Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH signed text to work colleague "XILF x" AIBU to be very angry?

130 replies

sockonwilly · 16/07/2012 09:24

DH worked away for 7-8 weeks a couple of months ago and has been away lots of weekends recently.

Found a text to someone he's been working with signed "the XILF x".

The "X" is something else which I have changed but imagine it being a job title so for example if he was a manager it was MILF or if he was a doctor it would be DILF.

We all know what that means right?

Clearly been at least some sort of innappropriate conversations going on here hasnt there Sad

I am 32 wks preg.

There is an awful awful lot wrong with our relationship in other ways but I didnt think faithfulness was one of them tbh....

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 16/07/2012 09:25

yes, thats bad, im sorry. look after yourself. any other DC?

WorraLiberty · 16/07/2012 09:25

What did he say when you asked him about it?

valiumredhead · 16/07/2012 09:26

How did you 'find' a text? Wink

You need a serious talk with him.

squeakytoy · 16/07/2012 09:26

Sorry but it really doesnt sound good. :(

You probably should get this moved over to relationships, as you certainly are not being unreasonable to be angry.

SecrectFarleysNibbler · 16/07/2012 09:27

Ilf ???

valiumredhead · 16/07/2012 09:28

I'd like to fuck

kim147 · 16/07/2012 09:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kim147 · 16/07/2012 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sockonwilly · 16/07/2012 09:33

yes a DS aged 2.

I handed him the phone and said Iwould like an explanation by the time I get back from the bathroom.

I got back and he was smirking.

I got my stuff and went to sleep in the spare room. and didnt say anything else.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 16/07/2012 09:34

'Smirking?'

I'd tell him to leave and watch how quickly the smirk disappears from his face!

kim147 · 16/07/2012 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LobstersLass · 16/07/2012 09:37

Steady on, it doesn't necessarily mean anything happened.

Looks to me like she's been flirting with him and being a typical bloke he's lapped up the attention. I know that my husband would find it hilarious if someone came up with an acronym like that for him - although I would find it much less hilarious.

Looks like it's her nick-name for him and he's used it to sign off a text. I'll advised and looks bad in black and white but again maybe just him being a naive fool.

Ask him about it - but be ready to explain why you were looking at his text messages.

LobstersLass · 16/07/2012 09:39

The smirking would do my head in.

I honestly don't think anything serious has happened and the smiring is more evidence that he thinks it's a funny nick-name rather than he's been caught out. A totally inappropriate response though.

valiumredhead · 16/07/2012 09:40

Looks to me like she's been flirting with him and being a typical bloke he's lapped up the attention

Typical blokes don't do that and then smirk when their pregnant wife asks them about it. Twats do though Hmm

Original poster
sockonwilly · 16/07/2012 09:40

Good reason why i was looking at messages so no fear with that - he gave me his phone himself - needed to check some dates of texts that had been sent as been charged for them on the bill and couldnt figure out why as he has unlimited texts.

I did ask him lobsters. as i said above he smirked.

OP posts:
Original poster
sockonwilly · 16/07/2012 09:41

yeah the smirking made me seethe to my fingertips - you know the feeling. I just had to leave the room as DS asleep next door.

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 16/07/2012 09:44

'sounds like she's been flirting with him' - how, exactly? The OP has a complete lack of any interaction from her to him - all she's seen is a text he sent to her. Very disturbing that anyone would assume from this that a woman 'must' have been paying the man attention.

I think if he gave you his phone, and smirked, he is being a twit. That would bug me more than what he texted personally, because it's a very immature/condescending response to a very simple question you're asking about what this text means.

YANBU at all to be upset.

LemonBreeland · 16/07/2012 09:44

His smirking reaction is appalling. He should be massively apologetic.

I'm so sorry that he has so little respect for you.

WorraLiberty · 16/07/2012 09:48

Typical blokes don't do that and then smirk when their pregnant wife asks them about it. Twats do though

Totally agree.

LobstersLass · 16/07/2012 09:49

LRD, because the acronym (horrible as it is) is not one you give yourself, it's one someone else bestows on you. I
f he's using it to sign off a text I'd suggest the person the text is written to is the one that's come up with the acronym.

So it's not very disturbing, it's logic.

LobstersLass · 16/07/2012 09:52

Socks, has he said anything this morning?

ThePigOnTheWall · 16/07/2012 09:54

I think smirking should actually be a defence for homicide. It makes me very angry because it completely belittles your feelings.

What's he said this morning?

TheOneWithTheHair · 16/07/2012 09:54

Say it is logic. If your dp came and asked you about it and then slept in another room wouldn't you be horrified that it could be misconstrued and want to explain and reassure your partner? I know I would.

I wouldn't sit their smirking and then let them sleep in another room. That is designed deliberately to hurt.

TheOneWithTheHair · 16/07/2012 09:55

*there not their Blush

Lucyellensmum99 · 16/07/2012 09:56

well fair play to you for not knocking the smirk of his face because i dont think i could have restrained myself. Is he always such a fuckwit?