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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving dc in a hotel room (yes, I know it's been done!)

175 replies

ravenAK · 22/07/2012 00:17

Ok, I know this is a MN perennial!
Dh & I are planning to do a bit of a road trip with the dc ? the idea is that we throw everyone & a tent into the van, head for the opposite end of the country & catch up with sundry friends & relatives.
We?d planned to do one overnighter with my oldest friend, Jo. The idea is to head to a local theme park (not as horrific as it sounds for the poor woman ? Jo & I are roller coaster junkies), & then dh & the dc would spend the evening at a hotel whilst Jo & I went out on the town. At some point her new dp would be joining us, either for dinner or for drinks.
All sorted, until my mum rings earlier this evening & ends up chatting to dh, who explains all this & mentions that he?s feeling slightly Cinderella-ish about not getting to go out with Jo, her new chap & me (dh & Jo adore each other, & we haven?t seen her for months ? neither of us has met her new dp).
Mum is taken aback by this, because to her it?s completely obvious that we should book a hotel with a halfway decent restaurant, put the kids to bed & both have dinner with Jo & her dp.
Dh relays this to me when I get home, finding it quite funny (he also has parents whose idea of responsible 70s parenting re: nights out was for the parent who was driving to steer clear of the whisky chasers & occasionally pop out to the car park with crisps for the offspring they?d locked in the Cortina...)

I find myself thinking ? actually, she?s got a point. The dc are aged 4 to 8 & we could leave ds with dh?s phone to ring mine if they needed us.
I can think of 3 possible problems:
1.Dc have some sort of fight or do something daft resulting in one of them being injured.
2.Fire, & dh & I not being allowed back upstairs to get the dc out of the room.
3.Sinister strangers with hotel master keys.
None of them seem that likely tbh, but it?s fair to say that it?s a ?low risk, high consequence? situation...
We do have other options anyway (we could camp at Jo?s ? the only reason she isn?t putting us up anyway is that she?s sharing a house, but she?s offered her garden for camping; or I suppose we could hire someone to sit in a hotel room via Sitters).
So AIBU to even consider doing as my mum suggests?

OP posts:
Original poster
ravenAK · 22/07/2012 00:19

(& I have no idea why all my apostrophes are now question marks - pasted in from Word to avoid losing long post by MN timing me out. Grrr! Sorry)

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 22/07/2012 00:20

It is entirely up to you what to do. Either option sounds fine to me. An 8 year old able to use a mobile phone should be fine if it is a small hotel and you are only downstairs anyway, although at 8 and 4, are they not likely to want to be up and with you while you eat?

bogeyface · 22/07/2012 00:21

Yes

Hire a sitter or tell your DH to deal with it.

bogeyface · 22/07/2012 00:21

As in "suck it up" deal with it!

HauntedLittleLunatic · 22/07/2012 00:22

Madeliene McCann.

CointreauVersial · 22/07/2012 00:22

It would depend very much on the hotel and the temperament of your children.

In the right circumstances I would leave mine in a locked hotel room (once asleep), but someone will be along in a minute to whisper the words "Madeleine McCann".

LucieMay · 22/07/2012 00:23

Personally, I think they're too young. Had it been say a 12 year old and an eight year old I think that would be fine, but four is still a baby really and eight is too young to be the eldest person in a locked room alone at night with a four year old.

CointreauVersial · 22/07/2012 00:23

There you go....

Moominsarescary · 22/07/2012 00:23

I wouldn't, ds3 feel over the other day and gave himself a nose bleed. Ds2 who is 9 was hysterical because his little brother had hurt himself. You couldn't trust them not to mess around and accidents happen

squeakytoy · 22/07/2012 00:23

too late Cointreau! Grin

poorfoxyloxy · 22/07/2012 00:24

I wouldn't, nope, never. Chances are everything would be ok, but could you live with yourself if not?

Moominsarescary · 22/07/2012 00:24

*fell not feel

AgentZigzag · 22/07/2012 00:25

Even though I loathe it, I'd go with the camping.

It'd just be too much of a risk for me that something bizarrely unusual wouldn't happen, leaving that horrible feeling that if only I'd taken the other option.

I know a lot of people weigh up risks differently, but it would be too high a price for me to pay if I made the wrong call.

(I acknowledge unforeseen things may happen in the tent)

bogeyface · 22/07/2012 00:25

Oh FFS! I dont agree with the OP doing this but "Madeline McCann" is not an answer to every fucking thread like this!

The OPs situation is totally different to the McCanns in that she is in her own country and will be in the same building!

As I said, i still think it is a bad idea, but I do get very naffed off with MM trotted out as the "thats all you need to say" answer.

SittingBull · 22/07/2012 00:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paradisechick · 22/07/2012 00:26

No. And my no has fuck all to do with MMc and everything to do with common sense.

Original poster
ravenAK · 22/07/2012 00:27

Oh he would quite happily suck it up, bogeyface - I'll be on 'staying in the tent with kids' duties later in the week when we visit his mate.

Having been in the 'my kids are little & can't be left' zone for 8 years, my mother's convo with dh has left me thinking, you know, at some point one presumably starts leaving them on their own in hotel rooms. Babies, probably not a great idea; fourteen year olds, probably fine.

Where's the line?

OP posts:
Original poster
ravenAK · 22/07/2012 00:29

(& yes, I knew MM would be referenced...)

OP posts:
pinkyp · 22/07/2012 00:29

I wouldn't 8 seems too young too "be in charge" imo

paradisechick · 22/07/2012 00:32

That's exactly right pinky and its not fair to expect an eight year old to make decisions.

HauntedLittleLunatic · 22/07/2012 00:32

I think that the country you are or aren't in is irrelevant.

Yes the circumstances are.slightly different in that the ages of the children are different and the layout of the restaurant vs accomodation are different, but at the end of the day the core scenario is the same - children being left unattended in an unfamiliar environment. Yes what happened was extreme, but at the end of the day there is a powerful and poigniant message behind the 2 words 'Madeleine McCann' which is relevant here. It may not be the view held by most but the words still starkly summarise one relevant opinion.

squeakytoy · 22/07/2012 00:34

I would say it all depends on the size of the hotel. If it is a small family style place, with a few rooms and one bar, then I dont see any problem.

IvanaNap · 22/07/2012 00:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn as this poster has privacy concerns.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 22/07/2012 00:38

No. I have a 4yo DD and a 9yo niece, both fairly level headed kids and I wouldn't leave them in a hotel room alone. The older one is still young enough to be silly if the mood took her. And I wouldn't enjoy myself for wondering if they were ok. Would completely spoil the evening.

bogeyface · 22/07/2012 00:41

Hang on.

He is whining because you get a night out without him, but then expects you to be on babysitting duty while he goes out with his friend?!

Tell him to sod off!

Haunted being in your home country makes a huge difference. The OP can more fairly judge the risks in her home country, than she can in a holiday resort abroad that deliberately pushes the image of safe family fun. And to me there is no "poigniant message" behind those 2 words, just someone who uses "Madeline McCann" as a catch all answer to anything vaguely related.