Ok, so to start: my hubby has suspected Aspergers syndrome (Not officially diagnosed, but both of us strongly suspect it and a friend of mine who is an aspergers expert says he almost certainly has) - he sometimes finds it difficult to understand other peoples opinions on things, social conventions, body language, appropriate ways of speaking etc. and this has caused problems with various neighbours in the past. (Tbh I do sometimes think our neighbours, nice as they seem, have a vendetta against us as they always seem to have been talking about us behind our backs but.... Maybe that's just my anxiety disorder.... Sure it is.... 
)
Anyway.... The other day we came home from shopping to be confronted by one of our neighbours telling DH to 'please slow down coming in and out of the shared driveway as the neighbours have all been talking about how he drives so fast, especially since getting our new car.'.
As far as I could hear (I was staying out of it in the car!) she was being quite reasonable and polite to begin with, DH responded that her kids and other kids are often playing in the driveway and he has never been even close to hitting them before (This is true, he always looks out for kids and animals and if there are any always stops in plenty of time without having to emergency stop). Unfortunately, because of his Aspergers, his body language and tone of voice was rather aggressive and he did seem to probe a bit too much into her reasons for her statement rather than just smiling, nodding and saying 'ok ill try to be slower'.
Unfortunately our neighbour had, what she later confessed to be a mouth before brain moment' and made a rude remark about his driving which then made him storm into the house ending the conversation. I then felt obliged to go apologise to the neighbour on his behalf and explain about his suspected Aspergers. She was extremely reasonable and apologetic for upsetting him but re-iterated that he just drives too fast. I said ok, I had never noticed the problem, but I am not a driver so.... Prepared to take her word.
Anyway when I got in to DH and talked to him he really was trying to see the neighbour's pov but just was physically/mentally unable to. Then a couple of days later he came out with 'I've been looking at my speed in the driveway and it's 8mph which gives me plenty of stopping distance and I can't go much slower than that anyway cos of needing to turn and stuff!" - he says he will 'try' to be slower but is convinced he a) wont be able to do so and b) it will be more dangerous if he does as he'll be concentrating on his speed rather than what's going on in the driveway.
As I said, I've never noticed a problem with his speed in the driveway as he does always stop in loads of time and is always hyper aware of kids and animals bring around (he has only ever run over 1 animal while out on motorways for naff sake!) BUT if 'all the neighbours' are talking about his fast driving then he must be going fast right?
Who is BU - DH or the neighbours? I'm open to both possibilities as I really have no clue and I just want us all to get on 