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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving dc in a hotel room (yes, I know it's been done!)

175 replies

ravenAK · 22/07/2012 00:17

Ok, I know this is a MN perennial!
Dh & I are planning to do a bit of a road trip with the dc ? the idea is that we throw everyone & a tent into the van, head for the opposite end of the country & catch up with sundry friends & relatives.
We?d planned to do one overnighter with my oldest friend, Jo. The idea is to head to a local theme park (not as horrific as it sounds for the poor woman ? Jo & I are roller coaster junkies), & then dh & the dc would spend the evening at a hotel whilst Jo & I went out on the town. At some point her new dp would be joining us, either for dinner or for drinks.
All sorted, until my mum rings earlier this evening & ends up chatting to dh, who explains all this & mentions that he?s feeling slightly Cinderella-ish about not getting to go out with Jo, her new chap & me (dh & Jo adore each other, & we haven?t seen her for months ? neither of us has met her new dp).
Mum is taken aback by this, because to her it?s completely obvious that we should book a hotel with a halfway decent restaurant, put the kids to bed & both have dinner with Jo & her dp.
Dh relays this to me when I get home, finding it quite funny (he also has parents whose idea of responsible 70s parenting re: nights out was for the parent who was driving to steer clear of the whisky chasers & occasionally pop out to the car park with crisps for the offspring they?d locked in the Cortina...)

I find myself thinking ? actually, she?s got a point. The dc are aged 4 to 8 & we could leave ds with dh?s phone to ring mine if they needed us.
I can think of 3 possible problems:
1.Dc have some sort of fight or do something daft resulting in one of them being injured.
2.Fire, & dh & I not being allowed back upstairs to get the dc out of the room.
3.Sinister strangers with hotel master keys.
None of them seem that likely tbh, but it?s fair to say that it?s a ?low risk, high consequence? situation...
We do have other options anyway (we could camp at Jo?s ? the only reason she isn?t putting us up anyway is that she?s sharing a house, but she?s offered her garden for camping; or I suppose we could hire someone to sit in a hotel room via Sitters).
So AIBU to even consider doing as my mum suggests?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 22/07/2012 00:41

I wouldn't do it.

And my no to the idea also has nothing to do with Madeleine McCann.

Although I do see why people reference her so quickly on these threads. It's a valid point.

ThePigOnTheWall · 22/07/2012 00:42

op your kids are still little. 4 is little.

Don't do it.

Bossybritches22 · 22/07/2012 00:42

Some hotels have a baby listening service where you leave the phone off the hook, connected to switchboard & they alert you if they here a noise.

Original poster
ravenAK · 22/07/2012 00:42

Well, we haven't got to the point of booking anywhere, but it'd certainly have to be somewhere small for us to consider it (as squeakytoy describes).

I suppose we could think about a s/c apartment, for that matter, or book 2 hotel rooms, put the dc to bed in one & eat/drink in the other.

It's not that we particularly need or want to leave the dc alone in a hotel room - it's one option, & not a particularly attractive one given the amount of worrying, & running up & downstairs checking we'd end up doing!

I'm curious because there is obviously a massive difference of opinion between my mother, who thinks it quite ridiculous that we'd hesitate for a moment before leaving 3 sensible children in a nice safe hotel room, & the posters who are saying they absolutely wouldn't consider it...when does it become viable?

OP posts:
TheEnthusiasticTroll · 22/07/2012 00:44

dont leave your kids alone and dont leave your dh out. I would be fuming if I where him.

cant you.

A) have meal with kids in toe.

i find it odd that you would go off to a theme park with out your family

B) camp with friends and put kids to bed and make a lovekly camp meal.

still would not exclude family from theme park.

C) hire a babysitter from hotel staff (I would not)

OR

D) hotel with a resteraunt room nearest restauraunt, with a baby monitor ( I would not)

i just would not exclude my family from this gathering at all.

bogeyface · 22/07/2012 00:45

Tbf raven, our parents also thought that packing 8 kids into a back seat, with no seat belts, and a couple in the estate boot was fine too :o

It becomes viable when you know that you can leave them safe in the knowledge that if something were to happen, an accident, fire alarm etc and they would behave appropriately both together and alone.

Original poster
ravenAK · 22/07/2012 00:46

Bogeyface, he's not whining!

He thought my mum was daft (well, a product of an era of more relaxed parenting, shall we say!) to suggest it.

It's me that's thinking: OK, I don't think I'd be comfortable doing this now (although statistically they're almost certainly more at risk driving TO the hotel...) - so when does it become a sensible thing to do? When the youngest is a teenager, or somewhere before that?

