To have reactedly very badly to this...

[GonePostal]

Mahoosive row with DH tonight.

Background: we socialise a lot with two couples, and have been friends for donkeys. DH told me yesterday that the two boys were coming over for a drink tonight to discuss a hobby shared by the three DHs.

I assumed that the girls were stuck looking after the kids. I was looking forward to seeing the guys. As it came to the time they were due to arrive, I was tidying up, chatting to DH about the fact that our only meal this evening would be the nibbles we were putting out. I put a bit of slap on.

I nip up to give the baby a bath and say I'll be done by the time they arrive. Come downstairs, DH hands me a glass of wine and I try to bring it and our baby to the room set up for the get together. It's already past the time the guys were due to arrive.

DH says "you're not coming in here are you?" and it turns out that this was intended to be a boys get together to which I'm not invited. So the plan is for me to hide a separate room while they have fun next door.

I felt surprised, embarrassed, excluded and I didn't react well at all, getting very emotional. We rowed. Many horrible things were said. The doorbell went and he told our friends we were arguing and sent them away.

He now says I "deliberately" ruined his evening and is drinking himself into oblivion.

WIBU?

Yup.

I often have female groups around like the book group, committee meetings - it would be most embarrassing if DHs expected to take part in any of the houses, they keep out of the way or go out.

I don't think it is just a gender thing - DH and I often have mixed groups round, and we wouldn't go to the others things without being asked.

What you all do in your houses is irrelevant. The point is. This is not an arrangement that has either been discussed or agreed in the op's house. The OP's DH has unilaterally decided that is how it is going to be and has not discussed it with her or even communicate that is how he feels/what he wants. THAT is why he is unreasonable.

Further to that he was happy to have her slaving but doesn't want her around otherwise and has basically stated she is expecting too much to expect she will be considered an equal in the relationship. That's one of the worst things I've ever ears someone say tbh.