To be irritated that my friend is selling clothes I gave to her on ebay?

[girlafraid]

She has a DS 6 months younger than mine. I pass on DSs clothes which are in good nick. I'm pretty good at getting stuff in the sales so it's mostly Boden, Scandi stuff, John Lewis.... nice things.

Her DS wears the stuff and I'm glad it gets used.... but I've just noticed that she's selling the stuff her DS has grown out of on ebay. She did ask me a while ago what I wanted her to do with the stuff when finished with and I asked her to take it to the charity shop.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off about this?

It'd nark me right off, op. Yabu!

To be fair she did ask you what you wanted her to do with them. You saying 'give it to the charity shop' could be in interpreted as 'I don't really mind but I don't need them back'.

YANBU, if you requested it go to a charity shop, then it should. Unless you think she is really struggling financially, I'd stop giving her your DS's things, or giving her the cheaper brand stuff and then giving the mini Boden etc stuff to the charity shop of your choice.

It would irritate me too but a gift is given with no strings attached.

Oh bloody hell. Yanbu. Stupid autocorrect.

Yeah that would annoy me. I pass clothes on to friends, and always ask that they pass anything on afterwards (that is good enough) to the women's refuge, unless they know someone who needs it.

I'd be pee'd off too.

Depending on how much you value her friendship, you could always ask her how much she has raised FOR CHARITY by selling your bits on ebay

You gave them freely with no intention of wanting them back. Surely that means she can do as she likes with them after they're no longer useful? She probably assumed by your answer that she could do as she liked as long as you didn't have them back.
There are more important things in the world to worry about than someone making a few quid on ebay.

YAbu. You gave her the stuff she asked you what you wanted to do with them so you said charity shop. It's up to her once you give the clothes to her what to do with them. If you wanted them back you should have told het so that you can pass them on to charity. There are threads on here about charity shops who are ungrateful and who do not want donations, so if she can make a little bit of money to buy her dc some more clothes so what!

If you did that to me I'd take it that you didn't care what happened to them and tbh if she is using second hand stuff then selling it it's because she needs the money - ebaying is a nightmare!!!

What would you rather a friend has a few quid or a charity has 50p and a stranger sells them on eBay?

I was going to write that YANBU, that I would be irritated too unless she is really hard up. She is getting the benefit of not having to buy clothes for her kid and then she is selling them on and making a bit of cash too.

However I remembered that I sell on my kids clothes once they've grown out of them, some of them were presents. I'm open about this to relatives and say that I buy some of the kids clothes from ebay and NNS. I get real bargains, I'm trying not to spend a lot on clothes as money is tight and I have 3 kids to clothe and I don't get hand me downs.

I also pass things on to others as well, I don't mind what they do with them. Pass them on or sell them at NNS.

Sorry, after al of that YANBU to be a bit miffed but I don't think she is BU.

A lot of charity shop stuff gets ebayed by buyers don't be mistaken in thinking it all goes to a good cause.

Interesting how many posters are construing a "take them to the charity shop" in direct response to being asked what to do with them afterwards as "sell them on eBay if you like, I don't care". Why did she bother asking if she wasn't going to do what you wanted with them afterwards? YADNBU.

Erm, if you've given them to her then they are hers to do with as she wishes. If you want them to go to a charity shop afterwards then you should have asked for them back so that you could take them.

YABVU

It's all a bit proprietorial getting your knickers in a knot beause they hadn't been given to a charity shop.

You.gave.them.away.

They don't belong to you anymore.

sam - I think it because it's what I say - "don't mind - charity shop go all I care"

If she is in need of the money, it wouldnt bother me.

She probably like a lot of people thought you meant it loosely.

I dont understand why you think you can dictate what people do with stuff you have given them.

Why would you rather a charity benefit from the clothes, than your friend?

Dont give away stuff if you cant handle what people do with them afterwards!

YABU, you had the chance to take them back and sell them yourself if you'd wanted to. Just coz she's thought of this and you didn't isn't her fault.

I've had some handmedowns of larger items and it's quite clear to me that should I sell them after I've finished with them, the money should go back to the person I got the item from becuase they bought it and I'm getting it for free.

OTOH I don't need the money...

Tis definitely not about the money, if it was I'd have sold them myself

I prefer to give things away so a charity shop can make some money and also sell items cheaply. If she hadn't asked me what to do with them I couldn't complain but when I said "Take them to the charity shop" I meant "Take them to the charity shop" rather than "Interpret the following statement in whichever way suits you best".....

Nevertheless a gift is a gift and all that & we're only talking about some 3rd hand baby clothes, but I think I'll be donating stuff direct next time.

That would irritate me too. I am intrigued as to how you found out the items were on eBay though. Is there another friend stirring the pot?

Just make your point by not giving her any more. Yanbu, by the way.

OMG they are THRID hand baby clothes she is hardly mint from selling them on e bay. get over it.