I do not understand why people have kids when they can not afford them.

[sea74]

I know this topic will create lots of critics but i want to share my thoughts and see if anyone agrees or i am the odd one out.
I come from a european country where the fertility rate is 1.4 that is each woman/family has 1.4 child. Grandparents very often are the to help, but women (and men) are responsible enough not to have children if they can not afford them or look after them.
I grew up thinking that i want children not because i want them for me but because i have to donate life and their life must be a good life. Children are not mine but they are individuals.

Having said that, when i moved to the UK, i realised how things are different.
I feel that many people think children will not change their lives, they get pregnant easily, they do not really worry too much (and take contraception) in order to avoid pregnancies.
Then, when they have the child, you see that often these children live in broken families, or the single mothers do not have 50 pounds to buy them a decent meal, or they are left in front of the tv all summer because they had not planned childcare is expensive and grandparents live far.

Children should be planned carefully, i think and it is very selfish to have them without thinking of (and being ready for) the consequences.

So what should we do if the situation arises that we cannot afford our kids anymore ?? Do you want us to sell them?

YES PLEASE

Just for sex, mind you, I don't want to have to talk to them or go for romantic walks.

The Op comes from that mythical place known as ShitStirrerLand.
I'd bed my 1.4 child on it.

I am one of those that the OP speaks of.

I have a happy, well adjusted child who has a broken family. I am currently in the process of spawning my next money eating statistic.

I had children because I love them. I want a family around me in old age. I want all the joys that children can bring. Somedays I want to run for the hills but isnt that part of it.

Im not sure what the OP is insinuating about people in the UKs motivations for having kids.

But I think if your home country is so effing fantabulous OP, then you have two choices, plane or ferry.

'the best option where it is available'.

Is that alright?

OP, did you mean that to sound so rude?

I'd gladly sell my son today. Threenager here. Anyone want him? Not quite potty trained, constantly contrary, addicted to Dora.

Any takers?

According to the latest UN stats on fertility rates there are only 2 countries with a rate of 1.4. So she's either from Serbia or Italy or she telling porkies.

Oh, and the UK rate has increased to 1.91. So we're closer to the optimum level for societal stability. There have been serious concerns within the EU over recent years as to how to increase the rate to 2.1 (optimal level). We're clearly doing our bit, unlike these feckless other countries who put their own needs above the needs of their society as a whole :o

I will swap with my teenager Tee. But only if you pay the deposit for her trip to Iceland.

I'm still tapping my foot here wandering what the hell a broken family is.

That was bet BTW,

We have one and we're planning another. We don't generally spend £50 on a meal though. Is this where I'm going wrong? Maybe if we did I'd only be able to afford another 0.4 children rather than a whole one.

Sorry, GO...totally skint this month.

Oh yes - I was looking at rates for 2009

SHOULD MARY HAVE HAD JESUS? OR AN ABORTION?

Ooops! sorry for shouting

Don't like it here? Go home.

puds noooooo! Don't let idiots like the OP have the slightest iota of headroom! I'm sure you're an ace parent to your DD.

OP, mum was a single parent (always worked, very well paid job, claimed nothing, ever, apart from child benefit. Not seen darling daddy for thirty years).
I'm a graduate, good job, married with one child. Again, never claimed a penny apart from CB and DS wants for nothing.
Of course, according to you, the whole world would be better if there were fewer people like me around, despite the fact that as a family we have paid in tax far more than we have taken out.
But of course all single mothers are the same aren't they, and as such would be much better off having abortions.

Obviously you are not concerned about the feelings of single parents, but has it not occurred to you how massively offensive you are being to the children of single parents, as well? Better off aborted? Do you really hate us that much?

Unfortunately this happens all too often. Men can simply up sticks and never pay anything towards their children and there's no real method of recourse. I don't think you can blame these single parents for broken families.

My XP was great until I got to about 7.5 months and then went to pieces, jacked his job in and went out drinking every night. Once the baby came he wouldn't work, wouldn't look after DS so that I could work (GP were working and too busy to help out). This was back in the days before we had tax credits and help with childcare, so was more complicated for single mums.

In the end XP used to take my money and piss it up the wall, he would get weed on tick and send his dealer round to get the money off me.

I was not allowed to go out anywhere or have a break from DS. Then I found out that XP was nobbing some slapper behind my back.

Life doesn't always turn out the way you expect it too! I think OP is being a bit U, but more naive than anything.

What about people who become ill, or have an accident and can't work? How do you know these people couldn't afford children when they actually decided to have them?

I think a lot of people (in countries like the uk where contraception is free and easy to obtain) Don't take having kids seriously enough. I know so so many people that either don't use contraception of use it poorly. I can't understand it really.

PP, you say that your mother claimed nothing extra, other than CB which is available to all.
Much though I dislike the OP's general attitude, she would point out that she is disapproving of those that have children and can't afford them without claiming a lot of additional support from the state.
So your family aren't in her sights.

But krumbum's family like mine would be classed as broken.