To hope that my neighbour (or his wife) reads this?

[politebutgrumpy]

Hello Mr N and Mrs N

Indeed, hello anyone else who reads this and it reminds them of their own behaviour.

Please STOP FUCKING ENTERING MY FRONT AND BACK GARDENS WITHOUT MY FUCKING PERMISSION.

The first time, with your kids frisbee, I ignored it. Because hey kids throw frisbees.

The next time, when you REPAINTED THE SLABS ON THE PAVING STONES THAT ARE ON MY LAND I ignored it, because I was jet lagged and ill and DP was away and I couldn't handle a row by myself. And then it seemed to late and petty.

But when you PRUNED MY FUCKING PLANTS BACK and we texted you to say no we meant no. Prune from your side all you want but not ours. We like them a bit secret gardeny. Because its how we want it and we own them and the land and it gives us privacy from you.

Don't enter again. When you came in after your washing up gloves fell into our garden and I again asked you to stop I wasn't looking for an apology or an excuse I was looking for absolute confirmation that it would stop.

What you are doing is TRESPASS. It is also FUCKING CREEPY and breaks every social norm people on this cramped little island have.

I am going to get a monitor now so I can spy you entering. I can and I will take legal action. Also, the walls are very thin between my study and your kitchen, so I may consider playing inappropriate music, violent films, pornography etc on loudspeaker at certain times of the day. See how you like your space invaded.

Yours sincerely

PBG

If its karaoke skills you need , I could do "loving you" by Minnie riperton that never fails to get complaints

Don't put barbed wire on your fence as you could be liable to a civil action if someone was injured, even your twatty intrusive neighbours.

Sorry op I'm on my phone and didn't realise things had moved on

Glad you've stopped being bonkers calmed down!

If you use anti vandal paint, I think you need to put a sign up (somewhere on the wall nearby) warning people that it's there. Then you're covered if they try to sue for having ruined their Armani ninja suit or anything.
How about a paintball gun each for you and DH? Then just shoot them as soon as their feet hit the floor in your garden. If they complain, say "but we have a six foot fence and were in our garden. They just appeared down the ladder over the fence without warning and got in the way twenty seven times " It's not like it's a public space
Or snatch the ladder, hack it into pieces with an axe and burn it. If the police arrive, deny everything. How on earth could they explain that they "just happened to lower a ladder out of their window into your garden" and sound sane?

Hmm... I wonder if I've imagined the layout right?

I wonder whether you might be able to put up a porch - type structure (could be pretty light - eg see through corrugated plastic sheeting on a bit of a frame) that went over the top of your back door and would cover the area into which they are dropping the ladder? If there wasn't such a height difference I would be putting up similar over the front of their window (ideally somewhat obscured) so that they still had light (they with have rights to light) but not access... perhaps set a few inches back from the window so that they could still open it but not get out!

Ive got a German Shepherd or 5 who definately would take umbrage at someone scaling down a ladder unintroduced. You can have him.

Failing that I second the idea of a large thorny bush or a porch type structure.

I mean what sort of people apart from burglars scale a ladder to get into a garden anyway!

the porch idea sounds good. a sheet of that corrugated plastic on a couple of fence posts could block their descent without blocking your door?

Holy cow they climb out the kitchen window down a ladder to access your back yard? That is just weird and creepy. Take pictures and tell them you'll call the police if they come in again!

Gorse bushes - evil evil plants. Look nice, orangey yellow flowers.

Oh are you my neighbour?

No, I don't have a ladder but have been known to nip next door to retrieve dog, peg bag, ds's shoe etc.

My neighbour stands on a ladder to clip the ivy growing over his fence. He frightens the life out of me everytime.

To be fair his garden in 3ft lower then mine so although the fence is 6ft on my side it's nearer 9ft on his side.

OP, what you need is a pair of Jack Russell Terriers. They can be vicious. My piano teacher used to have some and they would sit at the top of the stairs, giving me the time it took for them to race downstairs to get from the front door to the music room before they took a chunk out of my ankle. They should put an end to any visits from your neighbours :o

Large holly bushes in pots? Could you put up a gazebo to block the ladder access area?

I like the gazebo idea! If you could get one to fit snugly into the space where they drop their ladder (weirdos) it would block them off and you could still use your door. The roof of the gazebo could catch their random offerings of gloves etc too.

Why don't you just go round there and instead of being "nice and polite" just tell them in a completely neutral, deadpan tone, that it is unacceptable to you that they enter your private property without asking first, and you want them to stop doing it, and that they must ask first. Then stop talking and see what they say. If they say you are making a mountain out of a molehill, say "well be that as it may, it is my garden and I am telling you that I find your actions unacceptable, and asking you to stop. If you persist in doing this after this request, I will have to treat it as intentional trespass to my land and consider taking appropriate action."

Bear in mind that actually getting an injunction/restraining order will cost you a minimum of £25k in legal costs on top of the inconvenience of having to declare the dispute when you sell. I would be annoyed with this neighbour if I were you but I don't think I'd be annoyed enough to start getting legal about it.

Why don't you print off this thread snd put it through their letterbox? That will force matters to a crisis which is what's needed here.

If you do then maybe they will realise it isn't only you who thinks they are trespassing weirdos

put a sign on your gate, have a chardy and chill out

"put a sign on your gate" upthere have you read the thread?!

@ put a sign on your gate.

upthere the neighbours are climbing out of their kitchen window and scaling over the 6 foot fence using a ladder!

MrsKeith - I doubt very much (unless you are Mrs Weirdo) that you would prune your neighbours plants while you pop in there ?

I have told DP that we are going to find a time to go over there together, with a script along Peppin's lines and explain to them it is not acceptable. And repeat this each and every time.

I think I will need some form of monitor because I have no idea how often this happens when we're out, and when they don't leave visible traces.

I am looking into the gazebo idea. The available space, unless we dig out plants is about the length of my arm, so it would have to be long, fairly narrow but sufficiently deep that they can't get a ladder over it and sufficiently fragile that noone would risk jumping straight on to it.

There is nothing we can do about the front garden unfortunately, but that feels (bar the paving slabs painting) less intrusive. I am thinking about getting a trolley and some old white goods and dumping them there!

To be honest, I would settle for doing none of this (I have calmed down now) if I could get a brief, but thorough glimpse into the workings of their minds which makes them think it is sane. Or at least, ok to continue doing it.

apologies
sorry didnt realise full extent of it

contact your local authority

call police?

I am totally useless on a forum after a day with 2 under 4, pls ignore me

no worries upthere!

Steal the ladder when they are out!