I would like my 3 year old grand-daughter to stay with me for one night, but my daughter in law says NO, AIBU?

[redyam]

I bit of background, this is not me, but I will write as though it is, for a friend.

I sea my grand-daughter every few weeks, we live about 100 miles away from each other. We either go down to my sons house or they come up to stay for the weekend.

We all get on really well, my grand-daughter is delightful, and behaves as good as gold whenever we spend time with her or go out for trips.

I would like to take my 3 year old grand-daughter on an overnight outing nearby. We will take her out for the evening (not late) without the parents, spend the night with her, then bring her back to her parents the next day.

I think it will do her the world of good, give me some quality time with her, and give her parents a night off to do what they want. I'm sure my GD would love it.

However my daughter-in-law says NO! No reason given, to flat out refusal. I'm a little hurt really, as though I can't be trusted with my grand-daughter.

Am I being unreasonable to want to do this, or to feel hurt?

OMG - I'm helping out with my DGC next week.

And I'm in my 50s

No-one told me I was supposed to have slowed down and deteriorated.

Why did you lot not tell me?

I don't get that phrase about NO either usual

I'm pretty outraged by the view that once you get to 50 you are past it too

Don't be so bitter and thin skinned ,Salmo

usual i dont think anybody at all has said you need to be grateful because you are allowed to have a relationship.

i think it was more a be grateful you can (there but for the grace of god type of thing).thats very very different

Yeah , yeah that old chestnut.

Be grateful your leg ain't fell off, that sort of thing.

Is it a naice Cream Sherry usual.

Its Harveys Bristol Cream. The Saga Forums highly recommend it.

Oh yes, I'm so very grateful that my DD trusts me not to kill off their children

I hope you don't go crossing any roads with them,Salmo

Ooh, I like a nice Harvey's.

Usually a treat reserved for Christmas, what with my decrepitudinous inability to tolerate alcohol and all ...

Oh I never cross roads - my age-related failing eyesight and poor hearing make that quite out of the question dontcha know?

I need to go and get the washing in.

I better start now as it will take me a good hour to shuffle out to the back garden ...

Are you sure you can manage the step?

I think so - if DH tucks my arm into his

where have they all gone? Watch that step - if your hands are stiff today I'll nip over to help you with the top on the Harveys - nips off to pour another gin.

I dont think any of my children would have been ready for a sleepover at the age of 3.

I do realize that many children sleep over at family, and with grandchildren from they are babies, but I think that is a bit different, as they would be used to it.

For sure, MY children would not have been happy at this, and I would not want to risk the child being distressed, and being brought home, as that could also be a distressing experience.

Personally, I dont see a reason why a 3 year old should go on a sleep over. I dont think the child would welcome it, at that young age. Not for the grandparents benefit for sure. This is something I reckon most people do to the parents benefit, if they have to go somewhere, like a wedding, or funeral.
Or for work related stuff. It is a needs must, rather than a fun situation.

Actually I think my mum has a right to have a relationship with my child as much as I do mind you my mum never has to ask to see her GC as me and my siblings have always just dropped them off to her and ran quite a bit me for work and the others for nights out/breaks away LOL

However, the ex MIL now that's another story if I had my way her and the rest of her toxic family would not even breathe near my DS. Unfortunately I can't stop twunt of ex from seeing his own mother mind you at least he hasn't left him overnight in her care yet...well not that I know of anyway. Now way will I be facilitating that contact if he gets posted overseas and I will quite happily defend my decision to my DS when he is older.

I made it - I'm exhausted though.
What with my age and everything ...

There was never a view that people are automatically "past it" once they hit 50, though... No-one ever actually said that...

Oh and my DS who is 2 and half would jump at the chance to sleep at any of my families houses and friends come to think of it and wouldn't bat an eyelid actually I think there have been times when he has tried shoving me out the door at his godparents. He has done it from an early age and so I don't think 3 is too young. Other peoples houses have treats in unlike mine LOL

Oh well, I must be imagining the excitement on my DGC faces when they stay over here then Quintessential.

My DGs must be making it up then when they plead to stay at mine . Even at 3 they used to say can we sleep please can we sleep.
And DD used to say it's up to your Grandma
hoping I would say oh go on then.

Have I missed anything.
I have just awoken from my afternoon nap. My knees were giving me gip.

I am not convinced about the 7 year old looking after me, I dont know about DC4 cos he is only 4 but the other 3 buggers didnt do it when they hit 7.
Just when DS1 got useful he bloody moved out too!

I don;t know whether ds will want to stay at his Nainy's at 3; but he's loved it since he was a baby.

Last week he even demanded a night at Nainy's "on my own", because a. he's not overly keen on sharing her with his baby sister and b. he gets her undivided attention, fireman Sam on the puter with Taid, and enough chocolate buttons to sink a battleship.