talk to me

I don't think sitting in the pub is any different, really.

A grown up sat in a pub having a pint good for them I say wish I had the bloody time.

You see someone alone in the pub and think it's 'sad'...

You're looking at a small snippet of their life. How on earth do you know that's they're lonely?! They might go out with their friends 3 times a week and enjoy a quite pint by themseleves every so often also!

I love doing things by myself, I have friends who I could go out with more sure, but I like my own company. You sound a tiny bit insecure OP

I've always wished old ladies could go and have a quiet pint by themselves. I like a nice pint and would like to do this when I'm older. I'm sure I'd just get funny looks though.

I used to travel a lot with work and would often have a drink on my own after work, after which I would go to dinner on my own. Far less sad than sitting in a hotel room on my own all night IMO. I am about to go on holiday by myself, whilst dh looks after the kids for a week, he will do the same next year. I am a confident enough person to enjoy my own company, safe in the knowledge that I also have plenty of mates/family to socialise with when I choose to.

YABU
when I went back to work after having dd1, I used to occasionally meet up with an old school friend for dinner.

he didn't finish work until seven, and i was normally done at 5, as I was used to doing the nursery run. instead of working late, i would head over to a pub near his office, buy a large glass of chablis, and sit silently doing the Private Eye crossword for an hour and a half. TBH I think i enjoyed that part of the evening at least as much as when my mate finished work and we went for some food.

Women do the same, just maybe not in a pub. Probably more a coffee shop or a quiet bar. Would you feel the same about people going round shops on their own? I would imagine not - in which case why is sitting and having a drink different?

I'm an introvert and an only child so have always been very content in my own company - in fact I need a lot of alone time. I get overloaded very easily with too much social activity. My friends always think I'm exremely weird for going for coffee, or to cinema by my myself - I even did this as a teenager. They mostly claim that they would be too embarassed to do the same, and think that everyone would look at them and think they had no friends. It simply never occurred to me to think that people would judge me for it - but clearly people do, as OP proves.

I mourn the increasing death (in cities at any rate) of proper pubs that were all about individuals (albeit nearly all men) going for a quiet pint, socialising with others if they wanted, or keeping to themselves if they wanted. I used to have one near my house and used to go of an afternoon (even way back as a lone teenage girl I got NO hassle). I'd be in the same pub with my mates on a Saturday night. Now pubs are AAALL about social drinking /family eating and traditional pub going is deemed 'sad'.

Not so much YABU, but very patronising.

Yes, I agree about patronising.
Now when I'm sitting in a pub alone with my glass of wine I'll be wondering if there's some smug marrieds looking at me with pity

After I had my mirena replaced I went straight to the pub (on my own) and had a glass of wine. It was great. (the wine) It was on Dr's orders too (I'd had a traumatic half an hour - lost strings and lots of probing)

I've done it in the evening too on the way too/from somewhere to kill some time.

I do lots of things on my own - pub, meals, cinema, theater - I need a whole new category of sad me

Peshwari, by the time we are old, it will be fine.

Unfortunately all the pubs will have closed by then!

OMG, there's nothing I love better than sitting in Costa coffee drinking a Caffe Mocha reading the paper - now I found out I'm sad

I used to love nipping in for a quick drink on my own before meeting a friend/husband after work. I never went into cafes/Costas etc - I don't drink coffee and their tea is minging. Don't do it any more on account of the children but I loved it and never felt uncomfortable. A bottle of beer, a sneaky cig and a trashy magazine - bliss

I used to go to the pub on my own fairly regularly. If I didn't find someone to talk to I'd sit and read a book. I was happy either way.

I love, love, LOVE sitting in a pub or bar alone if I get the chance.

I work away a lot (too much) and one of the things I actually enjoy about it is being able to have a drink alone without feeling I should be with OH or friends.

Reminiscing now, thinking about people watching in bars all around Europe and further afield over the past too many years.

Oh yes Peshwari.
Should I live into old age, I shall be sitting in pubs alone with my glass of wine tutting at the young people of today.

It's sad if they want someone to talk to, but don't have anyone. On the other hand, right now I would probably swap a kidney for a chance to take the Sunday papers to the pub and read them cover to cover while I had lunch and wine, like I used to in pre-DH/ DS days....

God, I miss drinking alone.

Used to spend every Friday afternoon with a book and a pint while DH was in lectures.

I hate being in a pub or restaurant on my own, and have never been to the cinema alone.

But that's simply my own personal preference; rather than thinking anyone was sad I'd admire them for doing it :)

Sunday papers cover-to-cover, I remember that.

Yabu. Several times a week I have coffee or lunch on my own and go for walks on my own and go shopping on my own. Tbh Im not entirely on my own I have 6months dts in pushchair and the cafe thing is an opportunity to feed them but I enjoy the rest and the peace whilst they look around. I have drunk in pubs on my own. Once I got very drunk waiting for a friend who was an hour and a half late but looking back that whole night was a mistake so probably should have gone home....

Gosh, well this thread has been an eye opener. I genuinely didn't realise do many women felt comfortable going into pubs alone. Maybe it's a cultural thing- where I live pubs are either young people's bars or old men's pubs. I can't think of anywhere I'd feel comfortable going alone, but I've obviously been missing something. I'll have to put this in my bucket list.

Those of you that do it regularly....do you just turn up with a book, order your drink and then find yourself a seat tucked away in the corner...

haunted yes that is exactly what I do. Who cares? I don't anyway if other people do I don't worry about it. I do go out very often with friends and family too (more than on my own/maybe equally as much) but they work all week. I don't really notice if anyone else there is on their own (I'm sure I've seen some though-women- I've definately seen men) but I'm going to be looking more!