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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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piercing a young childs ears........

249 replies

charllie · 26/07/2012 18:43

I really don't understand why a parent would want to take their young child out and get their ears pierced!! Having a stranger, or even someone you know, either using a piercing gun to pierce their ears, or using a needle (not sure which one is used for young children) I personally think it should be illegal for a parent to make this decision. Or maybe not that strong, but at least an age limit. Why can't the child make that decision for themselves when they are older. Why take a baby, or even a toddler out to get their ears pierced!!?? In my eyes, its a form of child abuse. Its no different to hitting your child, etc. You are causing them pain, quite often making them bleed, all so they 'look nice' well i think it looks horrible! I've not seen one child/baby that i think awww cute. I have piercings myself and i will not be getting my DD's ears pierced until i feel she is old enough to make that decision for herself and only then, will it be after she has been talking about it for a little while.

OP posts:
MadRambler · 27/07/2012 09:19

I don't agree with it, but we live in Spain and it's considered abnormal here NOT to have it done. The midwife wanted to take my DD away and pierce her ears the day after she was born, but I declined. I want it to be her choice in the future. I am considered the weird one!

Hulababy · 27/07/2012 10:04

I thought most places, esp places like Claires, do both ears at once for children. Certainly that is what happens at the one in our town and the one at the shopping centre nearby - have seen it several times. Infact there was a huge queue on Monday with girls waiting to have theirs done - two assistants doing an ear each. One little girl there had had hers done the Friday before but had had one pulled out and lost at sift play that morning. Assistant was saying she'd need it re-piercing as they heal over so quickly another earring wouldn't go through any more.

There is little point in DD having her ears done til next summer (before secondary school) anyway. At DD's school they are not allowed to wear earrings at all at school. The only jewelry permitted is a single wrist watch. The secondaries allow studs. I just wouldn't see the point - trying to remember to put them in after school or for the weekend.

I had mine done at 10y but they went funny and healed over. Had them done again at 13y and they were fine, but still went gammy at times. Finally rehealed over around 20y. Had them redone yet again at about 32/33y - but again problems. Now 39y and have holes but can't get anything through them. Have given up!

MrsBethel · 27/07/2012 10:05

I wouldn't do it to my child, but it's not a big deal - if the kid doesn't want pierced ears when they're older they can just leave the hole to shrink down to a little scar. A little scar isn't anything to get hysterical about. It's not like circumcision which has a much bigger impact on a person and can never be reversed.

Still, I wouldn't do it, and thinking about it logically, I would ask people to consider this: if you're piercing your baby/toddler's ears, for whose benefit are you doing this? It can't be for the child's benefit. They get absolutely nothing out of it. So is it for your benefit, or for someone else's?

SchrodingersMew · 27/07/2012 11:23

I think the biggest problem here is that piercing guns are still legal. They are horrible things, they use a practically blunt stud to pierce the ear and cannot be sterilised, the use of these is highly irresponsible. They are only wiped down with alcohol wipes, not properly cleaned so risk of infection is very high and risk of trauma high because of the blunt stud. Angry

You can actually get disposable piercing guns but I guess places like Claire's don't think childrens safety is worth the extra money.

I have no problem with children having their ears pierced once they can decide for theirselves and understand the risks and the procedure of caring for them but not with a gun, with a sterile needle designed for piercing. I am also sure if this was the case many children would change their mind and wait, ironically although this would happen, it would actually hurt less with a needle.

Inneedofbrandy · 27/07/2012 11:29

SchrodingersMew It is sterile the earings are in a sterile package and have to be opened and that is the bit that goes into the ear.

SchrodingersMew · 27/07/2012 11:32

Yes, they are sterile but what do you think happens once connected to a non-sterile gun?

SchrodingersMew · 27/07/2012 11:33

Actual piercers have to use completely sterile equiptment, anything that touches the client has to be sterilised, everything is autoclaved including jewelery and clamps and the needles are sterile.

Why then is it acceptable for children to be pierced with dirty equiptment?

Feminine · 27/07/2012 11:49

It can be done at the Doctor's office in the US.

There are no social stigmas with it either.

I haven't had my DD done, but many people do it when their girls are babies as they won't fiddle then and the child accepts it as part of them.Many parents prefer it as young children tend to fiddle around/introduce germs.

Its a school of thought there...not my opinion IYSWIM? :)

SchrodingersMew · 27/07/2012 12:01

"Many parents prefer it as young children tend to fiddle around/introduce germs."

Ironic as they could leave them without, let them have it done when they are old enough to fully understand and have them pierced with everything sterile...

Sorry, I just really hate those guns, they in themselves automatically introduce bacteria and make the risk of infection high.

Just because they look clean doesn't mean they are, example being that blood can splatter back from one person on to the gun, then the gun is wiped down and used on the next person. This same gun will do this with hundreds of people.

I would relate it to being a virgin and sleeping with a person who has had unprotected sex with 300 other people and has never had an STD test. Strange simile but makes sense.

Feminine · 27/07/2012 12:15

mew :) its a sterile procedure at the Doctor's office in the US.

Imagine if wasn't?

