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Original poster

Didn't come home

396 replies

CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 09:38

My partner went to the pub yesterday afternoon and as yet is still not home. His phone has been off since around 11pm. Am I being unreasonable to think this is a complete disregard for me and be absolutely livid?

OP posts:
GhostShip · 22/07/2012 16:41

Oh how I've heard all those no charger excuses and 'but I ran round trying to find one' excuses. They tend to ignore the fact they could have come home.

kinkyfuckery · 22/07/2012 16:42

It's so sad that despite what he put you through, you seem to be making excuses for him already.

I recommend you reread this thread and remember how worried and angry you were last night, so you know where to direct your anger.

kinkyfuckery · 22/07/2012 16:42

What time did he come past the house and then go to his mum's?

ScarletLadyOfTheNight01 · 22/07/2012 16:43

What an arsehole. My ex used to do this, he went and disappeared for 3 days once and didn't call and I was beside myself. Then when I did track him down, apparently I was being out of order and needy because I wanted to know where he was...we lived together

I was worried with this thread though because my DH didn't come home one night when I was pregnant and it turned out he'd had a seizure and fallen and knocked himself out so was in hospital...I was in pieces until I heard from him...he should have called you first thing if he'd stayed at his Mums....NO excuse for that at all.

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 16:44

He was at pub til 1am I left to look for him
1.15ish so timings right.
Not blaming the mother he is the arsehole of this story. But that
woman deserves no sympathy kinky but that's a whole other thread.
He is in last chance saloon now and he knows it.

OP posts:
HildaOgden · 22/07/2012 16:46

I'm livid on your behalf Angry.Total lack of care,respect and consideration for both you and your soon-to-be born baby.

I'd go ballistic if it was my situation.Look after yourself,Cinnamon...because that selfish fucker won't :(

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 22/07/2012 16:47

So why didn't he come home this morning then?

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 16:47

I'm not trying to make excuses there are none plenty other means of getting in contact. And if not you would get up at crack of Dawn and not let someone worry til 2.30pm. And exactly where did he think I was at that time??? My mothers apparently for one of my midnight visiting rounds no doubt Hmm

OP posts:
GhostShip · 22/07/2012 16:47

No way. Absolutely no way do you walk out of a pub at 1am, go your mums, and only come home at 4 the following day.

X

Fireandashes · 22/07/2012 16:48

In the time it took for him to faff round finding a charger and then charge his phone, he could have come home! Has he said why he didn't?

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 16:49

He said he was comatose til then.

OP posts:
Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 16:50

Nope no excuses just accepted it wasn't acceptable.

OP posts:
GhostShip · 22/07/2012 16:50

So for over 15 hours he was comatose. That doesn't ring true to me, so his mum didn't think to wake him up and give him a kick in the arse. Or ring her pregnant daughter in law?

Sorry I'm not helping :( x

FormerlyTitledUntidy · 22/07/2012 16:51

Sal, that sounds really weird....
I mean, so what if he thought you weren't in, why wouldn't he just let himself in if he was passing? Why would he bother going to his mums? And why would he not just come home at 11 this morning and charge his phone at home?

I don't believe that's how it happened, sorry if you don't want to hear that.

Softlysoftly · 22/07/2012 16:51

I think you need the words

"oh darling I'm so glad youre safe at your mums, I was worried. Now fucking stay there"

HildaOgden · 22/07/2012 16:53

The match he went to the pub to see was over at half seven yesterday,and he came home at lunchtime today...Christ on a bike,he has some nerve :(

Shullbit · 22/07/2012 16:54

After the relief that he was ok and not in hospital or in some gutter, I would be wanting to do things to him which would put him in in either place. Not that I would, I would just have sweet daydreams about it.

What a complete, inconsiderate arsehole. He would be staying at his mothers if it was me for a few weeks while I contemplated what I wanted to do with regards to the relationship whilst he stewed over what he could be about to lose. And if I did decide to give him a last chance, I would make sure he earned it.

Don't let him get away with this lightly OP. Look after yourself.

kickingKcurlyC · 22/07/2012 16:56

DH used to do this sort of thing quite often. He'd say he was maybe going for a coffee or a beer after work with his colleagues, then he'd ring me at 5am the next morning to say he was going to stay on someone's sofa and go straight to work from there.
And he'd been in an "underground bar" all night, so my texts at 8 asking if he wanted dinner or if I should eat without him, then at 1 in the morning asking if he was staying out or if he had been hit by a bus, had only just come through.

He doesn't really do it any more.

(Hmm. Sorry to go on about myself.)
I hope your DH is Ok OP.

RobinScherbatsky · 22/07/2012 16:56

I don't get why he didn't just come into the house even though you weren't there- does he not have a key? Am I missing something.

Chubfuddler · 22/07/2012 16:57

Comatose till 4pm? What a twat. Wasn't he worried about where his pregnant girlfriend had gone at 1pm?

Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 16:57

We only got one set of keys which I had. Getting the other ones cut tomorrow. More likely they sat up for further amounts of hours getting more and more pissed. He has went to bed neither 6 and slept for a normal amount of time. Then sat and shit himself for an hour or so dreading my wrath (ha) then phoned. Either that or he's been away shagging about. The smell of drink of him though she wouldn't exactly have been in for a treat. It's very bad form I couldn't be less impressed. And that's it in 'master of the understatement' mode.

OP posts:
Original poster
CinnamonSal · 22/07/2012 16:58

*nearer 6

OP posts:
Del123 · 22/07/2012 16:59

1am isn't even that late. If he'd been out till say 5/6am then maybe you would sleep till lunch but there is no way anybody could be 'comatose' for that long.

I would be re-questioning him, none of his timings make sense. Why did he not just get up at 9am and come home? Completely unacceptable.

Squeegle · 22/07/2012 17:01

My ex did this all the time. Sorry you're going through this. Mine was a real binge drinker, when hd started he could not stop. In my case it took me far too long to lay out my own boundaries- ie I will not live with someone who treats me in this way, as opposed to you must not drink like this.

We are separated now. It's not easy but it is amillion times easier than it was.

Good luck OP, you were absolutely right in you first post- he's not giving you respect.

kinkyfuckery · 22/07/2012 17:03

Take care of yourself OP

I've been there with my EX husband. Ex for a reason :(

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