So just because you're mum now you can't look nice and make an effort?

[sostressedsostressed]

I don't understand (bar finances and even then not really an excuse) why some women when they become parents, out goes the stylish clothes, in comes Tesco mummy jeans!

Out goes the decent hair cut/colour, in comes uncombed hair.

There is NO excuse (apart from depression before the righteous mafia comes for my neck, haha.

Seriously it really bugs me.

now now girls haven't you all got kids to look after?

theres pleasure in clothes and make-up

Yes there is, but lifestyle doesn't always suit it, or time would be wasted doing it, daily.

I don't want to attend a gym, i want to walk, ride and fish, on those days, i don't style myself. I am going camping next week, of a day i am the type the OP would judge.

My hair is professionally coloured and i am groomed, but i probably look 'scruffy' because of the practicality of my clothes (which are as expensive as designer, because the are proper outdoor wear).

The OP is just putting it down to Motherhood, but it for many is because of a change in lifestyle. On shopping days, i shop all day, so i wear comfy shoes/sandals.

That is why people change, it suits them to. Anyone who is happy with their life has the 'last laugh'.

I like fashion & lookin good. I need to look nice for work. I do believe that in my line of work I would not be taken seriously if I turned up with unbrushed hair wearing a track suit.

I also don't believe that people don't have time. You choose not to have time.

I have DS, I work 36 hours a week, I look after the house, I exercise, I have a social life & me & DH still have 'date nights'. This is all nothing compared to some I know who work with multiple children but my point is that if u don't care or don't make time that's up to you. I couldn't give a shit.

Please don't think u r a better mum then me bcoz u don't shave or brush your hair. That is most definitely not the case.

wankpants, I have no idea what you are talking about or quite why you have homed in on my posts? Nor do I really care. As I said, you are coming across as a bully, and the fact that you are bringing up things I have said in other posts makes you look a bit weird and stalker-ish, and quite frankly says more about you than it does about me.

Plenty of others have said similar things to the things I have said on this thread but you haven't pulled any of those up and have consistently picked at what I've said.

Anyway, that is all I have to say on the matter, and I really will be bowing out of this thread now as your behaviour is making me feel quite uneasy. Clearly you have some kind of grudge against me given your constant comments and then bringing up things I've said on other threads. And that's saying something on MN where it is quite a tough environment and I'm not normally bothered. But then I'm sure making me feel uneasy was probably what you set out to do in the first place anyway.

It is unfair to say that because you spend time on your looks in makes you a worse mother, that certainly isn't true.
But it would be more positive for all women if our self esteem could come more from our achievements in life and less from our looks and prettifying routine. Alas we live in a society that values the appearance of a woman above all else so it is very difficult to not see your looks as paramount.
But op just because you have these insecurities yourself don't go preaching it as objective fact to other women. Because its not, it's sexist bullshit.

Ugh, here we go.

"I haven't had a wash since 1997!"

"It's 1965 for me! After a while your fanjo just cleans itself, doesn't it? Fuck, cock, wank."

"I really should go. Clean the house a bit."

"Nah! Have a glass of wine! I've had 76 and actually vomited onto my jeans (Asda, oops! SORRY FASIONISTAS) this afternoon but it's alright, innit. adds a bit of colour!"

"My house is so dirty, DH actually cried when he came home from six months' active leave. I told him I did, if you want it clean, you do it!"

"Na a a aaaaaa! Yeah!"

"Um, I like looking nice and living in a tidy..."

"Oi! Fuck off! You're just catering to the PATRIARCHY!"

It's ridiculous to say that not caring about clothes/haircuts makes you a better mother. Just plain silly. But it is also silly to care that much about what other people do.

Also, people like different looks. I actually dislike the look of foundation but it doesn't bug me that other people use it. My ex sister in law was always going on about my lack of make up. I used to think that was plain rude. I never ever turned to her and said, "your neck is a different colour to your face."

Is it the hot weather bringing out all the judgmental mares today? OP, let people go round looking however they want. Oh go on, it might make you feel a bit happier and less, I dunno, stressed..

And PS unless you also judge scruffy old daddies, you do know you're guilty of sexism? Oh dear, now I feel quite stressed at THAT.........

