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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving dc in a hotel room (yes, I know it's been done!)

175 replies

ravenAK · 22/07/2012 00:17

Ok, I know this is a MN perennial!
Dh & I are planning to do a bit of a road trip with the dc ? the idea is that we throw everyone & a tent into the van, head for the opposite end of the country & catch up with sundry friends & relatives.
We?d planned to do one overnighter with my oldest friend, Jo. The idea is to head to a local theme park (not as horrific as it sounds for the poor woman ? Jo & I are roller coaster junkies), & then dh & the dc would spend the evening at a hotel whilst Jo & I went out on the town. At some point her new dp would be joining us, either for dinner or for drinks.
All sorted, until my mum rings earlier this evening & ends up chatting to dh, who explains all this & mentions that he?s feeling slightly Cinderella-ish about not getting to go out with Jo, her new chap & me (dh & Jo adore each other, & we haven?t seen her for months ? neither of us has met her new dp).
Mum is taken aback by this, because to her it?s completely obvious that we should book a hotel with a halfway decent restaurant, put the kids to bed & both have dinner with Jo & her dp.
Dh relays this to me when I get home, finding it quite funny (he also has parents whose idea of responsible 70s parenting re: nights out was for the parent who was driving to steer clear of the whisky chasers & occasionally pop out to the car park with crisps for the offspring they?d locked in the Cortina...)

I find myself thinking ? actually, she?s got a point. The dc are aged 4 to 8 & we could leave ds with dh?s phone to ring mine if they needed us.
I can think of 3 possible problems:
1.Dc have some sort of fight or do something daft resulting in one of them being injured.
2.Fire, & dh & I not being allowed back upstairs to get the dc out of the room.
3.Sinister strangers with hotel master keys.
None of them seem that likely tbh, but it?s fair to say that it?s a ?low risk, high consequence? situation...
We do have other options anyway (we could camp at Jo?s ? the only reason she isn?t putting us up anyway is that she?s sharing a house, but she?s offered her garden for camping; or I suppose we could hire someone to sit in a hotel room via Sitters).
So AIBU to even consider doing as my mum suggests?

OP posts:
amillionyears · 22/07/2012 11:51

I meant gold bars,as in priceless.
Kids are priceless.

treadheavily · 22/07/2012 12:02

I wouldn't. Wouldn't leave them at home on their own, at night, at those ages, and definitely not in a place unfamiliar to them.

StealthPolarBear · 22/07/2012 13:09

Well would you leave your little gold bars in a hotel room alone when thwyre 14? At some point you need to decide thwyre old enough

Ohyoubadbadkitten · 22/07/2012 13:41

I'm struggling with this. We've been booking hotels in France for our hols. One of them we liked only had double rooms but did a really good deal for 2 for the price of 1. So we booked it thinking that dd was old enough at 12 to be in a room herself. Now I've got cold feet and think I'll probably share her room as what if someone tries to get in her room either on purpose or accidentally. That's quite scary as an adult sharing with dh, I think it would be terrifying for her.

yousankmybattleship · 22/07/2012 13:46

Can't you eat early and let the children join you? If not, I'd say let your Husband look after them. He'll get a nice early night and you'll be able to relax knowing that your children are loked after. I'd never leave mine alone in a strange hotel.

GhostShip · 22/07/2012 14:09

I was just thinking. He feels cinderella-ish about staying in minding his own kids hahah! Bless.

5madthings · 22/07/2012 14:35

what exotic has said, it depends entirely on the children, the size of the hotel/ b&b and proximity of the bar/restaraunt, you could use baby moniters if it is close enough and make sure the room is child safe.

i have done it, small hotel, only relatives of mine staying, literally a minute away from the room the children were sleeping in, and i had a nce evening with family to celebrate a cousins wedding. i took it in turns with my parents to check in on them just to be sure, it was fine.

exoticfruits · 22/07/2012 16:59

Of course children are priceless but you can't compare to gold bars - the way you treat gold bars would be a very unhealthy way to treat children!
It is all a bit like saying 'how long is a piece of string?' - there are so many variables to make it meaningful. A 12 year old should be fine in her own room - wait and see the set up.

Ohyoubadbadkitten · 22/07/2012 17:07

I think you are right exotic. Well see what the set up is, if she's in the next room to us I'll have no problems hearing if there are any issues. And tbh she's just as likely to have the same issue when she is 14/16/18 at some point I have to let go a bit!

exoticfruits · 22/07/2012 17:15

You have the option of sharing with her so you can just relax and see how it goes.

puds11 · 22/07/2012 17:19

Just hire a fucking babysitter. Im sure the hotel will have a list of local sitters.

