My reaction to your posts is also "bless you", Latara. It sounds as though you're making heroic progress in managing your condition. I wish you continued good support, and as much self-forgiveness as it takes for you to feel more comfortable.
I think the fact I guessed you had a PD from your posts says enough about my take on the OP's problem.
Some internet sources wrongly conflate sociopathy and anti-social personality disorder. ASPD is basically psychopathy, and I've certainly no reason to think you have that!
You might not want to read the next part of this post. It may turn out quite long.
Sociopathy is an umbrella term meaning "a personality disorder characterized by a lack of social responsibility and failure to adapt to ethical and social standards of the community". The definition is quoted from an up-to-date medical dictionary.
You say "I'm disorganised & can be paranoid" and "my Psychologist has helped me with strategies to stop feeling too paranoid around my (really lovely) colleagues." To many NT people, this would translate as a lack of social responsibility. I'm happy for you, that you're learning to manage the paranoia in particular, as you know it can lead to social irresponsibility - by NT standards - and doesn't fit with the social standards of our community.
When you say "I can only work 2 days a week due to severe BPD & recurrent depressive disorder symptoms", you are saying that you're not adapted to the social standards of our NT community (because those standards hurt you).
Paranoia and depression, intense emotional dependence on other people, absence and catatonia all work against the ethical standards of our NT community. I suffer from some of those things myself; it's clear that my depression in particular works against the social norms of our NT community.
Nobody's saying there are absolute rights and wrongs. As I'm quite sure anyone in therapy knows, absolutism is itself disordered. Psychiatry is all about whether people are able to fit in with the norms of their present society. NT personalities are flexible so that, by and large, we intuitively adapt to our social circumstances. Because we have flexible personalities and expect other people to, our society calls less-adaptable personalities disordered. It's very hard for an NT person to understand how a PD mind (any PD) differs from 'normal' - and it's hard for the PD person to imagine the fluidity of an NT personality.
Again, this is not to call either variety 'wrong'. Have you heard the philosopher's conundrum about "reality", regarding the cave-dwellers?
A group of people live in a large cave, cut off from the outside world, and have done for generations. To them the world is dark and ends at stone walls, the sky is stone, day and night are indistinguishable, light is phosphorescence. Their cave is the world as far as they know.
One day a tribe member climbs out of the cave and sees the world in daylight, blue sky, sunshine, clouds, distant horizons, trees & flowers, all that.
Excited, she climbs back down to tell the others about what she's discovered. She says the cave is not the world. There's a whole other world beyond it: a world without walls or ceiling; where the light is dazzling and universal; full of new an colourful life forms! Come and see! she says.
Don't be daft, they all say, look around you! This is the world! It's always been the world, since time immemorial. You must have been at the hallucinogenic fungi.
No, she says, come with me now! You'll see!
For fucks sake, they all go, you're talking crazy. Other world? You must be mad!
The cave-dwellers aren't wrong because their definition of 'world' is, in fact, a cave.
The explorer isn't wrong because she did see what she saw.
But, if she wants to stay among her people, she must accept the world is a cave and live accordingly. She will have to admit that she's mad.
If she won't accept that, she'll have to go back outside and live alone.
Tough call.
Conversations between NTs and 'nons' tend to take on the air of the explorer's conversation with the cave-dwellers. Neither really gets how the other can see things so differently. I am not wrong to say you, as a BPD sufferer, can't see where I'm coming from. Neither are you wrong to point out I'm not describing the world as you see it.
It really is all a matter of prevalence, the whole lot of it. And I am not sure any of this will make sense to many people! But it will to some, so I'm posting it :)
Pax, Latara?