To choose ME for nine months over my children?

[Inconceivable]

I have three children varying in age from two to seven. I have been a SAHM for the last four years. Before that I had quite a good career and although I really enjoyed my time with the children, I really started to miss working. I then got offered a really good and interesting contract for nine months.

I decided to take it and I am really enjoying the work. However, the children are really finding it difficult to adjust with me working full time and it is really starting to show in their behaviour. It is breaking my heart to see them suffering but I really, really enjoy being back at work.

Am I be unreasonable to let them suffer and choose ME for nine months and just enjoy the work and ignore the price my children are paying for this? It is only temporary after all?

Yes you are right, suffering is a strong word and they probably are not. But they are definitely struggling to adjust. Whilst I have taken to work like a duck to water! And it makes me feel a bit guilty, but a lot of these posts hve made me realise that I don't have to.

It would always take them time to adjust though. Whether you went back to work now, in a year, in three years.

You know your kids best - keep an eye on them and see how it goes.

On the "suffering" thing, it must be an adjustment for the DC and OP after not working for a while, but that doesn't mean her working is a bad thing.

It is not necessarily the best solution -especially in the medium to long term - for OP to quit work. OP could review childcare arrangements, change activities at weekends (eg to allow plenty of time with DC), her partner could ask to work fewer or different hours or take annual leave etc etc. Both could reassure the DC, explain the changes etc.

It's not the worst thing that could happen to them is it? Sometimes us mums need to get a bit of perspective and stop beating ourselves up.

Its only nine months. If the kids are being well cared for, stop feeling guilty and enjoy your job.

What you could try is some 'challenges' for them that are closely connected with you going to work. With our friends, we've been doing 'Olympics medals challenges' and you could adapt this a bit.

Write down some on cards: some purely sporting ones (star jumps, skipping, whatever) and some independence-based (like getting a swimming bag ready/unpacked, setting their place at the table, pairing socks or similar), and any others that would enthuse them - watering plants maybe. Give them numbers. Seal each card in an envelope. They get to pick out an envelope like a lucky dip, but only when you have gone to work (supervised by their carer! One envelope for all 3 per day (not each), encourage a lot of help for the little one). Explain that some of the challenges are to help you and Daddy when you're at work. Ask about success when you come in again. Completion of first 5 days = bronze medals, second 5 = silver, and third 5 = gold. Buy stickers or chocolate coins on a ribbon to represent these. Be very appreciative!

They should then see an up-side about you going to work if they like the scheme.

Hi I work full time but would love to work p/t if I could afford it. My kids are doing well at nursery so input from other people in care of children help them to be more rounded. However, once your 9 month contact is up, r u able to consider p/t working to get the balance right? Remember u need to have a life too, especially when ur kids decide they need u less!

Thank you divinyl good advice to set them some sort of challenge for when I am away. I'll give that some thought!