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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Didn't come home

396 replies

CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 09:38

My partner went to the pub yesterday afternoon and as yet is still not home. His phone has been off since around 11pm. Am I being unreasonable to think this is a complete disregard for me and be absolutely livid?

OP posts:
DrapedBust · 22/07/2012 17:05

It seems hard to believe someone could be so selfish and unthinking, but my H is exactly like this. Please make sure he knows that it's completely unacceptable and not some sort of badge of honour to behave like a teenager with no responsibilities or regards for anyone else. Then see how he reacts- that tells you whether this is salvageable or not.

honeytea · 22/07/2012 17:06

could you talk to his mum and say something along the lines of I hope this was a one of but if it happens again could you ring me asap. surely if he had been shagging around he wouldnt have called his mum and asked her to cover for him.

DrapedBust · 22/07/2012 17:06

Forgot to say- my H didn't get the message and we are now separating- the relief of not having to deal with this kind of behaviour is indescribable.

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 17:07

I'm staying with my mum tonight. I need to think. I don't want to be that woman who everybody sniggers at as she us always the last to know and is so gullible. I believe he did try to come home at 1.30ish as he wouldn't have known about the car being out otherwise. I think he has just got his drinking head on and not been able to call it a day. He may have went to his mums he may not have. I will never know and as I'm having his kid I have one of 2 options.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 22/07/2012 17:11

But where would he think you'd got to? If I was a guy whose pregnant wife had disappeared at 1.30 am then I'd be really panicking and phoning round the hospitals.

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 17:12

Me and his mum don't get on. She doesn't want to know the baby and I am all manner of farmyard animals Hmm
She is an emotionally abusive cruel woman with some form of personality disorder in my opinion. She smokes too much weed to function as a normal human being.
She would not ring me.

OP posts:
Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 17:14

Yeh exactly imperial

OP posts:
kickingKcurlyC · 22/07/2012 17:14

(Sorry, I crossposted.)

squeakytoy · 22/07/2012 17:16

sounds like the apple hasnt fallen far from the tree as far as he is concerned op :(

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 17:20

That's my eternal worry squeaky I think this is what made me so upset in the first place. I worry he will follow in her footsteps. He is a million miles off being as bad as her to be fair. He has some good qualities funnily enough.

OP posts:
JustFabulous · 22/07/2012 17:22

See this as a wake up call moment for both of you.

You need to think about your baby and if this man is fit to be around him/her everyday and will treat their mum well.

ImperialBlether · 22/07/2012 17:27

I wouldn't have moved anywhere near her if she was like that. She sounds really awful.

MintyMojito · 22/07/2012 17:32

I'm sorry to read you were so worried. Did you just say you were for your future? Surely there must be more to that than this incident? I mean, he was a bit of an idiot granted, but to question your relationship? Massive over reaction IMO. Hopefully once you've cooled down you can forgive, forget and move on.

rhondajean · 22/07/2012 17:33

Oh sal I am so glad he is okay but grrrrr what a stupid plonker to say the least.

I think you are doing Thr right thing getting some space at. Your mums.

Take care.

MintyMojito · 22/07/2012 17:33

And FWIW I think telling someone online that you don't know to leave their partner is irresponsible and frankly ridiculous.

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 17:39

Minty yes there is more to this. Straw that broke the camels back situation

OP posts:
FushiaFernica · 22/07/2012 18:08

Glad he is okay, it sounds like he can easily be led astray. Worrying about his mum, especially for when the baby arrives. You may need to use the wiseness of mumsnet to help you out in the future. Stay sensible.

QuintessentialShadows · 22/07/2012 18:12

You need to have a serious think, my dear.

I dont want to see you post a year from now, about driving around at night looking for your dh, and find him asleep in a flowerbed/somebodys bathroom floor, etc, with a newborn baby in the car seat.... You dont need such a worry.

noelstudios · 22/07/2012 18:51

OP, glad to hear he's materialised, sorry to see that his behaviour is far from ideal for a stress-free pregnancy. Good luck with gathering your thoughts and working out your future. Take care.

GoranisGod · 22/07/2012 19:02

Sorry op but I dont believe a word of his story-I think he has been shagging aroun and I think you know itSad

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 19:07

Thanks goran you - stranger on the Internet - would of course know this Hmm

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 22/07/2012 19:07

Minty, have you been on these boards long? Believe me, there are some occasions where it's your DUTY to tell women to leave their husbands.

difficultpickle · 22/07/2012 19:20

He doesn't sound like a keeper. I wouldn't be getting keys cut for my house for someone who behaved like that and is so inconsiderate. Although if you do live together it is weird that he doesn't have his own keys already.

akaemmafrost · 22/07/2012 19:21

To be fair OP you have had a lot of support from "Strangers on the Internet" today.

bonnieslilsister · 22/07/2012 19:26

Not weird at all bisjo they have only just moved into that house

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