So just because you're mum now you can't look nice and make an effort?

[sostressedsostressed]

I don't understand (bar finances and even then not really an excuse) why some women when they become parents, out goes the stylish clothes, in comes Tesco mummy jeans!

Out goes the decent hair cut/colour, in comes uncombed hair.

There is NO excuse (apart from depression before the righteous mafia comes for my neck, haha.

Seriously it really bugs me.

shudder at ten pairs of crocs hides eyes

The interesting thing for me reading this type of thread is the assumption that because someone wears make up and buys clothes that they will actually look nice. I know from my own experience that that isn't always the case...

Some women look gorgeous all kitted out, some lucky women look gorgeous even just falling out of bed, some wear far too much make-up and for some women no amount of make-up, expensive clothes and sneering will disguise the fact that they are not particularly attractive - physically or in attitude.

I have one pair. I find one pair of garish plastic holey shoes is adequate.

Maybenow. I did say I don't care how others look.

I was saying about me being clean and presentable.

Mintyy. No idea which page but posyers have posted comments along the lines of 'I'd rather play with my children' implying that if you are applying make up you're ignoring your children.

I wouldn't say I genuinely care (I'm away at the moment and mn is my sole entertainment during lazy days, have become quite the AIBU scrapper this holiday) but lots of posters are pointing out how rude the OP is whilst being knobbers themselves.

Ruby I agree - leave them to it. I think a lot of this spawns from jealousy. I think a lot of women are jealous of women who have children & look nice & in their twisted little brains have to assume they are a terrible & selfish mother just to make themselves feel better.

I enjoy my shallow life. Also - probably a hot point - what about your DH/OH etc?

Don't get me wrong my hubby always says how beautiful I am without make up etc, but I like looking nice, shaving my legs, taking care of myself not just for me - but for him. If I feel attractive then I feel better about myself & that leads to a generally happier relationship (and more sex).

When I was heavier & in my post baby mummy rut I barely wanted sex because I felt unattractive.

so they like getting dressed up for a night out

I get dressed up for a night out, or even when i am camping of a night when we are going for a drink, but how i look of a day when i am not in work, doesn't really interest me and i do wear Asda jeans.

I am not going to go shopping for utility clothing that looks better than what i put on.

It isn't vanity to want to look how you want, i am from Liverpool and most don't like our styling, i do false tan and nails/lashes, they are minimum as far i am concerned for a special occasion.

When we are on holiday, we can tell if we are approaching another scouser (and not just beacuse of the brow).

But, likewise it isn't laziness to not worry about how 'stylish' that you look every day.

If i saw pictures of the OP i may criticise what she is wearing, but she thinks that she looks good, but it doesn't matter what i think.

You only have to look at any royal wedding,some of the women look awful, but are 'styled', i would rather wear my Asda jeans than their £500+ outfits.

I am very into fashion, but after a terrible pg where I piled on a ton of weight because most of it was spent in bed at home or in hospital and on safe medication that caused weight gain also, I am still too fat to fit into my old clothes and am too big to fit into the sizes of shops with decent clothes. I find the stuff in plus size shops (online and RL) pretty naff, so if I'm going to look fat and dowdy, I'm going to buy it as cheap as poss and not pay loads for the privilege of looking shit. Also, I find it hard to get anything that makes me look nice because my body looks so godawful and bulky. I am disabled and have SPD that hasn't cleared, so exercise to sort myself out isn't an option. I hate what I look like and feel ashamed of my appearance to the point where I have to give myself an inner talking-to before I'll leave the house, so it feels great to know that other women are judging me so harshly for letting myself go, cheers OP

I do have nice hair though, yay me

I have 10 pairs of crocs in different colours to match outfits. I've got crocs boots too.

Oh gosh I'm going to have to read every post now!

Isn't arsed.

Oxford judging by appearance is a sad fact of life that we all fall victim to at some point. Don't let it stress you. The nice ones won't.

I must admit the women (and men) I know who are meanest about other people's appearance are often the ones who leave me wondering who on earth they think they see when they look in the mirror...

havent read the whole thread, but isn't op the same one who was worrying about overweight bridesmaids?

I'd like to say I do my hair and make up for myself and it is but I can't help smiling when dh comes in, plants a kiss on my forehead and tells me I'm looking hot.

