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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

piercing a young childs ears........

249 replies

charllie · 26/07/2012 18:43

I really don't understand why a parent would want to take their young child out and get their ears pierced!! Having a stranger, or even someone you know, either using a piercing gun to pierce their ears, or using a needle (not sure which one is used for young children) I personally think it should be illegal for a parent to make this decision. Or maybe not that strong, but at least an age limit. Why can't the child make that decision for themselves when they are older. Why take a baby, or even a toddler out to get their ears pierced!!?? In my eyes, its a form of child abuse. Its no different to hitting your child, etc. You are causing them pain, quite often making them bleed, all so they 'look nice' well i think it looks horrible! I've not seen one child/baby that i think awww cute. I have piercings myself and i will not be getting my DD's ears pierced until i feel she is old enough to make that decision for herself and only then, will it be after she has been talking about it for a little while.

OP posts:
Krumbum · 26/07/2012 19:15

I completely agree. It is abuse. I think you should have to be sixteen same for all piercings.

thegreylady · 26/07/2012 19:16

Why metal?Can you explain why you would do a thing like that to a tiny baby?

MsOnatopp · 26/07/2012 19:17

It is completely wrong. It is permanent. It is a hole forced into a body who can not chose. I just can't understand why anyone would think it OK to do to a child. Plus it looks tacky as (but that one's obviously an opinion)

I think it is completely immoral. I honestly don't see the difference between tattooing a child and piercing them. I have had 12 piercings and a tattoo myself.

PavlovtheCat · 26/07/2012 19:17

sauvignong is it gross? I have bought it but not tried it yet.

usualsuspect · 26/07/2012 19:18

Meh

perceptionreality · 26/07/2012 19:19

YABU - child abuse? I think not. No more abusive than vaccinations where something is actually injected into the body - the parent chooses on behalf of the child then too.

TidyDancer · 26/07/2012 19:21

perception, I sort of see where you're coming from, but I don't think that's entirely comparable. Of course parents have to make medical decisions for their DCs, but this is about a cosmetic decision.

kissmyshineymetalass · 26/07/2012 19:22

Well I was five days old when my ears were pierced so to me it wasn't a big deal having my DD done,I didn't realise people would judge me for it until I joined mumsnet and as for those saying the legal age should be sixteen I did my own ears with a needle a second and third time when I was thirteen

MsOnatopp · 26/07/2012 19:23

How is a vaccine and a ring/stud comparable? In what universe?!

One is so that the baby is not at risk of catching something that used to kill children before the vaccine and one is to accessorise a child...

And who looks at their baby and thinks 'yeah you are pretty but you need this (usually) crappy, naff looking stud to look prettier.'

TidyDancer · 26/07/2012 19:24

kissmy, why did you do that though? This is what I can't understand.

Babies shouldn't need to be made to look pretty. :(

Krumbum · 26/07/2012 19:24

What so because you did your own it means people should be making money for wounding kids Confused

FreudianSlipper · 26/07/2012 19:25

child abuse Hmm

seems like some parts of the world have a disturbingly high number of child abusers must remember to stay away from these countries

perceptionreality · 26/07/2012 19:25

Yes, ideally I think the child should be at an age where they can ask to have it done. But really, most women in the world have their ears pierced at least once and to call it child abuse is therefore ludicrous imo. I let my dd have hers pierced aged 6 when she asked. She hates any kind of pain and did not even flinch!

Krumbum · 26/07/2012 19:27

Just because something is normalised and not done with malicious intent it doesn't stop it being abuse. Caning used to be seen as normal and correct and many people did it because they thought it was helping the child learn and doing the right thing. That doesn't make it right.

perceptionreality · 26/07/2012 19:27

It's comparable to a vaccine because not everyone agrees with the concept or safety of mass vaccination. You cannot therefore assume your child will.

SauvignonBlanche · 26/07/2012 19:28

It's disappointing Pavlov, don't do it.

RubyRosie · 26/07/2012 19:28

Well, I don't think it looks awful, it can look quite pretty with small stud earrings in but I wouldn't get my toddler's done as I would be too worried she would manage to get one out and choke on it at night time.

seeker · 26/07/2012 19:29

16 is silly.

But piercing q bay's ears is awful. And looks hideous. And deliberately doing something that hurts to someone too young to consent for purely cosmetic reasons is horrible.

morethanpotatoprints · 26/07/2012 19:30

There is alot of peer pressure around here with ears being pierced. DD's friend (8) has just had hers done, went out to play and knocked the ear ring out. It was not a pretty sight from all accounts.
I also don't understand why people have babies done, although round here its usually just the chavs who do this, so most parents wait till at least 8.
I think the summer before high school is about right and also more practical in terms of school/ oos activities where they have to be responsible for their care.

kissmyshineymetalass · 26/07/2012 19:33

No I'm saying if the legal age was sixteen then alot of kids would do it themselves before they they reached that age like I did

I had their ears pierced because its something that is just done in both our families no big deal didn't even think about it sorry if that bothers people,judge away I don't care.DD are now 10,8 and 5 and they've never been bothered by and I don't think they will grow up to think they were abusedHmm

fanoftheinvisibleman · 26/07/2012 19:35

I think a child should be old enough to decide themselves.

Funnily enough earlier this week I saw a little girl sat in a chair to have her ears pierced breaking her heart begging her mum not to make her have it done. She was about 7 or 8. I have to be honest I don't know if she was half way through the procedure or about to start. Her mum was telling her she had to and she was sobbing. I didn't hang around because I walked out of the shop with tears in my eyes. I couldn't do that to my own child, even if it meant leaving with one not done.

fanoftheinvisibleman · 26/07/2012 19:35

I think a child should be old enough to decide themselves.

Funnily enough earlier this week I saw a little girl sat in a chair to have her ears pierced breaking her heart begging her mum not to make her have it done. She was about 7 or 8. I have to be honest I don't know if she was half way through the procedure or about to start. Her mum was telling her she had to and she was sobbing. I didn't hang around because I walked out of the shop with tears in my eyes. I couldn't do that to my own child, even if it meant leaving with one not done.

Krumbum · 26/07/2012 19:36

That isn't true of other piercings. People just get used to things. If it wasn't the norm for female children to have pierced ears then most would just get it done at 16. Like with other piercings.

Lexagon · 26/07/2012 19:38

Not unreasonable.
One of the worst excuses for it is "Oh, it's so people know she's a girl!" If it's that important to you, stick a badge on her ffs. Don't poke metal through her ears.

Krumbum · 26/07/2012 19:40

I was in Claire's the other day seeing a 6 year old screaming in pain saying she did not want to have the second ear done but her mum and the piercer were saying she had to. It was incredibly upsetting to witness
Most children don't actually understand that it will hurt! And definately not how much it will hurt. I definately didn't. I just wanted pretty earrings because my friends had them. But if it wasn't normal for young girls to have them I wouldn't have wanted them.