So just because you're mum now you can't look nice and make an effort?

[sostressedsostressed]

I don't understand (bar finances and even then not really an excuse) why some women when they become parents, out goes the stylish clothes, in comes Tesco mummy jeans!

Out goes the decent hair cut/colour, in comes uncombed hair.

There is NO excuse (apart from depression before the righteous mafia comes for my neck, haha.

Seriously it really bugs me.

Have just read back a few posts - came across the one recommending asking at a make-up counter about how to choose make up that is best for you.

I did this once, prior to getting married. It was a very naice department store, decent make up counter - the girl was very pleased to show off her "skills" - and I ended up looking like Aunt Sally from Worzel Gummidge. Not happy!

But I agree with the OP! It seems to me that some (NOT ALL) women do a bait & switch with their DHs, and transform into frumps when they get married/have kids. I DID. After the kids came along, it felt selfish to prettify myself, and if I took more than 30 mins to get ready, DH would be martyrish and sulky. Twunt.

When he thankfully left my frumpy ass, something kicked in and I lost 3 stone, regained my love of lovely clothes and completely transformed. I remember going to a friends party (she'd met me when I was a married mum) in a new dress, hair done, thinner, and she said, "Wait! Let me take you in for a minute! The complete transformation!"

It was honestly like an instinct came over me when DH left, that it was BIOLOGICALLY NECESSARY to start looking nice again.

Now I have DP and I am worried I will go fugly again if we get married.

Yabu.

I manage to wear a little make up and make a bit of effort with how I dress, but don't have much time or energy to shop for new clothes, I prefer choosing clothes for dc tbh. Before dc I was much more interested in clothes and make up.

Perhaps for lots of mums, once they have dc they realise there's more to life than clothes and make up?

Personally I like wearing make up and I enjoy clothes and fashion although am not a slave to it.

I take offence though that you seem to think that a) looking good for others (although not men) is the pinnacle point for a woman, and b) that you can't look good on a budget.

God help your husband if you ever have a baby then hit some rough times, eh!

You don't get anywhere in life looking like a scruffy hobo, it does require some effort you put your best on for interviews and work etc...

Why is ok to look like shit at school and I front f your kids? I'm not totally done up but some clean and neat clothes and a brush through my hair (dry shampoo for time constraints) isn't exactly difficult.

Men and women.

Well men sometimes in their fugly tweed

I always found time to do my hair and make up even when I had very young kids/babies. I put make up on every day - just because I felt tired etc, didn't want to look it!

I was back in my jeans (levis not tesco mummy with eleasticated waists) in two weeks after each birth, regularly got my hair cut and coloured (while DH had the kids).

I think I am Samantha brick although not as stunningly beautiful and with such a handsome husband that all the women want

Oops

Those department counters are only useful if you like to look orange. And the idea of Clinique for a woman on a budget!

I have a pair of jeans from tesco I bought about 3 years ago. I also have a pair of J Brand and a pair of 7 for all mankind. I get more compliments on my tesco pair, so that blows that argument to pieces or maybe I have a better butt than you

Also my £200 hair colourist has had to make way for my much cheaper and way less arrogant and entitled £80 stylist. Nobody noticed.

Well men sometimes in their fugly tweed

Well. I take professional offence at this.

I love tweed as does dh.

Nobody whose opinion matters to me cares what I look like. Almost by definition. Mind you that's not just a post kids thing. It was just always so.

i 'take care of myself' - i wash myself and moisturise or suncream, i keep my teeth scrupulously clean and my nails filed neatly short and rounded. i eat lots of vitamins and nutrients and exercise four times a week running and cycling. i am healthy and fit.

i DO NOT paint or dye any part of my body a colour it shouldn't naturally be not do i pluck bits of myself... that is not 'taking care of yourself'.

i also wear what's comfortable and what i like, in my case this isn't supermarket clothes but surfy/outdoorsy clothes which suit my lifestyle but if somebody else wants to wear supermarket clothes so what?

oh, and my self-esteem is fne thanks.

Wankpants, I cannot believe that still you are making digs at things I have said in my posts on this thread, such as the professionally offended comment you have just made.

Maybe let it go now, eh. You've made your point that you don't agree with the things I said, and you are just acting like a dog with a bone

I'm finding this very amusing as I am in the kitchen waiting for the cakes me & DS have made to come out the oven.

Illustrating my point I work Mon-Thurs. i have fridays off with DS. I don't have to go out yet so am currently modelling an extremely bare face, hair in high bun and multicoloured leggings with an oversized top. HOT!

Why does he like making cakes? Why do I give in? To justify eating cake of course. 30 minute run this morning wasted - might need a spinning class later!

I said it at the beginning and I just knew it would come up. This martyristic idea that you cannot spend time on your image because you have children. That you effectively neglect your children to do your make-up or that you realised there's more to life than clothes.

Utter bollocks. I always knew there was more to life, there's more to life than eating or cleaning but your not judged for doing those. This idea that you shouldn't have time astounds me, it takes longer to empty the dishwasher, hang out some washing or to be frank have a poo than it does to do my make up. It takes me as long to wash my hair as it does you, 15 minutes extra maybe to blow dry. I have someone come to my house to do waxing, manicure, pedicure etc. instead of watching tv or mumsnetting. I can't spend a bit of time doing that but you can spend time on mn.

Also I work. I have my own business in the fashion industry, that pays for the house, the food and the opportunities my children have so yes I will put time and money into my clothes and not feel guilty. Not everyone is shallow or stupid, theres pleasure in clothes and make-up. I would much rather sit and experiment with colours and see how I can completely change my look with one eyeliner to the next. Or styling new outfits, I may be nearly 40 but I have friends who come round and we style outfits together, maybe in your eyes that makes us stupid or ridiculous but do you know I've made a shitload of money and a successful business doing a similar thing so think what you like as I certainly feel I've had the last laugh.

OMG! Full house on my hex checklist!

Go Ruby!

You're acting like a bully, wankpants. No doubt you will say that that is a full house or a tick or something else but hey ho. All you've done in this thread is make snidey digs aimed at me. Isn't there someone else you need to move on to now? Grow up

I looked awful when I was on maternity leave because:

• None of my 'stylish' clothes fit and we didn't have the money to buy a new set. Didn't have the money as in couldn't buy food one week either.

• DS woke 6 times a night for breastfeeding until he was sleep trained at 12 months.

• I had PND and couldn't be bothered to make an effort.

Alriiiiiite?

anu surely the point us find someibe who lives you what ever shape or look your rocking. dh loves me even in scutty jammy bottoms combo.

MrsBucket I have to say that I don't find DH moaning about his weight or watching him fill up on junk food remotely attractive. I would also find faddy diets and obsessive exercise rather irritating and unattractive.

I couldn't give a rubbery fuck what other people think I look like and that I do not conform to the latest outpourings from vogue et al.
I like colourful clothes that are comfortable to wear and that wash well.
End of.
I don't wear heels...there is a precedent for a full leg ending in a point and it's on a pig!!
My hair currently looks like a badgers backside as I haven't had time to do my roots.
My kids don't care, my friends don't care, my dh doesn't care and neither do I.
If that makes me lazy so be it.....slopes off to watch re runs of Glee :)

someone who loves you i mean