To hope that my neighbour (or his wife) reads this?

[politebutgrumpy]

Hello Mr N and Mrs N

Indeed, hello anyone else who reads this and it reminds them of their own behaviour.

Please STOP FUCKING ENTERING MY FRONT AND BACK GARDENS WITHOUT MY FUCKING PERMISSION.

The first time, with your kids frisbee, I ignored it. Because hey kids throw frisbees.

The next time, when you REPAINTED THE SLABS ON THE PAVING STONES THAT ARE ON MY LAND I ignored it, because I was jet lagged and ill and DP was away and I couldn't handle a row by myself. And then it seemed to late and petty.

But when you PRUNED MY FUCKING PLANTS BACK and we texted you to say no we meant no. Prune from your side all you want but not ours. We like them a bit secret gardeny. Because its how we want it and we own them and the land and it gives us privacy from you.

Don't enter again. When you came in after your washing up gloves fell into our garden and I again asked you to stop I wasn't looking for an apology or an excuse I was looking for absolute confirmation that it would stop.

What you are doing is TRESPASS. It is also FUCKING CREEPY and breaks every social norm people on this cramped little island have.

I am going to get a monitor now so I can spy you entering. I can and I will take legal action. Also, the walls are very thin between my study and your kitchen, so I may consider playing inappropriate music, violent films, pornography etc on loudspeaker at certain times of the day. See how you like your space invaded.

Yours sincerely

PBG

How about a pile of large pebbles where they would put the ladder? To make it too unstable to put it down?

Rather than a many pool, could you plant bamboo there? It's very fast growing and can get quite high ,once it's 7-8 feet they just wouldn't be able to get the ladder over it methinks.

They sound insane. How do you think they'd react to you going round and 'pruning' all the flowers off their plant?

I have a friend who lived in an apartment block in Richmond and when I went to visit her she told me to move my car from the position I'd put it in in the parking bay because her neighbour wouldn't like it.

I gave that short shrift until she opened a window and pointed out the CCTV-type camera that her neighbour had trained on the space he considered "his" (it was open to the public as pay parking) and in which I had parked. Apparently he would go totally nutso whenever he came home to find any car had parked there.

I think this rather extreme but goes to show obviously you can get a camera to monitor this stuff if you want to. But do you want to come home from work every day to sit down to watching the day's comings and goings over your fence?

Why are they lowering the ladder down from the kitchen rather than bringing it out of a ground floor room?

When they get to the top of your fence do they jump the rest of the way, or do they lower the ladder down your side?

How about doing a vine climbing style trellis between your house and fence? ie horizontal wires from above your back door that attach to top of fence.

Peppin, my DP plays Mass Effect. I can't say that with a glass of wine this would be any more boring

I would happily steal the ladder, but they don't leave it out!

If a gazebo won't fit what about a small tent or arbour (which you could then cover with thorny roses)?

Can you create a "sandpit" right where they would put the ladder and walk? Then you would have footprints for evidence.

Of course you would have to rake the sand smooth every day in a zen garden meditative way, which would have added stress relieving benefits.

And you would make a lot of new cat friends.

What about something like this?
Otherwise, I recommend my original suggestion. Pyracantha. Easily trimmed with hedge clippers, but awful if you fall in it!

OP - I have every sympathy!

I've read their explanations for why they do what they do, but what do they actually say when you tell them they are not to go in your garden for any reason without your permission?

www.wickes.co.uk/clear-pvcu-corrugated-sheet-24m/invt/240152/

maybe something like this to make an awning type thing from your house to the fence? It's not strong enough to stand on and wouldn't block any light.

The ladder definitely is a step too far! I searched for this type of topic as neighbour came onto my garden yesterday while everyone was at work and chainsaw pruned our back garden privet hedge back to the wood, the only saving grace is mad as it sounds I think he believed he was actually doing us a favour. It is now virtually leafless and reduced by over a foot to about four feet high and hacked back within our own garden by about a foot making the fence post to our picket fencing inside the garden to keep the dogs out of the veg patch/ chickens in completely ridiculous, have had to barricade the foot wide gap between fence post and hedge where it has been cut away. Also when feeding said chickens in morning in my nightdress am now in full view of neighbour's garages and privacy majorly reduced.