It really is as common as flossing in the US...there is no debate between parents!

SchrodingersMew · 27/07/2012 12:21

Feminine Okay, that is slightly better.

It's still a horrible thing to do to a baby though. :(

NervousAt20 · 27/07/2012 12:24

YABU it's not any of your business of other peoples children have their ears pieces and it's hardly child abuse

SchrodingersMew · 27/07/2012 12:28

Nervous Have a look at my post about piercing guns. Do you really think under those circumstances it is okay? Risking your childs health for the sake of vanity, in my eyes (and I'm sure many others) is abuse.

The people who do this to babies don't even take the time to find out the risks.

A woman who used to stay down the stairs from me had her baby Son's ears pierced by the time he was a month and a second time by 2 months. Her 7yo at the time had both ears, a second hole and the cartlidge!

RubyFakeNails · 27/07/2012 12:41

But Schrodinger I think thats quite an extreme example or could at least be described as one end of the spectrum.

The majority of people who allow young piercings just have the ears done once. Due to their attitude on piercing, they might be the parents who allow further piercings earlier on (e.g my DD1 at her cartilage done at 12 and her belly done at 13 or 14) but the majority are not putting multiple hole in a baby's ears. Also how does that fit? My 2 never could have had 2 hole done until much older, there just wasn't room.

NUFC69 · 27/07/2012 12:41

I actually thought it was illegal to pierce children's ears before they were 14 - my daughter, who is now 33, had hers done when she was 13 and I can remember having a discussion in the shop with the assistant, who pointed this out to me, but said that as she was nearly 14 and I was with her, she would do it! There was certainly a lot of discussion in the news at that time about it, so I was not surprised when she said this to me.

SchrodingersMew · 27/07/2012 12:45

Ruby I didn't mean about multiple piercings, I meant taking the risk with a gun and all the problems that come with that 1 specific method.

It worked because they were very thin rings and the second holes were at the bottom of the cartlidge. :(

NUFC69 No, it is legal with consent.

SummerRain · 27/07/2012 12:56

DD didn't have the gun, I pierced her ears myself and it was done in a few minutes and she wasn't in pain at all.

She was 3 and really wanted them done so I bought her a pretty pair of earrings to cheer her up after a medical procedure. She was and still is delighted with her piercings.

She's 7 and has never had an infection or any problems, I don't regret doing it and would do it again if I had another girl. When she wants more done I'll allow it but any deep piercings or cartilage will have to wait til she's a teen... from personal experience ear lobes are relatively painless if done without the gun but other piercings are far too painful and need a huge amount of careful maintenance for a few weeks.

blisterpack · 27/07/2012 13:09

Yes you are right, they are child abusers indeed. Quite like those who beat or starve their children to death and suchlike. The babies should be taken away and the parents should be thrown in jail with the mother of Baby P.

SchrodingersMew · 27/07/2012 13:18

Blister Just because one thing isn't as serious as another does not make it okay.

What a riduculous way to think.

peanutMD · 27/07/2012 13:22

Not my thing but each to their own.

Inneedofbrandy · 27/07/2012 13:28

Schrodinger Really Hmm 300 partners unprotected. That would in my reakoning make that a risk factor for HIV HEP C ect like having a tattoo or piercing done in a different country. Why then when you have a blood test for those things in this country do they not consider you to be more higher risk for having piercings done in this country with a gun?

SchrodingersMew · 27/07/2012 13:42

Because guns are so common they are generally accepted as being safe.

If you do a search you will easily find lots of pages talking about the risks and many people who believe they should be banned.

Here is an e-petition I found

RubyFakeNails · 27/07/2012 13:48

I understand that you were making a point about the hygiene Schrodinger but I felt that it also added fuel to the fire that all parents who have young piercing are raging chavs so I just wanted to say that most of us aren't rushing out at every opportunity finding new places to pierce the baby.

My DD1 had a piercing needle, my DD2 had the gun. Its not that I didn't think, but I made the decisions based on the fact that I can keep on top of the cleaning etc when they were young which I wouldn't have managed when they were older. Also I think we all know that we are a lot more fastidious with our children's cleanliness particularly with babies than we are with our own.

The reason I think piercing ears is different to other piercings is mainly because of the healing time and that it is very easy to hide. I can still see the marks where friends had nose or eyebrow piercings. Belly button takes to long to heal and obviously couldn't do this on a young child. Tongue piercings in my experience damage your teeth so am against them.

Also, it is more socially acceptable, I think there are people on here who may not mind if their adult child had a tattoo but if that tattoo was their face they would be quite concerned and think it was a bad decision etc. So being socially acceptable is relevant. I don't like the insinuations that just because something is a social norm and you choose to do it you that means you're some kind of foolish sheep who has been indoctrinated. Wearing clothes, not spitting, eating with a knife and fork and shaving are all social norms and those who follow them are not considered ridiculous.

zukiecat · 27/07/2012 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blisterpack · 27/07/2012 13:57

No Schrodinger that's not my point. The OP is calling ear piercing child abuse. Fine if she thinks it is A Very Horrible Thing, and argue that. But blowing it up to a proportion it is not is a stupid argument indeed.