To be irritated that my friend is selling clothes I gave to her on ebay?

[girlafraid]

She has a DS 6 months younger than mine. I pass on DSs clothes which are in good nick. I'm pretty good at getting stuff in the sales so it's mostly Boden, Scandi stuff, John Lewis.... nice things.

Her DS wears the stuff and I'm glad it gets used.... but I've just noticed that she's selling the stuff her DS has grown out of on ebay. She did ask me a while ago what I wanted her to do with the stuff when finished with and I asked her to take it to the charity shop.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off about this?

Yabu. Just for using the word 'Scandi'.

It's quite reasonable to be disappointed someone is profiting from your generosity. I would think it out of order and wouldn't do it myself either
Am puzzled as to why 'give' is now interpreted as 'sell and keep the money' by so many on here
Anyway, not much you can do about it, not worth mentioning, and I wouldn't think much of the other friend who is stirring, either

It wouldn't bother me. If someone wants to make money out of what I'd given them, good luck to them. Perhaps they need the money more than I do, or I'd have sold them myself. Once you have given something away for keeps you have no say over what happens to it.

Is your friend hardup? If not, I'd still give her handdowns, but specifically say, can you give them back to me when you're done with them. Then you can pass them to charity.

Otherwise, let her do with them as she wants.

I imagine when you said "Take them to the charity shop" she interpreted that as "I don't care what you do with them."
I think YAB a little U.

It would be nice if she gave you half the profits.

I don't think you are BU to feel a bit pee'd off.

did you GIVE them to her (YABU) or LEND them to her (YANBU)?

a friend of mine did this, i gave her quite a few larger baby items all in fantastic condition, and she sold them on. i must admit it did stop me giving her anything else as in my eyes she didn't appreciate it

have you questioned the motives of the friend who told you she was selling on ebay? Are they trying to shit stir?

YANBU - I wouldn't expect a friend to do this, especially if I had told her to give them to a charity shop when asked.

Well the friend had the decency to ask, op did not say to the friend here are some clothes when you have finished with them I would really appreciate it if you give them to charity I would take what the op has said as do what you wish with them. For th record the friend will not get that much for tem

YABU because of this conversation:

Her: what should I do with the clothes Do you want the clothes back?

You: give them to charity Just get rid, I don't want them back.

FWIW I gave a good friend a bundle of baby clothes. I could have sold them, but I wanted to be nice to my friend. I specifically told her to Ebay them if she wanted. Why should your friend not benefit from your gift - is that not the whole point of a gift?

She's hardly rolling in loot if she's selling third hand baby clothes online now is she?

YANBU. I find it a bit grasping to sell on stuff given to you. I feel like it should be passed on for free if not donated to charity shops.

How old's your DS? I freaking love scandi stuff, give it all to me instead, I have friends with a DS a year younger than mine who gets all his stuff and I'll be happy to do the honourable...

YABU - they aren't yours anymore since you gave them away. Nothing like having a friend who gives gifts with strings attached eh! If you were that concerned about them you would have asked her to return them after she had used thm.

The point is, the OP could have sold them herself on ebay and made some money. Instead she made a gift of them to her friend. The right thing for her friend to do now is to give them freely to someone else.

"Why should your friend not benefit from your gift - is that not the whole point of a gift?"

No, the point of the gift was to save the friend some money by letting her have the baby clothes for free, not to enable the friend to actually turn a profit like some money-grabbing bastard.

if she uses them to buy more baby clothes isn't that using your gift to her in the most efficient way?

lots of charity shops don't take baby clothes anyway

Charity begins at home.

unless they are proper designer labels (burberry, RL etc) she will get very little for them anyway - though Scandi stuff sells well.

I don't think I would mind, If I give something to somebody they can pretty much do what ever they want with it.

hackmum - the point of the gift was to save the friend some money by letting her have the baby clothes for free, not to enable the friend to actually turn a profit like some money-grabbing bastard

You might want to calm down a little, you sound like a complete fruit loop.

And WTF is Scandi stuff?

Once you have given something away it is no longer yours.