StealthPolarBear · 22/07/2012 17:24

Kitten are you talking about leaving her in her room while you go out? Or just allowing her to sleep in the room next door? Surely there's no issue with that?

SirBoobAlot · 22/07/2012 17:27

No no and NO. I never understand why people do this. Its just common sense. Think of the amount of times you have been doing the washing up / gone to the loo / gone in the shower, and there has been an issue to sort out in the brief time you were gone from the room. Why on earth would you take the risk of something happening?

If you want to both go out, hire a sitter. A lot of hotels will have a list of recommended sitters. Or just go out for dinner to a family friendly place.

Freddiebump · 22/07/2012 17:40

I think it totally depends on the hotel. I stayed in a little b&b recently with ds and 2 friends; mine and ds's room was at the very top of the house and my friends' room was out my door and down 6 steps, so almost next door. I put him to bed and went to my friends room to have a glass of wine and watch a film. But we were the only guests in a 5 bedded b&b, we left the door propped open a bit so that we would see anyone going past (the only place you would be going to past my friends' room was mine) and I popped up regularly to check on him. I told ds (6) where I was and he was happy to just sleep, as he struggles to get to sleep with me in the room anyway. It depends on the circumstances. If it were a large hotel where I would be 5 looks away then never, but practically in the next room is different.

Ohyoubadbadkitten · 22/07/2012 17:43

Blush I'm being silly stealth aren't I! Tis letting her sleep in the room next door!

Original poster
ravenAK · 24/07/2012 21:07

OK, coming back to it briefly:

I'm not happy with the idea of leaving them in a hotel room (maybe if it was a small family run place, with easy access from room to dining room, I might consider it) - more because I think they'd muck about & be exhausted the next day, & we wouldn't be able to relax anyway, than because I think it's a major risk, tbh. But the (however unlikely) scenarios of fire/kidnap/one of them gbh-ing a sibling are horrific enough for me to not fancy it.

I was just curious as to a) would other people consider it, or is that just my mad mum, & b) how old do they have to be then? The concensus seems to be overwhelmingly 'No, just your mum' - which is fine.

To whoever mentioned calling our GP, she's lovely, but I doubt she'd fancy joining us for the week & I don't think she even does babysitting...Grin.

& we won't be hiring a 'fucking babysitter' because it's an added layer of faff - atm our preferred option is to see if we can find an affordable last minute s/c place for the night, failing which dh is free to choose between camping in Jo's garden & playing Billy-No-Mates at the hotel.

Either of which he's quite happy to do, but will whinge about a bit in order to make it clear that I Owe Him One.

OP posts:
EclecticShock · 24/07/2012 21:09

No, would never at any age under 16 and then they would have to be trustworthy :)

EclecticShock · 24/07/2012 21:10

We're having to hire a villa so ds can be close and we can keep an eye on him but still have some fun x

EclecticShock · 24/07/2012 21:10

I don't know where the x came from other than I was thinking of fun... :)

bogeyface · 24/07/2012 21:10

but will whinge about a bit in order to make it clear that I Owe Him One.

And I hope that you will be making it clear that that you will be paying him back one when you are sat in the tent while he is out on the piss with his mates!

I am really Hmm about his attitude to it.

thebody · 24/07/2012 21:16

God I loved my 70s upbringing of parents in the pub, us in the car or more likely running around pub car park and mom coming out with crisis and Pepsi,,,, fantastic,,, far far more fun than helicopter parents...

Built dens, made friends, threw stones in river, hung rope over trees and swung over said river,,, fukin wonderful..

thebody · 24/07/2012 21:18

Sorry re ops pil reference incase sounded like a rambling idiot!!!

MirandaGoshawk · 24/07/2012 21:18

What about staying in a B&B & get fish & chips and booze to eat in the room!

I wouldn't want to hire a babysitter & leave my dch alone with someone none of us knows any more than leaving them alone. can't forget the Simpson's episode with the evil babysitter although that did end well!

Olympicnmix · 24/07/2012 21:21

Why not stick dcs in one of these and dine nearby so you can keep an eye on them?

It's my solution to all parenting quandaries tonight.

exoticfruits · 24/07/2012 21:22

A bit strange that someone can join the army or get married and yet they can't have a few hours in a hotel room at 16yrs. A bit scary to let them loose 2 years later without some freedom and responsibility only 2 years before.