So just because you're mum now you can't look nice and make an effort?

[sostressedsostressed]

I don't understand (bar finances and even then not really an excuse) why some women when they become parents, out goes the stylish clothes, in comes Tesco mummy jeans!

Out goes the decent hair cut/colour, in comes uncombed hair.

There is NO excuse (apart from depression before the righteous mafia comes for my neck, haha.

Seriously it really bugs me.

People in poorer countries are often a lot more aware of clean = a value than are the British, IME.

Do you know what, OP? I just don't care. Either way.

You really seem overly concerned with other women's appearance. I remember your bridesmaid thread...

I honestly don't get how somebody can be so obsessed (somebody else's) appearance.

Seriously Bonsoir, people living in shanty towns without adequate sewers and drainage and no proper water supply tend to be dirtier than those in developed countries with proper facilities.

I am hoping that you do not think those living in the shanty towns are worse people than those who have access to facilities to keep clean. Can you confirm this?

Have to say though I've never been high maintenance.

I don't go to the hairdressers because I think they are over priced and over rated and quite frankly I do a better job myself!

I have never waxed anything in my life.

I did have a pedicure recently which was nice.

I cant afford designer clothes anyway. Primark and peacocks all the way!

Ive sort of flitted thru reading alot of the replies to this post....must admit when i first read it then i was a bit 'hmph' about it....being a mum of 4 (almost 5!!) i did feel like a little 'how dare you'.....BUT....have to grudgingly admit that it kinda sounds like me!! Obviously im not a stig...i wash, brush my hair and im not in dirty, mucky or whiffy clothes!! Occassionally i can stretch to a bit of lip gloss too! But however i can definitely see now that im in no way as bothered about my appearance as i was before kids. My DC's are always immaculate. Lovely clothes, hair styles etc. I think i focus all time, effort and money on them now and i 'make do'. Also alot of it has to do with time too...on a morning or in the mad rush to get ready for us all to go out sometimes i just 'forget' about myself then realise i have 5 mins to get myself sorted before we need to leave. As im progressing in this pregnancy tho im thinking that i want/need to get a little bit of 'me' back. Getting my hair done next week.....first time in god knows how long that i've had a salon colour!! And im gonna make an effort to be more stylish....i used to be, and i will be again soon!!

I have plenty of self respect, but I have also raised a baby and a toddler from seven weeks pregnant on my own in a wheelchair. I have gotten her safe and sound to four years old by myself with barely a night to myself.

I have different priorities when it comes to clothing, I prefer clean, comfortable and loose clothing, tied back hair and clear skin. I achieve this with showering, perfume free products and lots of good skin care.

Not wearing makeup or stylish clothes doesn't mean I don't look after myself, just that I choose a different way to approach my life that others do. Make up is bad for my skin, so I choose to wear it only on special occasions. Stylish clothes (as I said already) tend to be more uncomfortable, and I am really only supposed to wear running trainers on my feet, so I wear loose, sporty clothes or soft flowing skirts/trousers/tops which are more comfortable on my sensitive skin. And since I've seen both my mother and cousin have serious reactions to hair dyes (blisters and swollen misshapen faces) I don't do mine very often either.

Plus I believe that being very short of money, that I need to prioritise things that I see as unnecessary, and cut back, which is where makeup and stylish clothes tend to stay on the shelf with me, even if I really really like them and would be willing to sacrifice my skin and comfort, I can't sacrifice my children's treats and our shopping budget.

Why do you care? I absolutely love clothes, make up etc, but when I'm racing to get everyone out to school it is not uncommon to see a bit of toast crust hanging in my hair and a fleece over the top of my jammmies. People get dressed up according to the occasion surely.

Me & DS have been playing & baking cakes most of the morning. We had lunch, I done some housework - all whilst looking shit. Of course I didn't care. We are going for a walk to the shop in a minute & then to the park.

I have just spent a total of 10 minutes putting some face on, tying up my hair & putting on a casual mummy outfit, jeans, t-shirt & sandals.

