To hope that my neighbour (or his wife) reads this?

[politebutgrumpy]

Hello Mr N and Mrs N

Indeed, hello anyone else who reads this and it reminds them of their own behaviour.

Please STOP FUCKING ENTERING MY FRONT AND BACK GARDENS WITHOUT MY FUCKING PERMISSION.

The first time, with your kids frisbee, I ignored it. Because hey kids throw frisbees.

The next time, when you REPAINTED THE SLABS ON THE PAVING STONES THAT ARE ON MY LAND I ignored it, because I was jet lagged and ill and DP was away and I couldn't handle a row by myself. And then it seemed to late and petty.

But when you PRUNED MY FUCKING PLANTS BACK and we texted you to say no we meant no. Prune from your side all you want but not ours. We like them a bit secret gardeny. Because its how we want it and we own them and the land and it gives us privacy from you.

Don't enter again. When you came in after your washing up gloves fell into our garden and I again asked you to stop I wasn't looking for an apology or an excuse I was looking for absolute confirmation that it would stop.

What you are doing is TRESPASS. It is also FUCKING CREEPY and breaks every social norm people on this cramped little island have.

I am going to get a monitor now so I can spy you entering. I can and I will take legal action. Also, the walls are very thin between my study and your kitchen, so I may consider playing inappropriate music, violent films, pornography etc on loudspeaker at certain times of the day. See how you like your space invaded.

Yours sincerely

PBG

What on earth are you trying to achieve with this thread?

You sound unhinged to be honest

And the chances of them reading this are pretty bloody slim in the grand scheme of things.

Oh dear.
Sounds like a right nightmare.
Next time they enter onto your property I'd tell them that I will be contacting the police.
It's not a hard thing to understand is it? Keep out of my garden.

That would annoy me too.

Do you really think that you blasting them with loud music or porn is on a par with them fetching some mislaid items from your garden?

I think perhaps PBG is just venting? ...

You are ad bad as them if you start playing loud music
Get a grip!

I am unhinged. I am sick to fucking death of them doing this. I have tried polite and polite but forceful over and over again and they don't fucking listen.

We needed the washing up gloves? What kind of a fucking excuse is that that means you can't knock or text?

FFS, just go and bloody talk to them!

Vent away, that's what we're here for.

Neighbours, don't you just love 'em!

Can't you prevent access to your back garden?

I am just venting. Of course I'm not going to play porn against the party wall but I'm at my wit's end.

Bear traps?

what is the problem with them just quickly retrieving a pair of gloves? Although how the hell a pair of washing up gloves got into your garden is another matter....

Or make your garden secure.

Whyon earth would they come in and prune your plants and repaint your paving slabs? What kind of lunatic does that?

(answer - clearly my mum's neighbour, who had a tree IN MUM'S GARDEN cut down whilst we were away at a family wedding).

Soupdragon, I have, many times.

I have tried everything I can on my side to make the garden inaccessible. I can't put barbed wire up because of animals, and if they are really willing to jump over a 6 foot fence with a ladder then little else will deter them

padlock on your gate?

How do they get into your garden so easily ? Is there a big gap in a fence/wall ?? Do they have to climb over ?

How do they get in? There must be some sort of access, or do they scale the fence/wall?

SD - their kitchen has a side window which overlooks.

If it were a one off I wouldn't mind (and I didn't the first time with the frisbee), but I am sick to fucking death of the continuous invasion of my space. It's just rude - what is wrong with a quick knock or phone call to say please can I come in?

crikey - great minds and all that

Lol at all the texting and now a thread on the internet!

Yes I'd go for the porn on loudspeaker....all those "Ooh yea babys" are bound to make them see things your way

There is no gap. They lower a ladder from their kitchen window. We have a six foot fence and a fucking rose bush.

Indeed kafayolay