So just because you're mum now you can't look nice and make an effort?

[sostressedsostressed]

I don't understand (bar finances and even then not really an excuse) why some women when they become parents, out goes the stylish clothes, in comes Tesco mummy jeans!

Out goes the decent hair cut/colour, in comes uncombed hair.

There is NO excuse (apart from depression before the righteous mafia comes for my neck, haha.

Seriously it really bugs me.

One of the biggest bunfights I ever read on MN was about wearing crocs.

Gah, I hate it when people sling mud at others on threads then can't deal with it when challenged!

I wear crocs and regularly leave the house with no make up on and bed head. I regularly pop into the shops after the gym, sweaty, make up free and all askew.

I have no children

I am talking about the mums with the older kids and a spare 15 mins in the bathroom to fix up

I wear make up every day (but not as much as i would once have done), but my hair tends to be in a low bun, where as once i would have styled it.

This isn't beacuse of my kids but becauseof how i want to spend my lesuire time, camping, walking and just being out with my dog, it is focused on the outdoors.

I wouldn't wear walking boots in my 'younger days' and when i think that this was soley because i thought they didn't look attractive 'enough'.

Motherhood and age changes us, where it counts, in our heads and can give us the confidence and the 'to hell with it' attitude so that we can live life and spend our time and money, how we want.

When i think back to the crap that i used to worry about until i was about 25, it was time wasted.

OP think about it in terms of, 'who are you to me', why should i do anything because you think it looks better?

The two men that i have had reletionships with (the rest were just fun), honestly don't care about the changes, i can still pull it back on special nights out, they have the best of both worlds.

*"Why is it a 'real shame', what's it got to do with you? And who are you to decide that someone isn't making any effort?"

Defensive or what? Struck a nerve have I dear?*

I'm guessing Mega was talking about this Hexagonal. To be fair I don't think your reply was particularly pleasant.

I don't think Mega's replies have been particularly pleasant either Diddydollydo, I very much doubt Mega needs you to leap on and defend them.

Don't mention the Crocs!

Snappity snap!

There was flouncing and everything on the Crocs thread.

Will we get a flounce on this one...

to those that suggest that you must choose between being a good mum & looking nice.

I went for a 30 minute run this morning whilst DH gave DS breakfast. Does that make me a bad mum? If whilst he is playing with his toys this morning I spend 10 minutes getting ready does that mean i am a bad mum?

I dread to think. DS is my no1 priority. He always has been - always will be. I resent the fact that bcoz I am a mum I must be only that - I no longer have a name, a face or am allowed anything for myself anymore.

I am a bloody good mum & think it is healthy for my DS that he gets the balance of a mum that is both dedicated to him & happy within herself.

Wow OP. Considering there's an actual "Mumsnet Haircut" designed for mums who have no money or time to look after themselves, I think you picked the wrong audience.

I'm fully aware that I look like crap. It's been several years since I could afford to buy clothes (and even then from charity shops or tesco) It's been nearly a year since I could afford a £6 haircut from my village hairdresser. Extended breastfeeding means I'm pudgy and can't wear contact lenses, even if I could afford them.

Having kids means that I can't work the 80 hour weeks that I used to in order to afford those things. Childcare costs mean that I can barely afford to work at all. And when my wages come in, they're earmarked for second-hand clothes and value brand food to keep my children fed and clothed.

Sure, I could take time to straighten my hair and put on makeup. Instead I spend that precious time with my kids, because the rest of my time is spent busting my ass to help create a better quality of life for people less fortunate than me. Mine is not a lucrative profession.

And yes, I'm sure my husband wishes I looked the way I used to, back when my life was centred around me. I can see the disappointment in his eyes every time he looks at me.

So hearing that my situation in life "really bugs you" is icing on the cake, OP. How great to know that other mums out there are judging me by my appearance. Yours is the first ever mumsnet post that actually made me cry. Congratulations.

Fair enough Hexagonal I was just commenting on the comments I've read and only saw unpleasantness from one side. But do carry on.

Can you flounce whilst wearing Crocs?

"a spare 15 minutes in the bathroom"?

If I had a spare 15 minutes, why in the name of arse would I choose to spend it in the bathroom?

It could be much better spent eating cake, or slobbing on the sofa or watching crap tv or MNing.....the list goes on.

Our bathroom is quite nice, but I can't say I have any inclination to spend much time there. Except when I'm in the bath obviously. And that isn't for grooming purposes. It is for languishing among the bubbles.

What a mean spirited thread :(

Doesn't having a good haircut all the time cost a lot?
I know the advice (from hairdressers ha ha) is to to go the hairdressers every six weeks or so but that is vey very expensive.

Hmmm, don't think Crocs are the best choice of shoe for flouncing. You could flounce faster in Converse.

Lack of finances, that's why!!!!! I don't have the money to be stylish - sorry, but I don't. I can manage clean, tidy, washed, ironed. Hair, yes I can do that, and make up yes I can do that. However, if you'd like to swop wardrobes for a day, I'm sure you'd struggle to look stylish too! :) (I own one pair of jeans, one white skirt, one long black skirt, 2 maxi dresses and 8 t-shirts. Oh, and a jacket. I don't own accessories as such, sold them all on ebay and I have only one handbag that is brown so 'goes' with everything!)

I'm not stylish never have been.
It's worse now I'm a mum as I'm also £30K a year worse off than I was.
However, I wasn't much more than neat and tidy when I was employed - it more than sufficed.

You don't need to get it cut every 6 weeks. A good cut will grow out well.

'Fair enough Hexagonal I was just commenting on the comments I've read and only saw unpleasantness from one side. But do carry on. '

then you are clearly only reading the things that you want to read. But I am not going to waste time explaining myself to you, when you've made up your mind about me and seemingly just joined this thread to get a dig at me too. My original comment on this thread was not unpleasant, or rude, it was stating how I felt and yet I have received a pasting from two posters, which wasn't at all deserved in my opinion, and now you have joined in too. And yet when I posted in retaliation I am somehow the unpleasant one.

Oh well, as I said I am not wasting any time in trying to convince you otherwise.

in the red corner

in the blue corner

God, even funnier. What perceptions some people have of the world.

It is absolutely correct that it takes as long to put on bad clothes as good ones.

BUT

You have to shop for them first which can mean an awful lot of effort and thought if it isn't something you are hugely interested in.