to lock DH out tonight and consider asking him to move out permanently

[binrel]

This afternoon me and the dds and my brother who is visiting because he is on holiday from university were in the garden just playing football. DH came home early from work and he was clearly already in a bad mood and joined in. My brother then started teasing him whilst they were playing football against each other and he started doing these twists and turns with the ball whilst goading him. He then gave the ball to dd, the next time he got the ball DH charged towards him and leapt off the ground before tackling him. DH's feet went into my brothers leg just above the ankle and my brother's ankle bent in a horrible looking way.

My brother's was in agony on the floor and DH got up and shouted there you go you little twat before storming off into the car and away. I had to call an ambulance as my brother was in so much pain, the dds were also very distressed (they adore my brother). He got taken to hospital and he has suffered partial tear to his ankle ligaments. It's going to take 2-3 months for him to recover. I'm so furious with him for what he has done and the way that he charged over to him with such malice and viscousness, it was obviously not an accident. He went without his house keys I feel like locking the door so he can't come in tonight and I'm really questioning our relationship after this. He has deliberately hurt my brother who I love and so do the dds and they were both hysterical after it. Also we can't afford to go on holiday this year I thought having him stay for 10 days would at least give them something to look forward to this summer and he's done this.

'there you go you little twat' - would have been just as relevant if what the DH had intended to do was knock the BiL onto his backside (football is played as a contact sport in all its forms).

The DH didnt know he had injured BiL until much later by which point it is perfectly possible (given that he had 'stormed off' to friends) that he had been drinking so couldnt rush back & possibly wasnt thinking straight.

The thing is we dont know.

Anyfucker - Do you always justify unprovoked violence as a "mental health issue", Glass ?

Could you show me where I said the OP's husband was justified?

Can you show me where else I have "always" justified violence on other threads with the term "mental health issues".

Crikey... talk about sticking words in peoples mouths

I didn't say you always did it, I asked you if you did

Hopefully you don't (but I wouldn't bet my last fiver on it)

He didn't know he injured him even though the db was rolling around in agony on the floor?

And what about the fact that he still hadnt apologised thus morning.

'there you go you little twat' - would have been just as relevant if what the DH had intended to do was knock the BiL onto his backside (football is played as a contact sport in all its forms).

Who does this in front of their children?

He NOW knows the extent of the injury he caused. binrel TOLD him.

he has done NOTHING about it. Silence. Zip, Nada Niente, Nichts.

the H feels entitled to have done it. It's been too long now. He's now showing who he really is

"- No one knows what the DH's intention was when he went in for the tackle"

I don't care for football, but one of the few things I did learn at my father's knee was that if you go into a tackle with your foot high as described, that it is a deliberate attempt to cause serious injury.

Job done in this case.

binrel,have there never been any incidents before yesterday that DH have done,that made you think he could have a temper or a nasty streak?

Has he spoken to you since he finished work OP?

Well it is possible that at first OPs husband thought that her brother, continuing the football theme was rolling around in faux agony.

But he does now know that he has been badly injured.

I'm not buying this "didn't know how hurt he was" defence. If someone has torm ligaments they will be in utter agony and you could not possibly mistake it for football melodramatics he would almost certainly be shrieking and have tears in his eyes.

What has he said tnoght?

tonight

Sorry I've been away, his girlfriends been to pick him up and take him back to where he goes to university. DH is bringing a take away and a bottle of wine and so we'll discuss everything this evening. I thought it best to get them out of the way as she's fiery at the best of time and would almost certainly have launched a volley at DH which would have made things worse. Still feel awful to be honest.

oh binrel

Are you sure that the girlfriend having a go at DH really would have made things worse? I'm sorry love but he sounds like a total wanker and a bully to top. Do you really want to show your kids that this is an acceptable way to behave?

Hope you're OK - you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about - THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT

if i were you, i wouldnt open that bottle of wine or touch that takeaway until you have discussed exactly what happened.

your husband should feel awful but im afraid that it doesnt sound as though he does and you sound like you are about to be bought off with wine and a chinese.
if my DH had done this, i would be fucking livid. you sound bewildered and like you would rather just forget the whole thing tbh - i may be wrong.
your DB girlfriend has every justification at launching a volley at your husband - he has committed an assault that would have almost certainly landed him in some hot water had your brother reported the assault to police - im a police officer and he would have had some serious explaining to do had your DB reported it.

he has got off very very lightly if you brother doesnt - but have you thought aobut how you are ever going to feel at future family occasions?

your posts have been very brief, you havent said if he has ever done anything like this before or what your DH has actually said about the whole sorry mess......of course thats entirely your perogative - but i think you are possibly regretting this thread now.....???
bottom line is what ever the reason your DH was so out of line that a bottle of wine ,a chinese and a chat just wouldnt cut it for me.

what actually are your thoughts on this? who do you see as being at fault? have you thought about what you actually want to happen next?

I have a dh who was a very good semi pro footballer and I've heard tales of debts being settled on the pitch when he played at weekends plus those that have been played out professionally [see Roy Keane and Alf Inge Haaland]. I would say what happened at your house is deep seated between your dh and brother, your dh giving out some kind of retribution so to speak, is there history between them? Your dh is hugely in the wrong in any case for doing this especially to hos BiL.

I'm glad this has been sorted out. Accidents can happen when playing football and things get a bit rough. You shouldn't feel bad about it.

I would lay off the wine before the talk. He has already shown he can be aggressive. If he is still stressed, gets wound up again discussing it don't add alcohol into the mix.

Did he know your DB had gone before he was getting the take away & wine?

The cynical part of me is equating this to bringing home the wife flowers and wine when you have done something wrong or that he doesn't give a shit what he has done.

How can he have any stomach for food & drink coming home to face his wife after this

"The cynical part of me is equating this to bringing home the wife flowers and wine when you have done something wrong or that he doesn't give a shit what he has done. "

exactly how i read it too.

It seems a bit strange to me that you are going to discuss his assault of your brother over a cosy bottle of wine and a takeaway! Have you forgiven him already without even discussing it.

Let's hope he doesn't think a takeaway and a bottle of wine will mollify his wife after his truly awful behaviour

I wonder if he will bring the children some sweeties too ?