To hope that my neighbour (or his wife) reads this?

[politebutgrumpy]

Hello Mr N and Mrs N

Indeed, hello anyone else who reads this and it reminds them of their own behaviour.

Please STOP FUCKING ENTERING MY FRONT AND BACK GARDENS WITHOUT MY FUCKING PERMISSION.

The first time, with your kids frisbee, I ignored it. Because hey kids throw frisbees.

The next time, when you REPAINTED THE SLABS ON THE PAVING STONES THAT ARE ON MY LAND I ignored it, because I was jet lagged and ill and DP was away and I couldn't handle a row by myself. And then it seemed to late and petty.

But when you PRUNED MY FUCKING PLANTS BACK and we texted you to say no we meant no. Prune from your side all you want but not ours. We like them a bit secret gardeny. Because its how we want it and we own them and the land and it gives us privacy from you.

Don't enter again. When you came in after your washing up gloves fell into our garden and I again asked you to stop I wasn't looking for an apology or an excuse I was looking for absolute confirmation that it would stop.

What you are doing is TRESPASS. It is also FUCKING CREEPY and breaks every social norm people on this cramped little island have.

I am going to get a monitor now so I can spy you entering. I can and I will take legal action. Also, the walls are very thin between my study and your kitchen, so I may consider playing inappropriate music, violent films, pornography etc on loudspeaker at certain times of the day. See how you like your space invaded.

Yours sincerely

PBG

Frankie - your neighbours sound even worse if that's possible!

I'm sooo glad the only problems we have are neighbours who chat for ages when you are aware of things you need to be getting on with

Frankie I like little garden mines!

Trespass is a civil issue not a criminal one so the police are unlikely to be interested.

This would drive me nuts too though. From what I remember the last time we moved, the neighbour dispute question can be wider than just legal action ie issues with neighbours. So you may end up declaring it anyway. Someone up thread suggested a stern letter making it clear that they must ask for permission before entering your property no matter what the circumstances - worth it as an opening shot without mentioning lawyers at this stage?

I third the anti-vandal paint. Makes a terrible mess.

consulting deeds regarding wall so I can see if I can use...

Other than that - breed giant venus flytraps in pots and put them at the bottom of their window.

I would be livid if I were in OPs shoes!!

I would take photos of them climbing down the ladder and go to the police and a solicitor.

Want to borrow my dogs? I don't think the neighbours will make the same mistake twice.

next time you see their ladder come into your garden run out quick and move it away. Would be even better if it somehow left them stranded?

You need a dog! Or a goose! A goose would see the buggers off!!!

They come out of their kitchen window via a ladder?????? OMFG!! I cant think of anything constructive to say at the moment :O

buy a shotgun?

DP has suggested that we record me singing, drunkenly, "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard", and setting something up whereby it activates whenever anyone enters the garden.

There is in fact a drunken recording of me singing that song on DPs phone. It certainly scared me, the next morning.

Yanbu.

You have tried the 'shrieking like a banshee' at them?

Good idea :o

seriously I would be shouting at them 'WTF do you think you are doing get out of MY garden NOW' just like I did to my neighbour who though it was ok to stand on his shed roof and throw his rubbish bags behind my shed o_O

You could get a catapult and sone nice ball bearings!

I liked the bear trap idea...

They sound absolutely ridiculous and I think that the solicitor's letter is the safest option (although I don't know anything about disputes/sale of house thingy)

Either that or yes, put something very unpleasant/unstable where they drop their ladder. It's full on trespass, they can't do that!

Your neighbours are insane. We put trellis up because I thought you can't climb over them using ladders!!
I'm favouring the paddling pool full of manky water.
Netting above the trellis to stop things falling into your garden from their side?

Super soaker at the ready for when they bob up. I'd be furious too and would more than likely be screeching like a banshee.

I vote for
a) the anti-vandal paint
B) moving the ladder as soon as you see it
C ) taking photographs

I would send them copies of pictures of them on my land and send it with a letter along the lines.... .'regretfully you have ignored my previous repeated requests that you stop trespassing on my property....I don't want this matter to escalate.....remain keen to continue to have a friendly and positive relationship...you leave me with no option.....if it happens again I will pass this photo and my log of previous incidents to my solicitor.....I am sure we would all prefer to not have to go down that route as we enjoy living here and we all want our relationship to continue.....

Ok, plans made

1. For the rest of the summer we are entering our garden via the back window (not as wierd as it sounds, its waist height and opens wide). This means we can put a paddling pool filled to the brim with detritis (nasty water,and worse) by the back door. We will buy a big pool so they can't put the ladder down without going through it.

1. I will put up a sign saying By entering this space you are consenting to be filmed, or whatever it is they have in public places.

1. Little garden mines full of water.

1. Some sort of alarm system that makes an awful racket, either like me singing or like me shouting "fucky creepy neighbour get the fuck out of my space"

1. Borrow a dog. Keep it in garden.

My grandmother had an Alsation. When she was burgled he did absolutely nothing.

Pagwatch - I agree, that's what I'll probably do.

But the imature bit of me wants them to get all manky in nasty water and have to listen to my singing!

yeah. I would be the same.

how about some Trellis on top of fence - as then if they put ladder up it will prob collapse said trellis anyway and they might not want to risk bruises again and/or reimbursing you for damage? Worked for my Mum and then we grew some lovely very thorny thing w pretty flowers up it to further discourage !

"we can put a paddling pool filled to the brim with detritis (nasty water,and worse) by the back door. We will buy a big pool so they can't put the ladder down without going through it."

That will stink, and will attract wildlife that you may not want...

I would go for the anti vandal paint definately, and steal the ladder if it makes an appearance.

You have to get a photo of them climbing out onto this ladder though and put it on here!