I would like my 3 year old grand-daughter to stay with me for one night, but my daughter in law says NO, AIBU?

[redyam]

I bit of background, this is not me, but I will write as though it is, for a friend.

I sea my grand-daughter every few weeks, we live about 100 miles away from each other. We either go down to my sons house or they come up to stay for the weekend.

We all get on really well, my grand-daughter is delightful, and behaves as good as gold whenever we spend time with her or go out for trips.

I would like to take my 3 year old grand-daughter on an overnight outing nearby. We will take her out for the evening (not late) without the parents, spend the night with her, then bring her back to her parents the next day.

I think it will do her the world of good, give me some quality time with her, and give her parents a night off to do what they want. I'm sure my GD would love it.

However my daughter-in-law says NO! No reason given, to flat out refusal. I'm a little hurt really, as though I can't be trusted with my grand-daughter.

Am I being unreasonable to want to do this, or to feel hurt?

Oh thats lovely.
Feet up and a nice cup of tea.
Mind yer teeth.

Oh my teeth aren't my own - oh dearie me no, bless you!

Oh no dear - People's Friend is a bit racy for me!
I'll stick to my puzzle books thank you very much.

it may very well be that old chestnut but its still different to you being allowed.

Sorry ,my eyesights not was it was ,Sock

for fucks sake usual i had a baby a few months ago im over 35 and you made me laugh! no warning or nothing didnt even give me a chance to cross my legs. cow

Would you like to borrow one of my Tena Ladies?

too late for a tenalady by the sounds of it.....

I've just read the last few pages of this very long thread and am really shocked at this 50 is getting past it idea. Most CEOs and high level directors are in their late 40s and early 50s and if they can manage to run global companies I think they would have the energy to look after a 3 year old. People live longer now and are likely to be much younger and healthier in their 60s than say 20 years ago.

I was brought up by my great grandparents who were in their late 50s early 60s and they had loads of energy. My grandad took be to Alton Towers at 70 and went on all the rides! Really weird that anyone would think a 50 year old was past it. With the age people live to now 50 is the new 40!

There was no "fifty is getting past it" idea! No-one ever said that! Nevertheless, some people in their fifties aren't in good health.

Salmotrutta Sun 29-Jul-12 16:38:38
"Oh well, I must be imagining the excitement on my DGC faces when they stay over here then Quintessential."

Do you think your 3 year old grandchild, would have been equally excited if it was the first time they stayed over, and you had only seen her a few weeks now and then prior to her very first stay on your own?

(What I am really thinking is, what part of my post did you read as a criticism directed at YOU and your circumstances, when I was talking about MY personal experience and thoughts?)

Some people in their twenties are not in good health, some people in their thirties

This is getting sickening now. Because BUPA subscribed CEO's enjoy good physical health, should we take them to be representative of all fifty-year-olds? I think not. That would be as unfair as writing off all fifty-year-olds based on the capabilities of the most ill.

And some people in their 20's and 30s aren't in good health and if anyone said they couldn't have a baby becuase they had ms, diabetes, had been a thalidomide victim, had recovered from drug addiction or cancer, it would be discriminatory to say there could not have or were not entitled to have a child because of it. Adjustments would be supported to maximise the mother/child relationship.

I would say that the majority of 50 year olds are capable of looking after a 3 year old TBH.

Brandy Some people in their twenties are not in good health, some people in their thirties

Glad to hear you're not in denial and recklessly defending the under-thirties, then.

Whats wrong with defending the old codgers ?

I get sick and tired of the ageism on MN TBh.

I had to sign off as my MIL dropped in for a surprise vsit

Anyway - I most certainly wasn't reading your post as a criticism of me directly Quintessential - I was answering you on a very general point.

My DGCs have been staying here on and off since the oldest was about 2 - that's all.

"My DGCs have been staying here on and off since the oldest was about 2 - that's all." Which sort of proves my point, salmontrutta!

Springing a sleepover on a 3 year old, with a near stranger, is totally different to a situation to one where the grandparents are active ingredients in a childs life!

TheBigJessie I am a under 30 in fact I am 24.

The problem with "defending the old codgers" was the fact you seem to have been trying to defend all of them. Some people in any age group aren't capable. The abilities of Elaine at number 32 King Street don't affect the capabilites of Lilly at 36. Even if they have the same birth year.

Yes but the OP (or her friend) does appear to be active in the childs life.

They see them regularly and stay over at weekends,go on trips etc. - at least that's what I took from her post anyway.

That was to Quintessential BTW.

She said all the 50 year olds she knew were old and incapable. I said all the 50 year olds I knew were perfectly capable.

So,we must move in very different circles.