to not ask my DD to quieten down

[humptyhump]

This has happened on a few occasions now.
My DD can be quite noisy when we are at soft play/activity centre, she is very vocal in her playing, squeals and screeches when she's excited etc
However my friend who I usually attend the places with (with her DS) always makes comments on how loud she is, sometimes she says it in a jokey way 'oh your so loud haha' and other times she makes comments on how she's got a headache
AIBU to not tell my DD, we are at play centres surely this is the place where she should be allowed to let off some steam and have fun without a bossy adult commenting about it
Her DS is just under a year younger and isn't talking much so not much noise from him

I'm just back from softplay. I have a hideous headache and can still hear the hideous shrieking and screaming from one group of over-excited girls. I dare say it will be ringing in my ears awhile since it was loud enough to wake the dead and high pitched enough to shatter glass. Not once were any of them told to knock it off.

Oh well, you've evidently not been in classrooms of teenagers who employ your particular brand of rudeness. Perhaps it would be a new concept to you.

Maybe some enterprising person could start screaming/screeching groups in sound proof rooms. So those precious children can express themselves.

There it is again. We should all be allowed to "express ourselves". Loudly, unrelentingly, ear piercingly. Because our human rights would be violated by having any consideration for others forced upon us, of course.

Ilovesooty, you're being at least equally sarcastic now.

ilovesooty Did you mean to be so rude? Honestly, you appear to be getting far too engaged in worrying about my social skills and what you perceive to be rudeness, when it's quite obvious from your own posts that you are no stranger to passive aggressive comments, sarcasm, or rude behaviour. Perhaps you could just stick to the discussion at hand?

Absolutely vivienne. A soundproofed room is just the place for those precious little darlings. Great idea.

melon, that last response wasn't meant to be sarcastic - apologies if it sounded that way. I simply meant that if Triggles is unaccustomed to that brand of rudeness I can see why she'd think swearing might be more rude.

Fair enough :)

Soundproofed room - yes, great idea.

I agree with the poster who said if children weren't allowed to shriek/other examples not needed for this thread under the guise of 'self expression' there would most likely be more understanding that a child wasn't just being a brat that was never disciplined, that they were behaving that way for a reason.

I think we do SN children a great disservice when we allow our children to grow up this way, they and their parents have it hard enough.

ILS! Just realised I know you from another forum (I think) from a long while ago. :)

Lurking some children aren't dx'd or recognised as having SNs until they are in school - so age 4 or 5. How do we know some of those 3yo shriekers at soft play simply aren't undx'd children with SN's? (tossing a wrench into the argument, I suppose, but it happens)

When I was a teacher, I often found the girls worse than than the boys in terms of rudeness, because boys were usually more blatant about it.

We don't. Which is why I don't judge any poorly behaved child, which creates acceptance for the children who are simple badly behaved.

Really, it's just a shitty situation all round.

Bun fight alert! Christ read this thread back ladies (or gentlemen), you sound like teenagers!

OP im not sure if yabu or yanbu, i personally loathe the screech of a child and for that reason i avoid places where screechy children tend to occur for example the soft play. I am lucky in that i dont have a screechy child but she can sure as hell be noisey. If its in an area designated to play, not sure i'd give a crap, however if i was hanging out with someone who had a very screechy child i think i would rapidly become irritated. I would simply stop hanging out with them in a child friendly capacity and maybe save hanging out for drinks down the pub.

puds11 now now. It's wasn't a TRUE bunfight. On MN, I believe a true bunfight results in every other post being deleted. This was sort of a "petit four" fight.

Lurking it is tbh. But GPs and HVs often do not acknowledge parental concerns over child development at an early stage. Standard response is "all children develop at different rates" and encouragement to wait a year or two, wasting valuable time. So many parents of children with SNs (including us) have had to really fight to get the GPs to listen to their concerns. Better training in recognising child development red flags for GPs would be of huge help in this regard, as they are often the ones refusing to refer the child to a paediatrician for further assessment.

Cassette twisting? She asked if I would expect her to take her child out of a soft play place if the noise was bothering them. I said yes. (and further explained that I would do the same for my own child - and have done) How is that twisting it? How is that unreasonable? She asked a question, and I not only answered her, but explained why. Just because some didn't agree with me does not mean I was twisting anything. It was fairly straightforward IMO.

And the response to puds was simply light humour. No twisting involved. Although I'd like to think that was fairly obvious... note the after.

I don't know what your local softplay is like Triggles but there's no petit fours at mine, sticky squashed doughnut if you're lucky

This has been a very angry thread, hasn't it?

Soft play is evil.

marquesas if only! Although the coffee isn't bad. We do have sticky squashed doughnuts sometimes... perhaps they all have the same supplier? (or you live nearby ) lol

ooohh petit fours