About brothers "girlfriend" coming to my daughter's christening

[Birdiegirl]

I have only one brother and I asked him to be Godfather to our DD, she is our only child (not sure that matters but just to give you the full picture)

Anyway DB has decided to emigrate to Australia and should be gone by September. The christening is next Subday so no problems there.

The issue is my DB is shagging a 19 year old, he is 34. He has told me that he's only going out with this girl to fill in time until he leaves and once he goes to Aus it will be over.

He asked to bring her to the christening and DH and said we'd prefer if he didn't because (a) she's far too young for him in our opinion, (b) it's only a temporary thing and (c) we've never met her and the christening is a family occasion with only a couple of very close friends.

Now my brother is saying if he can't bring this girl then he won't go either. And my reply has been well if you don't come to your only niece's christening you'll never see her or me again.

So am I being unreasonable, should I back down and let him bring her?

Please be gentle, thanks.

You've asked him to be Godfather. He should take that as a real honour and trying to bribe you into letting his GF come by saying he won't come is not right.
That said, the age gap is irrelevant, however unsavoury you find it. It's his relationship and they are both consenting adults.
Maybe if you make it clear to him that it is because it is an intimate family occasion that you don't want her to come as he has told you she is temporary and not because of her age.

I'm not sure you should have given him such an ultimatum but I would certainly be reconsidering wanting him as my childs Godfather if he is prepared to put a temporary girlfriend over his neice and sister.

You could say to your brother that if she wants to come and meet the family his gf can come to the church (after all, it's a public service) but that it she won't be able to come to your house/party/whatever you are doing afterwards. If you're paying and catering for people it's up to you!

I don't think you should back down in not letting her come but I would renege on your ultimatum though - it's not worth falling out over for life!

Good luck! Families for you!

Well I think your both being naughty to be honest. Maybe this 19 year old lady could knock some sense into both of you!

Yes Comma, I do understand.
I was just taking your comment as a starting point to say to the OP that the brother should no longer be invited to be a godfather since he cannot do the job from Australia.

Have you ever thought he might be trying to talk himself into this girl being 'disposable' to protect himself from heartache in September.

Presumably she knows he is emigrating so is fully aware of wht she is getting herself in to.