Can someone call SS? My son is obviously being neglected. Anyway have fun - were off to go on the swings & have ice cream - terrible mum that I am.

Fuck me it's a world of extremes on here isn't it. /facepalm

I don't think there's any excuse either. I had four under seven, a husband that worked away most of the week and I was always up, showered, hair and face done before breakfast, even on the days where I'd been up most of the night.

It made me feel better and kept me going for the day.

Never did the high heels though.

I think i feel frumpy tho....even tho its a word i hate! Definitely want to wear prettier clothes than i have been doing. Just want to look more girly, i used to be very girly looking...now im extremely practicle/sensible. If i'd always been like that then i wouldnt be fussed, its knowing ive changed so much that makes me want to get a little bit of the more 'glam' me back. I need to find the right balance. Not like im gonna turn into posh spice or anything. Nothing so silly as seeing a woman in heels chasing a hyper toddler around town/asda!!

Oh & I've got a whole 6 hours booked into a beauty salon next week.

Pedicure, manicure, facial, full body massage, salt scrub, eyebrows - the works. I can't wait!

I enjoy it, I really need it & I can.

Judge away.

So are we talking about being clean or being stylish?

Because I'm sure most of the people on this thread are the former, and I suspect that some of the people on this thread who think they are the latter (and cannot understand why anyone would not be able to find the time to be / have the desire to be) are probably not as much as they think they are...

I always wear make up. Even if I don't go anywhere. There's nothing wrong in taking pride in your appearance (some women really ought to look in the mirror at times).

I wore it before I became a mum, I'm the same person.

And no I don't wear heels to run after my kids. We're a very active family (football for the kids & martial arts fitness & running for me). I'm fit, slim & muslcy cos of the way I work at it.

I am a teeshirt and jeans type of dresser, clean but not smart, I never wear makeup, I have a short haircut so never need to do my hair (let alone brush it) I am however stunningly beautiful so I am not sure if I would fall foul of the OP's wrath or not.

Ps I know I am stunningly beautiful because my DM tells me I am and she is always right.

I love Mumsnet . You get to interact with people you wouldn't ever come into contact with in real life.

I would never judge anyone for choosing to wear make up, dye their hair, wax and buff and spend money on clothes that make them happy. I would judge those who judge others for not doing the same and feel it is necessary for women to do this.

I've hot a pair of Tesco jeans. I look hot as fuck in them.
Sorry OP.
< pas ag

I look in the mirror daily to check I'm clean, don't see the need for make up though. If other people think I look frightful, what an honestly sad statement for society today, that we are unacceptable unless we do ourselves up to look acceptable?

I have baggy eyes and some wrinkles, but that face is ME, and anyone who wants to look at it and say horrid things is welcome to do so, but please let me know so that I can avoid socialising with you ever!

This is just a prime example of why women are still regarded as second class, if we can't even respect each other.

Definitely this for me is a personal feeling. Its more an image crisis i think i have..with a little lacking in confidence thrown in for good measure! Apart from baby bump im not overweight, im slim (size 8-10) It's just where as post kids i could quite confidently stroll into h&m, zara or river island for example and chose a quirky or pretty top and team it with a skirt/trousers without so much as a 'what do you think' to anyone, i'd trust in myself it looked bloody fantastic! Now i play 'safe'. Like i said, it's all about how you feel individually about your appearance. Im not influenced by other people....for a start off nobody has ever actually commented so have no opinion to be influenced by. It's just that i know im different to how i used to/want to be.

pre kids not post kids!

Wow Yankeecandlequeen- wear make-up you may but you clearly forgot to apply your anti cunt concealer today! Shocking

I think some seem to be confusing the issue slightly. Wearing make up does not make someone 'cleaner' than someone else. On the occasions that I don't wear some make up I am still showered and in clean clothing as I'm sure most people are. I've seem plenty of women made up to the nines who are decidedly grubby. 'Stylish' is subjective surely?

Kat Moon, for example.....