I just don't see the point personally. Yes I do suffer a bit from depression, but that's not the main reason, it's more that it takes time, money and effort that I feel best spend elsewhere.

So I have an easy uniform of comfy trousers t-shirt and cardigan, with trainers or crocs, and clean hair in a pony tail. It's not terrible, but I certainly won't win any beauty contests. But I am always ready for anything, playing out back, taking them to the park, school runs, shopping, cleaning the house etc.

Most importantly I am always comfortable, I never found fashionable clothes as comfy, nor wearing makeup easy, since it needs touched up, and styling my hair is pointless because it falls out so quickly.

It costs far less, so I don't bankrupt myself. I only get benefits and it's always a stretch, so £3 tshirts are a life saver, and I can get my trousers for less than a tenner. The only thing I ever spend big on is proper running trainers as advised by my physio. No expenditure on hair dye or hairdressers except the quarterly trim.

I do like to occasionally look nice, I save it for the few occasions I can afford to go out. I have a nice night out in October I bought a pair of shoes to wear(in my wheelchair, so the shoes are terribly unsuitable with high heels and all, :D) with a classic LBD I have, and because I don't always dress up, it's going to feel really special for me. Plus my birthday in September. Although I am having a pyjama party with my friends, so just dressing for the meal with my family. Then Christmas day. You get the idea. LOL. :D

I have a 3yo and a 3 month old and wear a full face of make up every day and always wear dresses, mostly with heels or boots. My hair is teased with a ton of hairspray.

Just don't ask me if I've got clean knickers on.

I would love to make an effort every day, unfortunately for me, I'm not naturally good at dressing stylishly, perfecting my make up - it takes time. Time I dont really have with a 2 year old and another on the way.

Before I had children yes I had that time, mind even then I didn't find it easy.

People with attitudes like you, OP, make me very there is more to be proud of in life than how we look, yet it's so hard to escape, I feel good if I look good. Which in a way is sad.

I hope I can install into my daughter the values to not judge on appearance and see into someone's soul.

I hope I can teach her to feel good without having to look good.

"No idea which page but posyers have posted comments along the lines of 'I'd rather play with my children' implying that if you are applying make up you're ignoring your children."

I'm one of the posters who said something like that.

For me it's more a case that applying makeup takes time, time which I'd rather spend with my DS nowadays.

Lordy an advanced search of OP makes for much entertainment.

On the subject in hand, Ive got three dc. 8,9 and 1. I also work fulltime. Work days are full slap and office wear. Weekends....pffft I can not be arsed ( unless were going out ) so its pj,s and vest tops.

Coincidently I asked DH the other day whether it bothered him I wore pj bottoms and vest tops round the house instead of getting dressed up. His answer was slightly lecherous so no I dont think he cares

Should add to my last post. I have no issue with others wanting to spend a little time on themselves, it's totally understandable and in no way a lesser option.

I guess my view of it is very much coloured by recent experiences (bereavements, life limiting illnesses, terminal illnesses, etc).

Before DS I was seriously high maintenance, nowadays I just don't get the same amount of joy from it. I get far more from playing with DS, so it seems a better use of time. Seeing as time feels very limited to me, I understandably pick and choose what I do with it.

crikey My DH is the same! Apparently pyjamas are incredibly sexy - who knew?!

Do some people have their DC strapped to them? Literally?

I didn't realise it was crippling to spend 10 minutes without contact from your DC.

My DS sits on my bed usually playing with cars or looking at books whilst I selfishly spend 10 minutes chucking on my face & sorting out my hair. If u can't spend 10 minutes without your child I suggest u have issues & that you will be on super nanny in the not so distant future complaining about a clingy child that still breast feeds and sleeps in ur bed at age 12.

I like clothes, make up, bags, shoes etc.

I wear Karen millen, ted baker, louboutins & Michael Kors etc. I also wear primark, new look & tesco. I don't take my son to the park in 4 inch heels & a skirt. I do have to go to events for both mine & DH work which calls for me to make an effort and shoot me now - I love it! Mwah hahah! Evil laugh!

its called attachment parenting bub look it up on google.

I did attachment parenting and also did my hair, make-up, clothes etc - and DD was always beautifully dressed. The two are not incompatible.