Leaving dc in a hotel room (yes, I know it's been done!)

[ravenAK]

Ok, I know this is a MN perennial!
Dh & I are planning to do a bit of a road trip with the dc ? the idea is that we throw everyone & a tent into the van, head for the opposite end of the country & catch up with sundry friends & relatives.
We?d planned to do one overnighter with my oldest friend, Jo. The idea is to head to a local theme park (not as horrific as it sounds for the poor woman ? Jo & I are roller coaster junkies), & then dh & the dc would spend the evening at a hotel whilst Jo & I went out on the town. At some point her new dp would be joining us, either for dinner or for drinks.
All sorted, until my mum rings earlier this evening & ends up chatting to dh, who explains all this & mentions that he?s feeling slightly Cinderella-ish about not getting to go out with Jo, her new chap & me (dh & Jo adore each other, & we haven?t seen her for months ? neither of us has met her new dp).
Mum is taken aback by this, because to her it?s completely obvious that we should book a hotel with a halfway decent restaurant, put the kids to bed & both have dinner with Jo & her dp.
Dh relays this to me when I get home, finding it quite funny (he also has parents whose idea of responsible 70s parenting re: nights out was for the parent who was driving to steer clear of the whisky chasers & occasionally pop out to the car park with crisps for the offspring they?d locked in the Cortina...)

I find myself thinking ? actually, she?s got a point. The dc are aged 4 to 8 & we could leave ds with dh?s phone to ring mine if they needed us.
I can think of 3 possible problems:
1.Dc have some sort of fight or do something daft resulting in one of them being injured.
2.Fire, & dh & I not being allowed back upstairs to get the dc out of the room.
3.Sinister strangers with hotel master keys.
None of them seem that likely tbh, but it?s fair to say that it?s a ?low risk, high consequence? situation...
We do have other options anyway (we could camp at Jo?s ? the only reason she isn?t putting us up anyway is that she?s sharing a house, but she?s offered her garden for camping; or I suppose we could hire someone to sit in a hotel room via Sitters).
So AIBU to even consider doing as my mum suggests?

My apologies, the law in the UK does not have age limits, but the law in other countries I have lived in imposes age limits as high as 12 and prosecutes parents for leaving their children alone at that age. I found some recomendations though stating the same age:

www.direct.gov.uk/en/parents/yourchildshealthandsafety/yourchildssafetyinthehome/dg_070594

my kids are 12 and 8 and i wouldn't do it

the idea of leaving a 4 year old and an 8 year old alone makes me go all cold

Leaving an 8 year old to look after 2 younger siblings is pretty negligent in my opinion. He is far too old to take any kind of responsibility.

Book a sitter, or go with the camping option.

I think it is imminent that the law here in the UK is changed in the near future:

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/2286498/Parents-face-jail-for-leaving-children-home-alone.html#

We went to a wedding recently and when we got back to the hotel we put the DSs in bed (they were fast asleep) and went to the bar with some other guests.
The room and the bar were on the same floor, and one of DH and I went back every 10 minutes to check on them.

I've dOne it when mine were babies (in cots) and with alarm set for every 5 minutes - and just for 45 minutes - to get out of being in hotel room night after night.

I wouldn't do it now they can walk around.

Nope-I wouldn't do this. Camp in their garden and get a takeaway at your friend's house. Then your DH can be in charge of the kids if you and your friend gave to go out. Or just go to the theme park with the kids and menfolk before you eat.

If you would leave your dcs and go across the road for dinner then there is probably no difference in leaving them alone in a hotel room. I wouldn't do it.

Hate these threads.

You don't leave your children alone in a strange place. At all.

Ok so if you hired a cotttage you'd stay in their room all night?

And do you allow them to run off and play at soft play, going out of earshot?

I'd take the kids out for the meal too.

If its a small hotel and the 8 yo is used to taking responsibility for the 4 yo then I think it'd be fine to leave them.

Neither would I, I agree . Not sure about the actual risks, though the risks of them waking and getting up to mischief would worry me a thousand times more than them being taken (also to the people who think Madeleine McCann is some sort of response) but I definitely woudnt do it because I just wouldn't relax. I know because we've done it once. Small hotel, our room at top of stairs, dh and I had a glass of wine at bar at bottom of stairs. Baby monitor. We were both very excited at first and felt free and then after about 5 minutes we mutually downed our wine and left.

The fact that you are questioning it means deep down you know it's wrong.

Don't do it!

Its a risk you don't need to take. There was a woman on here. She left her kids and the hotel room caught on fire , can't remember the exact details but her kids nearly died. One situation, but one of many that could happen.
In all fairness though the children are probably more of a harm to theirselves when they're a bit older than babies. God knows what they could get up to.

Soft play is different, the ones I've been to have carers watching over the children and sign in passes.

Totally she doesn't plan to. She planned not to and then a comment by her mum led her to wondering if she wbu

Ah so the risks are about child snatching for you?
Anyway my comment about soft play was in response to you don't leave your children alone in a strange place. Ever. Which I think is a bit too strict Tbh

I think of my kids as gold bars.
Now would you do it?

How can popping back every ten minutes be enjoyable? Sounds exhausting!

Margerykemp the OP has later stated that it is 3 children, aged between 4 and 8, not 2, therefore the 8 year old would be in charge of two younger siblings.

Do you have a baby moniter left over? that way DC1 wouldnt actually have to call you and you would hear the slightest bit of a problem. Or could you let the kids stay up and eat dinner with you?

Camping would work, but is a child safer in a tent in a garden with parents in the house.. I think they would be safer in a locked hotel room personally.

Your DP could just swap over with you for a hour in the evening so you both get the chance to do some socialising? With it being your good friend that feels a bit unreasonable.

If I were you I'd probably buy DP a couple of beers, hire him cinderella on DVD and go out and have fun with my friend.

Seems to me like only you know if your kids are emotionally old enough to deal with this (some kids would be terrified, some would relish the responsiblity) if you don't feel right about it don't, if your just worried about what others think...

I would say plan for dp to stay then get a feel for the place.

Have you still got / could you borrow a baby monitor?

The whole point is they are not gold bars-if your 8yr old is as useless as a gold bar then don't do it! If you have a sensible one, in a small place, who would find you easily then it is completely different. I can't see why it is different from putting them to bed in a holiday cottage and sitting out in the garden.

The 8yr old does of course have to be happy with it.