I love my garden and try really hard to make it as nice as I can, now the hedge looks awful, am so p!ssed off and everytime I see it am p!ssed off again, it is a one off though and going to try and stop my resentment/ bad feeling building up by popping round tonight to ask him nicely not to touch it again, hopefully will go well and be able to keep in how annoyed I am about him attacking my garden as don't want to fall out, if it was happening often I would tell them in no uncertain terms I am not happy about it and be very clear. Some people do not understand subtle hints and have completely different ideas about what is appropriate or desirable. Crazy effort on his part as he probably spent hours working on it for us and disposing of the clippings and thought we would be happy about it. The more you let these things go on the more they believe its ok. I don't want to hurt feelings if possible to avoid that, generally relations are very good but need to make my feelings clear as if it happens again I don't think I could be polite about it, hedge take almost a year to recover I think as it is, will feed it up tonight?.

CountryCob - the amazing thing about privet is that it will soon be back in a nice hedge again for you. I had a lanky, 6' hedge in the front garden between me and the neighbours in a previous house and I cut it down to about 3" (having warned them first) and regrew it into a much thicker, less lanky, more appropriate hedge for a front garden. So don't despair, it will regrow for you.

I am that Mr or Mrs StrangeNeighbour would drop the gloves out the window then trill, 'darling, help me with the ladder theirs a lamb, I need to climb into next door's garden to get the gloves'. Or 'I'm just going to prune back PBGs plants, they look so untaidy dontcha know' - and the other person doesn't say anything!

If I mentioned doing anything like this to DH, he'd think I was unhinged. I'm sure their kids must be mortified!

Thanks Mistlethrush here's hoping, just over 5 foot would be fine between the back gardens so it doesn't need to grow much, do you remember how long it took yours to bounce back? Do think I need to nicely say tonight while its recent please don't do it again, its more all the hacking back inside our own garden I don't understand...

I am seething inside Tiggytape been angry about it for hours, its just that I don't want a neighbour dispute have had that before and it made things horrible. Also I know there is very little that you can do to stop this sort of thing legally even if it is wrong. They were very welcoming when we moved to the village and this is the best home we can afford so bar a lottery win we are not moving, they are not going anywhere either so think we need to try to keep things nice. I am going round this evening though and would be there today if not at work which is probably a good thing as get to calm down about it and vent to avoid having too much of a "what were you thinking have you seen the state of the hedge/ picket fence in our garden now blocked with old kitchen end panel" go at them, it was too late last night to do anything about it.

Politebutgrumpy sorry for hijacking the thread, I think the best option is a large stone/ boulder garden feature or pots which make the crazy ladder unsafe although I also like the garden bombs/ paint ideas and you have my sympathy, definitely not being unreasonable

My parents did get upset talk to their neighbors repeatedly never made a difference. They had to find disincentives and very vigorous plants.

My neighbor is doing it partly to cause an argument she wants a stand up row - apparently it drives her mad we just shrug and get on with things. I also don't want to set her off while I'm by myself with the DC - she is much worse then and I don't need the hassle or want to deal with more expensive and harder to fix damage.

In both cases it just easier to find ways to make the behavior more difficult.

So sometimes the neighbors don't get the issue other times they are not open to reason.

Hmm they have been sane so far (over a year) so think I have to give it a try to let him know not ok to hack away inside my garden and would like some privacy thanks, why are some people so weird?

Countrycob - I wouldn't put it past it putting 6" on by the end of the year, although it might be a bit shell shocked at the moment and take longer - however, it really won't take that long. Best thing to do with it from now on is to regularly take the tips off - will end up nice and bush and not all stalky - I didn't even bother picking up the clippings on my side because I took them off at a stage where they rotted down very quickly (and to be fair the ground there was very poor as there was a big prunus tree too, so anything extra adding to the soil was positive!)

CountryCob - my parents neighbors always apologized and always did it again - but never got upset or off with my parents.

My neighbor has now tried climbing a ladder to get over the 2 m fence we put up on our higher side to spray weed killer on our plants - thankful to limited effect. She also damaged our fence and now complains it looks unsightly - last year they took their lower fence panel off their fence in places to reach under our new fence which at that time wasn't touching our ground and cut anything they could get to with what looked like shears. It's a fence that increase their privacy as well so they really are cutting of their noses.

I feel we are way past reason. I'm trying hard not to worry about damage they'll cause when we are away on our holiday or when we finally get sorted and put the house on the market.

Thanks mistlethrush that's good advice, fingers crossed for the chat tonight!

Xayide your neighbours sound crazy hopefully they will keep their heads down when you sell

CountryCob I know you are angry and its no consolation but I did laugh at the 'old kitchen end panel'.... maybe it might make him realise that the bush was his better bet

I know oldraver hasn't neated things up at all has it! Is funny really, as going to have to pay a visit though to set things straight before he starts coming round to do any more voluntary DIY! Am probably calmer as not seen the hedge for a few hours....