AnuvvaMuvva Brilliant!!

OP is a wind up merchant.

There is NO excuse (apart from depression before the righteous mafia comes for my neck, haha.

I am so pleased I have your permission to look like a bag of shite OP. I feel so much better now. Best cancel the counselling and anti depressants then

Only read as far as pg11.

Firstly I will say I don't give a toss how anyone else looks/lives.

Personally I like to look presentable and the only times I've really not bothered have been when on reflection I was depressed.

I fucking hate this idea that if you spend any time on yourself your children are being neglected. I mean seriously! WTF.

I think there is some sort of competition of how shit can I look as though that's some sort of measure of what a great parent you are. It isn't it just means you are a martyr

I have three sons have been a single parent for the last 5-6 yrs. My youngest child is autistic and I still manage to be clean and presentable. No one is neglected in my house and its incredibly rude to suggest that because I spend 15 mins putting on a bit of slap (probably closer to 5 tbh) that I'm somehow vacuous and my children miss out. Fuck that.

Why do some women think you can't do both?

But Birds that's the point I'm trying to make, not that everyone should find pleasure but that I and lots of people do so to just dismiss it as shallow vanity as some posters have is pretty fucking rude. It would be like saying those who enjoy scting are just show offs. For me it's a hobby, like painting or crafts or canoeing or whatever. Some people enjoy it a bit, so they like getting dressed up for a night out, some people like me enjoy it a lot. I love going to shows, working in fashion, reading about fashion and participating in it.

People are posting in a yuck its such a chore why on earth do you bother way and I'm saying that it makes me happy not everyone finds it a chore, lots of people take great pleasure in it. I don't enjoy camping but I'm not on here saying why do you bother it's so much effort. It's your hobby or holiday choice. I'm apparently judged if not well presented and apparently judged if I am.

I hate this competitive hardship, you don't know you're born business. I've raised 4 children, I've done the 3 under 3 thing, I understand its not a piece of piss but why are we competing to have had it the worst. Everyone harps on about these bloody MILs who martyr themselves, I say give it a few years and half of you will all be the MIL from hell and of course you wont realise it, you'll be far too busy banging on about the struggle, thinking you know best, just like the women you complain about.

Worra :)

"I fucking hate this idea that if you spend any time on yourself your children are being neglected. I mean seriously! WTF.

I think there is some sort of competition of how shit can I look as though that's some sort of measure of what a great parent you are. It isn't it just means you are a martyr"

Unfortunately I have been out all morning at the doctors but I would be really grateful if anyone could point out where these sentiments have been expressed on this thread, so I don't have to wade through it all. I need cheering up and as it happens today is one of those days when I find these intentionally-started bunfights quite amusing .

But Ruby, why do you care so much what these people think of you? I think your life sounds lovely! But if I didn't, so what?

Which people?

MN? Or My Public?

I have 10 pairs of crocs and love them. I don't judge anybody by how they look.

Ruby, whoever this was aimed at: "so to just dismiss it as shallow vanity as some posters have is pretty fucking rude".

WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK?! Seriously.

It's competitive misery isn't it.

I said to my colleague once 'I've got to do the ironing tonight' and got this

'YOU'VE got to do the Ironing?! I have got to do the ironing! Try ironing with two kids!!'

It got so pathetic I stubbed my tie once and said 'oh I've stubbed my toe!' and I got

'YOU'VE hurt your toe? One of my kids nearly had my toe off with a knife! It's so much worse with two kids' etc etc

So I switched off, in her own little misery competition she had won, but she also won shit parent competition having a hissy over ironing and letting her 4 year old have a kitchen knife in the first place.

She was awful lol

Amberleaf - i totally agree you can if you want put on makeup and look after your kids brilliantly.

But why do you say that other women, or women in general. need makeup to look "presentable"?

These threads always go from somebody saying they don't do makeup to others saying 'well i wouldn't go out with greasy hair and dirty fingernails' as if not wearing makeup or using nail polish equates to not showering!

Some
People don't though, hence the posts about bed head and pyjamas lol

Why do you need ten pairs of crocs?