I do not understand why people have kids when they can not afford them.

[sea74]

I know this topic will create lots of critics but i want to share my thoughts and see if anyone agrees or i am the odd one out.
I come from a european country where the fertility rate is 1.4 that is each woman/family has 1.4 child. Grandparents very often are the to help, but women (and men) are responsible enough not to have children if they can not afford them or look after them.
I grew up thinking that i want children not because i want them for me but because i have to donate life and their life must be a good life. Children are not mine but they are individuals.

Having said that, when i moved to the UK, i realised how things are different.
I feel that many people think children will not change their lives, they get pregnant easily, they do not really worry too much (and take contraception) in order to avoid pregnancies.
Then, when they have the child, you see that often these children live in broken families, or the single mothers do not have 50 pounds to buy them a decent meal, or they are left in front of the tv all summer because they had not planned childcare is expensive and grandparents live far.

Children should be planned carefully, i think and it is very selfish to have them without thinking of (and being ready for) the consequences.

"the single mothers do not have 50 pounds to buy them a decent meal,"

£50 for a meal? It's no wonder all these feckless single mothers can't afford childcare if they are spending £50 on a meal!

Getorf damn right its been a while. About 3 weeks innit?

Why not start with all those starving children in Africa first OP?
They don't even have TV sets.

You had double your ration buthis. What were you thinking.

Thank the lord you don't live in Another European Country because you would be in trouble.

I thought that Sassybeast - we don't have the £50 we need to feed our kids a proper meal ??

sea74

That is not the point of discussion...

The point of discussion is where I choose to point it on a public board [grin}

As you were, the Greeks are putting their children in orphanages because they can't feed them. Because they can't manage their economy.

I wish this topic had the picture posting thing on it.

OP start it again in the 'What can you see topic'.

The current trend is to repeat the classics in a 'I am a stranger to this land where I am not being familiar with things, though I seem to be able to switch that on and off at will.'

or am I confusing that with a different well hammered bore fest?

OP - may I just say, your post is one of the most ridiculous thing I've read in a long time.

I understand the general point - but when you say 'afford', you're talking finacial costs. What makes you think having money makes you the ideal parent? And more importantly, where do you draw the line - at what point can you 'afford' to have children? When you can serve up a plate of diamonds alongside their £50 'decent meal'? When you can afford a few good Christmas presents? When they have a roof over their head and comfy bed to sleep in at night?

It's unfortunate but true that there are many children both in this country and around the world that are living under the poverty line. You need food, water, clothing, shelter - and I'd argue that a loving family comes a close fifth on that list.

Also, your point about 'broken families' is ridiculous - what on earth is a broken family? Would you care to enlighten me?

Sea74 - so what is the point of your discussion then?

Do you think that's how they get the .4 GerOrf? They share out the extras?
Yes, every child should be loved and cared for and nurtured OP, but I have seen extreme emotional abuse and neglect at the very wealthy end of the spectrum too.

Well, if that is the prevailing attitude which I very much doubt in a society with a fertility rate of 1.4, at least it is self-limiting. It won't take too many generations before there isn't anybody left.

I wonder if the OP would be friends with the moron who posted a great big list of complaints about feckless mothers on benefits who had the temerity to buy pre-cut fruits from the supermarket.

I had one child. Where can I get the 0.4 child that I am short of?

Oh yes, have a .

If all children all planned the birth rate would be even lower.

The other European countries also have a problem with replacing the active population. 1.4 is way lower than what is necessary (>2) and this is creating a problem with the increasingly larger retired population.

Having children can be a good thing. :o

PS - I am from one of those countries with a very low birth rate, BTW.

I think the majority of people do consider whether or not they can afford a child before having one. There are a few people who are over reliant on benefits who keep having children much to delight of the Daily Mail. However, that's an over publicised minority.

£50 would buy you an awful lot of precut fruit and ready grated cheese.

It might be the poster who told poor people to buy cheap bread.

I might put mine in an orphanage and put the £50 fillet steak budget towards me new plasma.

I have two words for you OP. The second being off.

Are you bored or something? I suggest you put the tv on and plan your £50 meal

[goat]

I am wondering which utopian euro-country the OP hails from.

I may move there and get rid of the spare 0.6 of my children that I clearly cannot afford.

I had one child. Where can I get the 0.4 child that I am short of?

look you're in the UK, you need .7 of a child, I can offer you a bit of one of mine, do you want the left or the right, the top or the bottom bit?

What are you supposed to do with your TVs when you become a single parent? Me and DS have got one huge flatscreen. It was bought when exP was around but now I am a single parent, do I have to sell it? Or can I keep it as long as I don't use it for childcare?