To be really angry with DH re contraception?

[ATreeNamedPercy]

Dd is 5 months. DH doesn't want the snip so said I would have to get something sorted. I'm unwilling to take hormonal contraception whilst BF and DH agrees with me on this one so we are currently using condoms. Or so I thought.

Last night, in the midst of things DH loses the condom packet. We manage to find it and then there is much cursing from DH as he opens it and then faffs around putting it on. I notice afterwards I have a lot of discharge, so I just to be certain I asked him in a bit of a panic if he still had it on after or if it split. He said that he never put it on and asked (with disbelief in his voice) couldnt I feel the difference? (certainly not - is it normal to be able to tell this? After having dd all I have is the sensation that my bits are falling out and that it's v. uncomfortable and, quite frankly, not at all pleasurable to have sex, plus which it was dark, I hadn't glasses on...)

I'm really upset actually that he didn't warn me, when, clearly, I would have never had sex if I thought we were not sufficiently protected. So now I'm going to have to get the morning after pill, and feel ultra guilty for even considering it because of bf the baby. I am getting more and more angry with him. He doesnothing to help with the kids, has changed dd only a handful of times. In 3 yrs never got up with either of them, never helps at bedtime etc and so i really fear becoming pg again. I am now awake worrying having got up to feed the baby and he is fast asleep and snoring. Am I over reacting in my haze of tiredness? Will it all seem less important in the morning?

Balotelli, I don't think someone should have surgery if they don't want to! But then at the same time he shouldn't encourage her to have the (more invasive) surgery if he won't. He just needs to use a condom and have some respect!

Depends whether he is a selfish arse or actually a controlling nasty man?

If a woman in the UK goes to a WA shelter and then disappears so her ex can't find would you say that was wrong too?

I'm not saying she should stay in a relationship! I was saying that it would be wrong for her to steal the children and take them to another country without his knowledge! In your example, I fully support a woman's right to escape an abusive marriage and seek shelter in a refuge! But the father would be able to apply for contact through our Courts do its not comparable! All I'm saying is that it would be unacceptable, whatever the circumstances, to hide her children in another country!

"whatever the circumstances" sadly I disagree with that. In some countries woman have no rights, nor do their children especially girls - married off in early teens into abusive marriages. If I couldn't legally remove my dc from the country and the ONLY alternative was fleeing back to my home country with them where it would be THEIR rules enforced then I would do it.

Well then I expect you wouldn't have had DCs there in the first place. I'm afraid we will have to agree to disagree. If the father had abused the child, I can understand it, but I am sure that if a father were to intentionally remove his children from their mother's care in the UK, perhaps you wouldnt be quite so supportive of his actions and I don't think it's helpful to suggest the OP takes steps which are likely to be illegal.

YANBU. You understood he was using a condom and he broke your trust.

Why unwilling to use hormonal contraception whilst bf? I got mirena as amounts that get into breast milk as v negligible as its much lower dose than the POP and delivered locally. But if he won't use condoms why not use a diaphragm.

"What do you think Julian Assange is accused of?"

pissing off the establishment

Not that you should, but I would use a femidom or diaphragm. Until he can be trusted to use a condom.

Op in your op you said in the midst of things, because you can get pregnant by the precome

MrMiyagi