OP posts:
TheEnthusiasticTroll · 22/07/2012 00:46

IMHO it never becomes viable unless they are teens and responsible sensible ones at that.

bogeyface · 22/07/2012 00:46

I would be fuming if I where him.

Why troll? He will be getting his evening with his friend, why does he get to gatecrash the OPs evening with her friend?

bogeyface · 22/07/2012 00:47

Sorry OP, I read it like he was. Projecting my own marriage issues there I think Blush sorry

TidyDancer · 22/07/2012 00:48

It depends greatly on the child in question really, doesn't it?

Generally speaking, in an unfamiliar place, I probably wouldn't leave a primary school child unless the sibling was much, much older.

Original poster
ravenAK · 22/07/2012 00:49

EnthusiasticTroll, theme park is for all of us (me, dh, kids, friend - not her dp as he'll be at work).

Then planning to catch up with Jo over dinner & drinks, minus kids & with her new bloke - & probably without dh, which is fine, but with him able to join us would be nice.

OP posts:
bogeyface · 22/07/2012 00:50

tidy I would add to that, and the younger child would listen and obey the older sibling, and not kick off and cause huge trouble.

squeakytoy · 22/07/2012 00:51

Bogey, the OP has never said he was whining at all. You are turning it into a perfect example of the thread on here about the negative posts regarding DH/DP's.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 22/07/2012 00:52

missed that bogeyface, sorry. I was just suposing that they are all on holiday together and seemed off to do this to him and the kids, but if its working both ways then it is a non issue to me then, he stays with kids this night and you stay with kids that other night. seems fair.

brdgrl · 22/07/2012 00:53

No, they are too young.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 22/07/2012 00:56

FFS im puttimg my glasses on and re reading this thread Grin

just enjoy the evening with your friends and he enjoy it with his.

do thye sleep well as i could through a party in a hotel room and my dd would sleep through it if she settled well. Could you return to hotel for drinks with dh in your room after meal? or send dh and the happy couple down to the bar for an hour after you all return from meal? then he gets to say hi and meet new man and catch up with the lovely jo.

Original poster
ravenAK · 22/07/2012 00:56

Tbh, I've just re-read my own OP & those bloody ?s render it fairly unreadable, so I don't blame Bogey at all for thinking dh was chuntering!

He's not though - he just mentioned to my mum, who has also known Jo for years, that we were both really looking forward to seeing her, & it was a shame he wasn't going to be able to eat out with us as he'd be sitting with the kids.

Mum took it & ran with it! Grin

OP posts:
bogeyface · 22/07/2012 00:57

Squeaky, I have posted above about that. I have re-read the Op and realised I read it wrong.

bogeyface · 22/07/2012 00:58

I think it was the phrase "Feeling a bit cinderella-ish" that did it. sounds bit whiney to me!

Anyway, all sorted and no harm done :)

squeakytoy · 22/07/2012 00:59

Sorry Bogey, I saw that as my post came up. PC on a go slow here tonight.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 22/07/2012 00:59

take mum to babysit??? Grin

ZenNudist · 22/07/2012 01:02

Can you find a B&B where the owner will do you a meal? I've stayed in places like that in the lakes and the peak district. Home from home situation.

Or you can get baby monitor app on your phone that you set to dial another number if noise is detected.

I don't know if I'd do it as at 4 & 8 I'd have thought they could theoretically let themselves out & wander off. I'd be more likely to meet you friend for tea when you can feed everyone altogether and then go out for a drink later on.

I have known friends leave a baby in a hotel room (in Spain) small hotel sat in bar no problems. But a baby is not able to wander off and going for a drink downstairs where you're sat by the stairs is less distracting than a meal.

NoComet · 22/07/2012 01:03

My two slept in the room next door to ours, no connecting door, when they were 3 and 6. We had two way Walkie talkies and they were absolutely fine.

I wouldn't have left them to go to the bar as it was several floors away.

Also I'm not sure I'd have been happy with them having a balcony to play on when 6 and 9. They were more sensible when they were little than when they started thinking they knew best.

I'd be a bit nervous of an 8 year olds version of being in charge. Fine if she'll simply ring if worried. If she tries to sort things out herself it may go wrong.

At 6 DD1 wouldn't have and wouldn't have lied either at 8 I'm not do sure.

Moominsarescary · 22/07/2012 01:10

The only time I've done it was when we stayed at Alton towers. Ds1 was. 13 his friend was the same age and ds2 was 5 and asleep.

I was gone half an hour, it had been a bloody long day