to not ask my DD to quieten down

[humptyhump]

This has happened on a few occasions now.
My DD can be quite noisy when we are at soft play/activity centre, she is very vocal in her playing, squeals and screeches when she's excited etc
However my friend who I usually attend the places with (with her DS) always makes comments on how loud she is, sometimes she says it in a jokey way 'oh your so loud haha' and other times she makes comments on how she's got a headache
AIBU to not tell my DD, we are at play centres surely this is the place where she should be allowed to let off some steam and have fun without a bossy adult commenting about it
Her DS is just under a year younger and isn't talking much so not much noise from him

Maybe the quiet kids are bust pushing and shoving, but getting away with it

Now that's an assumption

Oh, goodness Ilovesooty A thousand apologies. I had no idea that "yup" and "whatever" were overly rude. I beg your pardon. Honestly. I am so incredibly sorry. Really.

Yup. Whatever.

There is a massive difference between the general noise of children playing - shouting, laughing, roaring, yelling etc - and screaming and squealing.

Screaming involves a very particular effort - it's not just like children get louder and louder until they are screaming - it's a completely different set of muscles or whatever, so if they are screaming, they are intending to scream. They're not just getting carried away and getting a bit louder than they realised.

That is why, in my experience, it is easy enough to deal with. None of the DCs in our family have ever failed to understand what we mean when we tell them to stop screaming. You can deal with the screaming without telling the child to be quiet, or interfering with them playing.

I remember that we weren't allowed to scream at playtime when I was at school - the teachers always said that screaming meant we were hurt or that something was wrong. So we didn't scream. It didn't stop us playing, or making noise.

I had no idea that "yup" and "whatever" were overly rude

Oh well: you've learned something. Glad to have been of service.

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. If noisy places bother you, perhaps you shouldn't go there."

I'm interested to know weather high pitched shrieking would hurt my daughter (profoundly deaf cochlear implant user). I've never been in the situation, but would you say the same to me if it did bother her?

Sorry I haven't read all got to the "hope she breaks her leg" comment. What a bloody loon that poster is.

Well, ilovesooty if I can bring a little joy into someone's humdrum little life by pretending to care what they think...

well, first of all, it's "whether", not "weather"... unless of course, it's raining

And in a soft play place, then afraid so. My DS2 has SNs, and loud noises often bother him (as I did mention earlier in the thread). We bring his ear defenders along in case he needs them. If the noise still bothers him, we leave. So yes, if the noise in a generally noisy place bothers you or your child, then I would think common sense should tell you to leave. If, on the other hand, DS2 is making noise in what is accepted to be a quiet place (for example church), then WE would leave.

To me, there's nothing lovelier than a child in a park or at soft play having fun - calling a friend over, shouting 'weeee' as s/he goes down the slide or laughing hysterically because s/he lost his sock in the ball poll. On the flip side, there's nothing worse than a shrieking, squealing child who has never been told it's unpleasant to the ear.

There are definately noises to be encouraged and enjoyed and noises to be discouraged. I honestly don't understand the "they can make whatever noise they like" argument.

However, soft play is a noisy environment. My friends child screams (not giggles or laughs or shouts) and I think it is entirely right that the mum suggests that the child turns down the volume a bit. it isnt be quiet, or stop enjoying yourself, it is much more gentle than that...

This appears to have turned into a MN right or wrong debate and there are so many POV in between that only you can decide.

However, if MY FRIEND had been so frequently annoyed by my child's behaviour I would not disregard it so easily.

I would be asking her to try and keep it down a little. Children can get hurt in these places (eg 2 bashing heads accidentally) and the supervising adults need to be able to hear cries of distress.

Other mothers once complained that I BF (discreetly) at soft play ! Twas a long time ago, admittedly.

thumbwitch - your post made me a bit sad - I was a teenager with a loud annoying voice. I am probably still a bit loud now. It was because I had severe glue ear as a child. My voice was only modified when I had speech therapy as a teen.

As for the OP, you should tell her to turn it down. My DS is now 5 and squeals. It is extremely annoying and causes problems in his swimming and football lessons. I know other people hate it and gives a bad impression of him. We are working on it. He didn't do it as a toddler :S You don't want your DD doing this at school.

"well, first of all, it's "whether", not "weather"... unless of course, it's raining

And in a soft play place, then afraid so. My DS2 has SNs, and loud noises often bother him (as I did mention earlier in the thread). We bring his ear defenders along in case he needs them. If the noise still bothers him, we leave. So yes, if the noise in a generally noisy place bothers you or your child, then I would think common sense should tell you to leave. If, on the other hand, DS2 is making noise in what is accepted to be a quiet place (for example church), then WE would leave."

Oh, you're correcting spelling on an internet forum? What a fulfilling life you must have!

So, you'd expect a child, who cannot change her condition, to go/stay home, in order to allow another child screeching when they could easily just stop screeching? Wow.

You must be an absolute joy to know in rl triggles.

How can a mother with a SN child be so callous to a mother with a child with different SN?

Disgraceful.

Make myself clear, My DD isn't bothered by loud noises. But may be bothered by an abnormally high pitched one. I would not expect my daughter to have to leave when squealy child could just .. You know, shut up.

Triggles, honestly, you're not doing yourself any favours. My DD and DS can be a bit high pitched (although my DD's endless, "Mummy, what are you doin'?" when she was 3 were the most tiresome thing ever! ) but really, would it kill you to shrug and smile and say "OK, DD, shush a bit please"?

Only you know if it's too much and it does sound like it might be a bit. I hate it when I feel as if my DCs are being judged as my parenting is then being judged - YANBU to feel hurt by this but if you take the emotion out of it, a "shush!" isn't going to hurt, surely?

I think a couple of people posting in this thread would have been fucking annoying screechers themselves, given how they try to make their points using offensive digs.

I've never seen such childish sarcasm used to try to score points against others debating an issue.

Bet you've cleared a few play areas yourself Triggles with that attitude

I agree Shelly. There are some seriously angry people here, trying desperately to hide said anger and frustration with faux-silliness and sarcasm.

It's both worrying and entertaining. :)

Goodness this thread is ridiculous. If you allow your children to impact on other people or their children, they will complain - either to your face, or more likely - on AIBU.

It's not difficult to ask a screaming child to stop doing that, it won't hamper their enjoyment any but it will permit other people to be in the vicinity and not hinder theirs either. It is socially unacceptable to be so ignorant of other people, thinking that you and your children can do exactly as you wish without thought or consideration of others.

I would say that most people are tolerant up to a point - that point at which that unravels is where others do not care how their own behaviour or that of their children impinges on other people. I think tolerance just disappears completely then.

Lying, I think that's a good point.

If my DCs screamed once, I probably would ignore it or glare at them, depending on where they were. If they did it a second time, I'd tell them to stop it.

YABU. A bit of loud playing is fine, but there is no need to squeal and screech!

How can a mother with a SN child be so callous to a mother with a child with different SN?

Absolutely.