To wish the word "narc" and its general usage could be wiped off the face of Mumsnet.

[GothAnneGeddes]

Narc as in short for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

There is a lot of debate about personality disorders within mental health and how they should be categorised anyway.

Often this term is used on Mumsnet when the person has never been diagnosed with any form of mental health issue, it's just a lazy shorthand for behaviours that the poster doesn't like. Then you have people who've never even met the person being discussed diagnosing them with it on here.

AIBU to think that armchair diagnosis is a bad idea and it needs to stop?

Yanbu..... Same with 'depression'. It's a guess and is overused

Yanbu. I don't think people realise the true definition of narcassistic personality disorder, how rare it is and not something you can diagnose over the internet.

I don't think I've seen it used on MN

Do you mean as in 'getting narcy' or 'narced' off?

I think I would have spelt it Narked or Narky though.

Yanbu. I wish I'd never heard of the term tbh, now I find myself diagnosing everyone :o

YANBU. I hate all this amateur psychiatry on Mumsnet.

He may or not be a narc, only a qualified psychiatrist can assess that. Just call him an annoying/irritating/whatever, which is your personal view, and if you don't like it, get out of the relationship.

You only have to read the relationship boarda Worra to see that at least 1 in 3 people have it!

'boards'

YANBU

I agree, OP. I see it used quite often, particularly over on Relationships.

Worra, it's often described as NPD. As PP says, it's apparently rife on Relationships.

I wish conversations about someone being an abusive sack of shit who doesn't give a rat's arse about you wouldn't end with someone diagnosing them with autism.

One day I am going to leap through the pc and beat someone to death.

Oh right well I don't read the relationships board because some of the armchair psychologists drive me mad.

If a man tells his wife to fuck off, you'll get some posters immediately saying he's EA.

If a woman tells her husband to fuck off, she'll be tired/stressed or hormonal.

Yabu. I agree that people cannot diagnose anything from the comfort of their living room regarding strangers....but without such sorts of specualtion, this site would be very dull.

What pisses me off is how depression etc..is often pedalled out as reason for shit behaviour. Sometimes people are just shits, and that's the end of it.

@ Hectate

I thought Narc was short for Narcotics Informant.

[totally out of touch emoticon]

And yes, Hec. Some people are just knobs. I do not have to consider that they may be autistic. I really don't. Or depressed or, apparently, narc.

Some people are just knobs.

Did I say that already?

Perhaps they should diagnose them with KSD

Knob Shit Disorder

I haven't seen it but I know what you mean. It's one thing to say 'do you think x might be worth checking out?' and totally different to go from 'hmm, you might have this' on page one to 'definitely this' on page two and 'since I have this' on the next thread.

OTOH I've seen quite a lot of threads where the OP is at the end of her tether and describing how she feels and someone will point out if could be postnatal depression - that one seems to me worth suggesting because it is quite common, and it is easy to check out but very hard to live with, so ... no harm, maybe?

I agree Tee

I wouldn't put up with shit behaviour from someone even if they were depressed/had a personality disorder...because I'm nobody's mother except to my kids.

Haven't seen it but I know the narc to mean a police informant!

Throwing caution to the wind here - all these people with toxic and narc families -I wonder if it ever occurred to them that maybe, just maybe, their behaviour is what causes their families to shy away? Whole load of drama llama complexes would be more like it

Te - Yes, I also though it meant nark, as copper's nark, or a grass, but sadly no.

LRD I usually follow 'sounds like it may by PND' with 'Go see your GP.'

Worra, think we can get it into the DSM-IV's next edition?

yanbu!
I'm a psych nurse, and any npds I've ever dealt with have been rare, and not so easily diagnosed. That's part of a pd surely?

Exactly Pic. Even if you do have special needs, you still need to function in the world. It's not my job to be your mother.

I have a son. It's my job to be his mother.

People can be narcissistic and not have a personality disorder, therefore you can refer to people as being so without diagnosing a PD.

They would only get the diagnosis if they went to a doctor and met all the criteria, which I am sure most narcissistic people probably won't do, since they don't like any form of self-criticism.

Just as you can describe traits as narcissistic or selfish or knobheaded.

I guess you just have to be careful of labelling people with disorders and say instead that they show traits. People can be dickheads without actually needing a doctor to tell you they have dickhead personality disorder.

From a poster with anxious personality disorder and recurrent depressive disorder.