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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU re: sending your newborn to the hospital nursery?

274 replies

coraltoes · 10/08/2012 09:31

A good friend of mine has given birth in a private london hospital. I popped in yesterday to visit her, on what is was day 2 of her stay there post CS. I have to say what an amazing place it was, but i was left feeling a bit cold about something and wondered if I was wrong to?

She looked well rested, and I asked how the days and nights were going, as god knows newborns can be all over the place with their sleep and feeds. Her reply surprised me. She had been sending him to the nursery to sleep at night, from about 8pm with them bottle feeding him (she has chosen not to BF) through the night when he needs it. She did this from day 1.

Now, it is the kind of place that would help you in the night by your bed if you needed it, so she wouldnt have to make up bottles whilst struggling to walk with a scar etc. So I was a bit "hmmmmm" about not even letting your newborn sleep near you on his first night in the world, so you can get some sleep. If you had laboured for 2 nights i can see the appeal but her Csection was scheduled, and took place at the start of the day.

What do you guys make of it? Would you use the same service? Maybe i'm being a bit precious!

OP posts:
JumpingThroughHoops · 10/08/2012 09:33

NHS hospitals have nurseries too. I used it Grin

Sirzy · 10/08/2012 09:33

It's not something I would be happy doing but considering she is going to be home and having the sleepless nights soon I can see why it's tempting!

It's not that long ago when babies being in nursery overnight was standard

JumpingThroughHoops · 10/08/2012 09:34

It works for your friend, whats the problem?

SamuelWestsMistress · 10/08/2012 09:36

I think it's great. Gives new mums leaving hospital recovered from birth and feeling confident about their new roll in life and prepared for the disturbed nights ahead.

MakeItALarge · 10/08/2012 09:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKeithRichards · 10/08/2012 09:37

This has been on before where a women was shocked her friend was planning on using the nursery after a section. Was that you?

tara0202 · 10/08/2012 09:38

It's certainly not something I would do. At least she will be rested when she gets home whereas I was bloody Knackered!

Sirzy · 10/08/2012 09:38

Also planned or not a c section is still major surgery

LunaticFringe · 10/08/2012 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKeithRichards · 10/08/2012 09:42

Both mine got taken to the nursery, standard NHS hospitals. Both times it was about 4am and they'd been feeding of me constantly for about 6 hours. I was to tired to object!

The silly moo next to me wasn't happy. She'd had a section and was ff and her and her husband sat demanding the baby was taken away at 8pm after hubby left so she could rest. The staff were like 'eh... No'. Poor women, her baby slept soundly but her drips etc kept beeping all night.

coraltoes · 10/08/2012 09:42

No MrsKeith, sorry i didnt see that one. I didnt even know these nruseries still existed. I know they were in NHS hospitals when i was born though!

Sirzy- it was planned

Not intentionally drip feeding, but she does have a maternity nurse booked at home for a few weeks. Thats pretty usual in my circle of pals, although I didnt do it myself. So I was thinking a bit of bad sleep at the start could be recovered at home?

It does sound like i WBU either way. Perhaps I was thinking that i'd not let DD out of my sight where i gave birth, but thats a whole other can of worms (NHS port natal ward nightmare can of worms)

OP posts:
BlackOutTheSun · 10/08/2012 09:42

I'm jealous dd and I got kicked out after a few hours. If it works for her then fair play

FurCough · 10/08/2012 09:42

I could have kissed the (NHS) nurse that took 2 day old DS away for a few hours so I could get some kip.

Gigondas · 10/08/2012 09:43

Each to their own- baby is cared for and she is getting rest . It's not for everyone as others have said

I would be more worried about having a judgmental friend being a bigger issue.

drcrab · 10/08/2012 09:43

My nhs midwives took my son for a few hours for me to sleep on day 3 of post c section. I needed sleep. They helped me out. It was fine. I bfed him till 23 months.

It's pretty normal in many hospitals around the world. I find it ridiculous that there are sections of mums in this country who think that it's necessary to 'suffer' from day one to demonstrate love for your child.

coraltoes · 10/08/2012 09:44

Lunatic- no, sorry i didnt see a previous thread about this. Sorry to have repeated the theme!!

OP posts:
CherryBlossom27 · 10/08/2012 09:45

I remember a similar thread a while ago about a friend that was planning to do this and the op had slept with the baby on her for the first night?

Anyway, it wouldn't be for me, but I can see the good points, e.g. new mum will recover faster with more sleep and she will be able to sleep knowing her baby is being looked after by professionals.

I'm sure this lady will be doing plenty night time feeds once she's back home so I wouldn't worry that she's missing out on anything.

catgirl2012 · 10/08/2012 09:47

It wouldn't be for me, but if she is happy with it - fine.

I think this used to be very common - My DM says this was the norm when she was having babies 30 odd years ago

At least your friend is getting lots of sleep and rest. The baby is being cared for.

DozyDuck · 10/08/2012 09:47

I hated it. I ended up sending DS there for a couple of hours and felt terrible! The mum next to me did as well, she spoke to me about it the next morning and said she felt awful, but needed a couple hours sleep, then she rang her DH in tears as she felt so bad for doing it and he was out on the lash while she was upset about wanting a few hours sleep, she didn't feel so bad after that.

midori1999 · 10/08/2012 09:48

I admit I would find it strange, I wouldn't have wanted my newborns out of my sight. I also wouldn't have wanted anyone else to care for my baby at home either and it has nothing to do with thinking it's necessary to 'suffer'. Hmm

It's up to your friend what she does, of course, but I can't help but think this is just another symptom of people seeing babies as an 'inconvenience'.

MaryPoppinsBagsGold · 10/08/2012 09:53

My DS's were both taken by the midwives on my 1st night. As I'd had a rough time and needed the rest.
I think nurseries are a good idea and would use one if I had another and there was one available.
Each to their own it doesn't mean you love your baby any less.

cornybootseeker · 10/08/2012 09:54

I didn't let them take ds to the nursery as I was worried I wouldn't get him back or he'd get mixed up with another baby or something! The nurse was actually wheeling him out of the door as he wouldn't settle and I made her bring him back. She was Hmm
I certainly wouldn't judge anyone for doing it though - you do what you need to do as a mum to get by....I would have begged someone to take him to a night nursery by the end of the 4th week!

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 10/08/2012 09:55

I would have loved it. Sadly my hospital didn't have it.

A lot of people on here think it's important that the child's father goes home and 'rests up' so he's refreshed to help with the baby, what's so different about the mother doing the same thing?

Potol · 10/08/2012 09:57

Apparently when I was born, I was sent to a nursery. How do I know this? Because my father told me this yesterday. I am in my 30s, have an excellent relationship with my mother blah blah blah. Point being that we spend so much time and effort over thinking this stuff. A few nights of sleep for the mother will be good for both. And as long as the baby is warm, fed, changed and given the occasional cuddle he/she will be fine.

janey68 · 10/08/2012 09:58

Why is it a problem? Not the same as hospital because my first was in a MLU but at night the midwives would have the babies in their work station if we wanted, and bring them to the room when they needed bf. I did this the second night I was in, to get a better sleep. I wasn't in the slightest concerned about letting my baby out of my sight (frankly if you're asleep you can't see them anyway!) However this was a 6 bed maternity unit not a huge regional hospital.